Siempre Te Amaré
by SaraiCullen
Summary: It was perfect, almost too perfect, to believe that their young, intense love would continue on forever as most young lovers do. What happened between Edward and Bella that broke their genuine and beautiful relationship? Prequel to "Anhelo Amarte"
1. Cuando Nos Conocimos

**_Summary: It was perfect, almost too perfect, to believe that their young, intense love would continue on forever, as most young lovers do. What happened between Edward and Bella that broke their genuine and beautiful relationship? _****_Prequel to "Anhelo Amarte". _****_Bella's POV. Lemons and some angst because breaking up is hard to do._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>So... yeah. I've been gone for a while. I apologize and if you're still with me (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!) then here it goes.<strong>_

_**This is the Prequel to Anhelo Amarte. This is the story of their relationship, the perfect and the imperfect, and their end.**_

_**Anhelo Amarte is currently under construction. Just re-editing it a bit, not a lot will be changed. In the meantime, I give you, Siempre Te Amaré.**_

_**I want to definitely thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday, January 6, 1997<em>**

_"Can I help you with something?" I asked as my heart pounded inside my chest._

_"_I was just admiring your work," he answered,___ the tenor of his deep, smooth voice warming me in places I was embarrassed to think of. "You're very good."_

_"_Okay," I mumbled as I turned from him, hoping to get his attention away from me. "Thanks...I guess."__

_I had been trying for most of the last hour to keep my eyes attached to my sketchbook__ as the charcoal in_ _my fingers pressed against the page sketched_ _M__r. Banner, __who stood at the front of the class. I began to work out the shape of his body as he,_ _himself, drew a rather bad impression of an onion root on the white board. The brilliance of his bald spot, the squares on his plaid long-sleeved shirt, __and his pudgy back made it onto the paper. There was nothing pretty about it, though there was nothing necessarily ugly. It was just a sketch, __like any other that I'd done, something I could concentrate on rather than the guy who was my new lab partner in Biology. But, __the longer I drew, the stronger the tension between my partner and I grew as I felt the weight of his eyes upon me._

_Earlier, I had been caught, stupidly enough, staring at him for a few seconds too long to be called a glance. The first thing __that struck me was __his eyes._

_Emerald? What normal human being has striking __emerald_ eyes like those? __

_Ridiculous._

_Beautiful._

_His eyes were shadowed by long lashes and the dark fringe of his eyebrows as they stared fixedly at the front of the room. His strong jaw and prominent cheekbones contrasted with the softness of his pale skin, and I had to keep_ _myself from reaching up to touch his face, avoiding the chance of embarrassing myself in the process. My fingers itched to trace every line and curve of his perfect face —__the bump on the bridge of his nose; the small pout of his full, pink lips; the small dimple on his chin— __hoping to memorize it and later try, as best as I could, to sketch it on paper for myself._

_I wondered, for a minute, if I could I do him justice. I would try anyway._

_My eyes traveled up to his wild, tousled __bronze hair which I noticed his fingers had spent a lot of time in. He tugged and pulled at his hair a lot, a sign of nervousness or anxiety, and I wondered if my fingers would ever get to feel how soft his locks seemed to be. Of their own accord, my eyes shamelessly roamed over his lean, but strong __build, his gray T-shirt clinging to every bump and curve of his muscles, his black jeans wrapped around his legs comfortably. I was used to the guys back in Phoenix who wore big baggy jeans that hung low around their bottoms, something I've never found attractive. Even here, in my first day in Forks High, I noticed some of the boys —__and I wasn't using that term loosely— __wore the same absurd look. But this guy was nothing like that. He didn't seem to follow the crowd_ _, and his style fit him perfectly._

_But as I sat there, practically molesting him with my eyes, he turned his sights on me, catching me in the act, and I don't remember ever being so embarrassed in all my life. I felt my face warm rapidly as I'm sure I turned ten shades of red right before his eyes. I'd been caught staring at him like an idiot, something I'm sure he was used to, as all the girls in this school seemed to swoon at the sight of him, and words seemed to fail me at this very moment._

_But, __if I thought that he was near-perfection before, it was nothing to what I saw next. His full lips spread into the most breathtaking crooked smile I'd ever seen, and my fingers suddenly itched to open my dog-eared, slightly-bent sketchbook and draw every single inch of him, over and over again._

_Too soon, he turned his sights back to the front where Mr. Banner continued __his lesson of the day, and I shook my head, trying to dispel the embarrassment and awkwardness of the moment. Since I had already studied __the stages of onion root mitosis back in Phoenix, I had taken out my sketchbook, placing it on the black table top __in front of me, and tried __not to let my eyes wander over to my left._

_Whether it was the insane awareness I had to his presence__ or the warmth of his body as he sat so close to me, it was extremely difficult for me to ignore him, and I prayed desperately __that the_ _infatuation I had with __this boy would soon become a part of my past._

_There was no way this guy would be interested in me. I was the type of girl who blended into the background, and I was okay with that. Well, until now. But I'd seen earlier, during lunch period, how some of the prettiest girls clung to him coquettishly as he reciprocated with his charm and laughter. There was no way in hell I was ever going to end up like that._

_Besides, there'd been other times where I'd crushed on guys who never noticed me. Granted,_ _no one as good looking as he, but I quickly got over those guys__ and went on my merry way._

_But right now, as I fought with great effort to ignore him, he was noticing my sketches, and he was not making it any easier on me._

_After an awkward pause, he pulled the notebook out and began scribbling, his pencil in his left hand. _

_Hmm, he was a lefty._

_Every so often, I could feel the weight of his eyes on me as I tried to hide behind the curtain of my long hair._ _I heard him place his pencil down and lean over, trying to catch my attention by whispering in my ear. M__y heart lurched again at this, and I mentally berated myself for my silly school girl crush._

_He tried_ _to get my attention a couple of times as I dutifully worked to ignore him because I didn't want to get in trouble the first day here. But when his index finger reached out to touch my hand, a sharp electric shock caused me to jump in my seat, and I found that I couldn't neglect him any longer._

_I sighed __and turned to look toward__ him as he held up his notebook, showing me what he had written down on paper. I didn't know why he was showing me this, but I decided to humor him._

_"_What is that?" I asked in a low whisper, since we were still in class.__

_"_Well," he began to explain. "I saw you were sketching out Mr. Banner, and I wanted to know what you thought of my interpretation of him."__

_I stared at him as if he was sprouting a second head. Was he for real?_

_"_Um, it's a stick figure."__

_"_What? You don't like it?" he asked, half-concerned, half-amused.__

_"_It's a stick figure," I repeated, wryly.__

_"_Hey, I'm offended," he whispered, with a hint of humor. "Art is art."__

_"_It's still a stick figure."__

_And then, he pouted. Curse my rapidly beating heart. __This guy was too much, too cute to ignore._

_"_Oh, I'm so sorry," I playfully, semi-apologized. "I'm no one to judge. It's amazing. It's truly life-changing. It is going to be the next Mona Lisa." I bit my bottom lip, trying to stop myself from smiling, as Mr. Banner was beginning to notice our inattention.__

_"_Well, now__ _you're just making fun of me," he cried lowly, still pouting, his bottom lip jutting out more than it had before. I had a sudden urge to throw myself at him, wrap my arms around him, and suck on his lips with my own, memorizing his taste. I'd never felt like that for anyone before, and it surprised me how much I was enjoying it. I feared, also, that this might be something more than a crush._

_"_But can I tell you a secret?" he continued, his warm breath hitting my face as he leaned even closer to me, causing my heart to beat double-time. My eyes quickly scanned the rest of the classroom, and I realized that everyone in class had been paired up. I wondered briefly, how long they had ___been like that. I turned my sights back to him, and he was deliciously, and torturously __close. "I can't draw to save my life."_

_I snorted loudly__, garnering the attention of some of the other students momentarily. I noticed that some of the girls he hung out with earlier had been intently watching us._

_"_No shit," I said, mockingly.__

_"_Yeah," he chuckled, and the sound of it went straight through me. But then his expression turned serious, his voice low, but sincere. "Maybe you could teach me."__

_"_Teach you?" I asked, incredulously.__

_"_Yeah, and maybe along the way, you could tell me about yourself." His voice sounded so smooth, so enticing, that I almost gave in.__

_"_There's not much to tell," I warned, because it was the truth.__

_"_Somehow, I seriously doubt that."__

_"_Don't say I didn't warn you."__

_"_We'll see. So, is that a 'yes'?"__

_I hesitated__ because there was still that bit of doubt within me that wondered why he would even bother. Was this for real, or was this a joke? Did he truly want to know me, or was he pulling my leg? I looked back to the group of girls who had done nothing but glare daggers in my direction since he began speaking to me, and I couldn't help wondering if any of them have had, or still had, a connection with him. I looked back to him_ _and __saw him fidget nervously, as he waited for my response. Why would he be nervous?_

_But I knew I wanted this. I wanted to __at least__ give him a chance,__ and perhaps it might work out. Maybe it might not. I wasn't usually a brave person, but it wasn't every day that someone like him asked me out._

_I stretched my hand out to him, waiting for him to shake mine. The moment our palms connected, the moment we both gasped at the sensations we felt as we touched, the moment we both looked at the other, acknowledging what we felt, I knew I was in serious trouble._

_"_Hi, my name is Isabella Swan," I introduced myself, with a tentative smile on my face. His posture visibly relaxed. "But you can call me Bella."__

_"_Hey, I'm Edward Masen," he said, lightly, and held my hand longer than he needed to. Not that I was complaining. "It's very nice to meet you."__

* * *

><p><em><strong>Please review! I won't know how I'm doing unless you tell me!<strong>_

_**Next chapter, coming up soon!**_


	2. Contigo Aprendí

**_Hello, all! Second chapter._**

_**I want to definitely thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**_

**_I've been asked when I'll starting again with Anhelo Amarte and hopefully *fingers crossed* it'll start when I'm done posting this one. This was originally supposed to be only one chapter but that is no longer the case, and it will be approximately 12 or 13 chapters, give or take. I'm going to try to update every week until then. Cool?_**

**_All righty..._**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Tuesday, February 11, 1997<strong>_

_"Hey, you," I greeted when I opened up the door to see him smiling at me._

_"Hey," he responded lowly._

_"Come on in," I invited, moving out of his way as he slid off his coat from his shoulders. It was drizzling outside, part of the constant wonder that was Forks, and he had to stop at the welcome mat to wipe the mud off his boots. He'd picked up a considerable coating when he walked from his car to the porch. This was the first time that Edward had come here, and it seemed so strange to me to see someone so... like him, walking through my door. But here he was, volunteering to help me study for next week's exam. "You know you don't have to do this, right?"_

_"See ya!" he said quickly, turning around and walking toward the door. My eyes widened, and my traitorous heart clenched at the thought of him leaving when he had just arrived._

_But no sooner than I could recover, he turned back toward me, smiling mischievously, and said, "Just kidding. I said I would help you, didn't I? So, here I am." He smiled that beatific, heart breaking smile that made me dizzy, and I shook my head to clear it of my reverie when, again, I'd been staring too long._

_"Okay," I said, turning to walk down the hallway toward the kitchen and signaling to him with a wave of my hand to follow me. I heard the heavy fall of his boots closely behind me, and my whole body felt that same hum that was present whenever he was near me. I opened the refrigerator door, and stood in front of it, hoping that the cold temperature would cool me down, and searched around inside. "So, um...would you like something to drink? I've got orange juice, milk, water..."_

_"_Agua, por favor, si no te molesta,_" he interrupted, leaning effortlessly against the wall, catching me off guard. I quickly realized that he was wasting no time getting to what he had come here for. For just a second, I'd forgotten this wasn't just hanging out between friends, or something more, and I mentally kicked myself for making it more than what it really was: just a study session. He stood in his black jeans with a gray, unzipped hoodie over a tight thin white shirt, a vision of perfection in contrast to the nauseating yellow wall behind him._

_"You lost me after '_por favor_'," I said, forcing myself to look somewhere else while I placed two glasses on the kitchen counter._

_"'Water, please, if you don't mind.' You should try offering again, this time in Spanish," he suggested, and I felt as if his eyes were following my every move._

_I wracked my brain for the correct translation for 'drink' as I poured water into each glass._

_"Uh..._¿quieres be-beber, bebida?_"_

_As I placed the gallon of water back in the fridge, I looked up at him to see if I'd said it correctly._

_"_¿Quieres algo de tomar?_" he corrected, picking up a pen and sticky pad off the counter by the phone to write it down for me._

_I read it, and I noticed he had nice handwriting, for a guy, and handed him his glass of water, motioning for him to follow me. "We can sit here at the table. Um..." Reminding myself that he was here to teach me Spanish, I flipped through the pages in the text book, fearing that it might not come out the right way. "_Uh...Sentar a la mesa por favor._"_

_"Is that what it says in the book?" he asked, sitting on the chair next to mine, looking like he belonged in a magazine instead of my kitchen. He pulled the text book toward him to read it._

_"Hey, I'm just trying to pass the class," I said, noticing that the rain outside began to fall harder, the sky growing darker than it had been. Inside, the tiny bit of daylight had dimmed even more, and with only the sounds of the hard rain falling all around the house, the moment seemed more intimate. He was sitting about a foot away from me, but he might as well have covered my entire left side with his body, for all the good that small gap did. I debated turning the kitchen light on, hoping to dispel some of the tension I was feeling in my body._

_I looked back at him, and he was turned toward me with his legs stretched on either side of me, too long for the short chair he sat in. Hunched over me, he tilted his head to one side and he stared fixedly at me, just taking me in. I swallowed hard and squirmed uncomfortably, but not in a bad way, underneath his intense scrutiny._

_"Might as well learn it right the first time," he said lowly. Again, the tenor of his voice did things to me that I'd only ever dreamed of. Especially after last night's vivid dream..._

_I sighed, shaking my head to dispel the images that were currently trying to break through, and pulled the book back toward me._

_"Okay, so, what's the correct way of saying, 'please, come and sit with me'?"_

_"_Por favor, ven y siéntate conmigo,_" he translated as he sighed and straightened himself up, his eyebrows furrowing as if he were frustrated. He cleared his throat and moved his attention toward the book in front of us, leaning closer to me. "So let's start with the basics. _Hola. Mi nombre es Edward. ¿Cómo se llama usted?_"_

_"_Me llamo Bella. Mucho gusto_."I felt silly trying to speak Spanish. No where near as comfortable as Edward, but he seemed to be okay with how I said it._

_"Good," he complimented. "Now remember, when meeting someone for the first time, use '_usted_' instead of '_tu_'. Especially when speaking to someone older like a parent or an authority figure. It sounds more...respectful."_

_"All right." I nodded in understanding, making a quick note of it in my notebook. He seemed so comfortable helping me study that I just had to ask, "So, how did you learn Spanish?"_

_"_Perdon, pero no te entiendo,_" he commented swiftly._

Show off.

_I lifted my head to see him even closer to me than he had been a minute ago. I could smell him, feel the warmth of his body through my clothes, and I leaned further into him. I don't know where the boldness was coming from, and I knew that he was here merely to help tutor me, but I couldn't help but revel in the electricity between us. I made a show of breathing him in- Gah, he smelled so good- and my eyes caught his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallowed hard. I bit my bottom lip, holding my smile from spreading too widely, and I quickly pulled away as if I had suddenly found something interesting to read in the book._

_"You're such a show-off, such a pain in the ass," I said. I heard him sigh loudly, sensing that he was straightening himself up once again while I pretended to look through the pages. "How do you say that in Spanish, huh? That you're a pain in the ass?"_

_"_Me gustaria mirar a tu trasero hermoso todo el dia,_" he said, huskily, and I wondered if that was really the way to say that. Leaning forward on the table, I looked over to find him staring at my ass, and he just smiled unashamedly._

Brat.

_"Um..." I began to say, looking through the book for assistance. "_¿Cómo aprender español?_"_

_"I had a nanny," he answered, fiddling with the pages of the book, and I sat back on my chair to listen. "Her name was Maria. She taught me and my sister to speak Spanish. So, in a way, she was also our tutor. And when we moved here from Chicago, Maria couldn't come with us. So, my mom took over the lessons. My mom learned to speak Spanish fluently, read it, and write it. After college, she had volunteered to go to Guatemala for a couple of years to help with a clinic in one of the poorest barrios there, and she needed to know how to communicate with the patients there, so..."_

_"Wow, that's pretty selfless," I said, impressed._

_"Yeah, my mom is good at that," he whispered reverently. It was obvious by the way he spoke of his mother that he looked up to her and had an immense respect for her. I wondered, for a second, where his dad was, but kept that to myself before he continued."_¿Por qué quieres aprender el español?_"_

_"Why do I want to learn Spanish? Just in case I should ever find myself in Spain. Don't want to get lost there and not know how to speak the language, you know."_

_"Spain?" he asked, tilting his head in curiosity. "Why Spain?"_

_"My mom wanted to visit Spain, but we just never got around to doing it." I thought back to those times she had mentioned going to different places around the world, always making plans, but never following through. I loved my mom, but she could be a bit of a flake sometimes. "I've seen pictures, though. It's very pretty." I shrugged, wondering if that would ever happen. "Who knows?"_

_"_Llévame contigo._"_

_"What was that?"_

_"Take me with you."_

_I snorted loudly. "Yeah, right."_

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Edward, I've never been east of Albuquerque. Never mind going to the other side of the world."_

_"It's not impossible, Bella," he said, his expression hopeful. "When you do decide to go, let me know."_

_"Yeah, okay," I said, holding myself back from rolling my eyes in front of him._

_It became silent between us as we both just sat back, listening to the rain. As much as the constant rain in Forks drove me mad at times, it was moments like these that helped me relax and made me wish I was under a thick comforter, with a sketchbook in my hand and a fire roasting somewhere nearby._

_I looked to my left and saw him watching me, his eyes roaming all over as if he were trying to memorize me. He sat forward, moving closer, and my breath quickened, my chest rising and falling more quickly due to his proximity. I wanted to ask what was on his mind, why was he looking at me like that. I wanted to crack a joke to break the tension between us. But his eyes had me locked in place, and the only direction I wanted to go to was to him. His lips were enticing, calling to me, and the closer he came toward me, the more compelled I felt to kiss him... hard._

_A loud clap of thunder broke, reverberating throughout the house and breaking the tension between us. He moved back with a look of frustration, once again, marring his perfect features. I exhaled deeply, sitting up straight and searching through the book._

_"Excuse me. Where is your bathroom?" he asked._

_"_Disculpe. ¿Dónde está su baño?_" I translated._

_"No," he said, chuckling lowly. "Where's your restroom?"_

_"Oh!"_

Stupid.

_I looked through the book, finding the word for stairs. "Sorry. Um, _sube la es-escalera, a la derecha?_"_

_I guess I got it right from the smile he gave me when he stood up and looked down at me. "_Gracias. Ya vuelvo._"_

_He walked away, and I turned back to face the table, placing my head on the book in front of me. As I inhaled the smell of old textbook, the aged scent of it made my nose twitch uncomfortably. I sighed, thinking of how ridiculous I'd been acting this entire time: like some crazed fan who had no control over herself. I stood up and walked over to the light switch, and my eyes clenched from the sudden brightness that bathed the kitchen. I took our glasses over to the sink, and began washing them out, sure that he would want to finish our study session the moment he got back. I walked over to the fridge, taking out the left over lasagna from last night, and turned the dial on the oven, wanting to heat up dinner._

_I noticed that he'd been gone a while now, so I put my books away in my bag and went to search for him. It didn't take me long to find him —even though he was nowhere near the bathroom like I thought he would be._

_He was standing in front of my room, curiously looking inside of it, and he looked startled when he heard me approach._

_"Man, you're nosy."_

_"Oh, I'm— I'm so sorry," he apologized, his cheeks turning a nice shade of pink. I giggled at the thought of him blushing, thinking it was something so unlike Edward. "I just, I was just passing by, and that record player caught my eye."_

_"Oh, yeah, my mom gave that to me just before I came here." I stood by his side, careful not to touch him, and my eyes landed automatically on the object in question._

_"Yeah, you don't see those very often, nowadays."_

_"Would you like to take a look?" _Did I just invite him into my bedroom?

_"Yeah, that'd be cool," he said, excitedly, walking into my bedroom without hesitation. He walked over to my record player, tentatively, reverently touching it, as if it were the most fragile thing. He moved his sights over to the stack of vinyl records that were sitting inside a milk crate on the ground next to the turntable. He knelt down, flipping through them and raising his eyebrows, surprised by the selection. I stood by the window, leaning against it, feeling every raindrop tap against the glass. I noticed the rain slow down only a tiny bit, the low thunder was now far away. "Wow, Billie Holiday? Ella Fitzgerald?"_

_I giggled nervously, wondering what was on his mind again._

_"When my mom married my dad, she bought this in order to help with the dreariness of Forks. She used to say it was like having an old friend over whenever she listened to it; that it reminded her of her childhood when she'd spent time with my grandmother, making grilled cheese sandwiches on a rainy day. She used to listen to it all the time. Everything from classical to more mainstream stuff like the Bee Gees. But her favorites were Ella, Billie, Louis Armstrong... She listened to it so much that it kind of stayed with me. When I moved here this year, she handed it down to me, along with a bunch of our favorite records, to help me...not drown in the dreariness of Forks."_

_"What happened to your parents?"_

_"Um..." Well, _that_ caught me by surprise._

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry," he apologized, his eyes pleading as he stood up with a couple of records in his hands. "That was very rude of me."_

_"No, that's okay. I just don't talk about it much. Um, I guess my mom just had enough of Forks. 'Disillusioned' was a word she used a lot," I said, rolling my eyes at the thought of it. "Even when I didn't know what 'disillusioned' meant. So, she packed our stuff, well, mine and hers, and off we went. And my dad, just never... left. Never went after her, after us." I shrugged, not wanting to say anything else because it was bringing down the mood in the room._

_"I'm sorry." Again with the apologies._

_"It happens, right?" The silence grew thick as a different kind of tension, awkwardness, filled the room, and he knelt back down, still looking through the records. After a few moments, he stood up suddenly, and moved toward the player with a black, shiny disk in his left hand._

_"May I?"_

_"Sure."_

_He lifted the cover to the record player and removed the vinyl that I had there since last night. "Debussy?" he asked, surprised._

_"Yeah, it's classical music," I said, walking toward him and taking the record from his hand. I slid it back in its original cover, and bent down to place it in the crate._

_"Yeah, I know. I like him."_

_"Me too," I said, surprised that he knew of him. Most boys nowadays listened to Tupac or Nine Inch Nails. Not that he wouldn't listen to those, but Debussy wasn't something you heard high school boys were into. "I needed it last night –had some trouble sleeping." _

_Dreaming about you, I thought. Of course, he didn't need to know that, or just how far we went..._

_He moved toward the player, bending down to place the record on the base. _Damn, he's got a nice ass_, I thought as he lifted the needle, placing it gently on the edge of the disc. He stood up and turned to face me, a mischievous smile gracing his features. I wondered what he was up to. "Ella Fitzgerald is one of my mom's favorites, too, along with Louis."_

_"Smart woman, your mom," I commented, looking at him warily._

_Oscar Peterson's piano began to play, and my heart melted as it did every time I heard this song. How did he know to play this one? He probably didn't, but with how the weather had been all day and the way he was looking at me, it just seemed perfect._

_"_Ven, baila conmigo, por favor_," he said._

_"Uh, what?"_

_"Come dance with me, please," he said, slowly walking toward me with a predatory glint in his eyes._

_"Hah, you're funny." Not._

_"I'm serious."_

_"I don't dance, Edward," I warned, stepping backwards while he continued to come closer._

_"Really? Why is that?" he asked, his voice low and alluring. Having apparently forgotten the size of my bedroom, I hit my back against the wall, now trapped between it and the temptation before me._

_"I just… I can't. I suck at dancing," I said, trying to convince him that this was a really bad idea. He stood before me, close enough that we were breathing the same air, and the manly scent of him was muddling my thoughts. I gasped when I felt him lift my right hand, the jolt of electricity running rampant through our touch, and I saw him smile, realizing that he also felt it. He placed my hand gently on his shoulder, catching the other one in his as his arm wrapped deliciously around the side of my waist between my back and the wall behind me. He gently pulled me away from the wall and began to sway backwards, as I moved forward, feeling a bit awkward._

_"Well, first of all, it'll all in the leading," he whispered. "And secondly, it's not like we're break-dancing. We're just swaying from side to side." I had to admit that, as much as I hated dancing, he was making it seem easy, effortless. I found myself relaxing into him, trusting him, swaying along with the song while Louis and Ella flirted lyrically to the music. We took a spot in the center of the room, slowly moving, and I wondered if he had ever taken lessons. "See? Not that bad."_

_"Where did you learn how to dance?"_

_"My mom made me do it," he answered._

Mama's boy.

_"I was a clumsy child, always running into things —very rambunctious. It would've been surprising if I didn't get at least one bruise or scratch a day."_

_"Well, I know all about that. It's my special talent, being clumsy," I said. I lifted my arm off his shoulder to show him a bruise I'd gotten a couple of days ago by walking into a doorknob. "See?"_

_"Aw," he lamented, taking my hand in his, lifting my forearm up to his lips, and kissing my bruise. My breath caught when his warm lips pressed gently against my skin, and the feeling of it reached every pore on my body, raising tiny bumps over my skin. His breath came out low and trembling, as he placed my arm back on his shoulder and rested his hand back on my waist. The heat from his palm scorched through my thin shirt, and his eyes didn't move a centimeter away from mine. The penetrating gaze of his eyes was becoming a bit overwhelming, and my eyes dropped down to search for my sneakers. But, I couldn't see them since we were dancing with our chests pressed together. When did that happen?_

_"So, my mom made me take dancing lessons. But it only lasted a little bit. After a ton of hollering on my part, she finally pulled me out of the class."_

_"Mm-hm," was all I could say._

_"You have a lot of books," he pointed out._

_"Yeah, I like to read."_

_"What do you like to read?"_

_"Bronte, Austen..." Some dirty romance novels that seem a bit fantastical but are still addictive anyway. "...Stuff like that." I shook my head and chuckled to myself, wondering why he kept asking me so many questions. What was he trying to find out?_

_"What?" he asked curiously._

_"I'm just trying to figure you out; why you're asking so many questions."_

_"I'm trying to figure you out."_

_"You might be disappointed when you find there's nothing here."_

_"Really?" he asked with disbelief and amusement lacing in his tone._

_"Really."_

_"Were you always like this with the guys in Phoenix?" I looked at him, confused, as he took me a few steps back and turned us around to the smooth beat of the new song that had just begun._

_"What guys in Phoenix?"_

_"The guys you dated." I felt my face warm when he asked of my non-existent dating history._

_"No. I didn't date anyone back home."_

_"I find that hard to believe," he said, pushing me back gently, trying to get me to turn. I awkwardly walked around in a circle and pushed back the long bangs that had fallen in front of my face when I tried to 'twirl.'_

_"Then don't." I shrugged._

_"Their loss," he said lowly, more to himself than to me. I rolled my eyes and put my arms on his shoulders, locking my wrists around his neck and pulling his face just mere inches from mine. It felt as if we'd done this a dozen times before. He wrapped his long arms around my back. One hand rested dangerously close to my bottom, which caused my face to burn hotter this time, and I felt every line of his body moving along with mine. "Bella?"_

_"Hmmm..."_

_"Tell me something that no one else knows," he asked._

_"Why should I tell you? You might blackmail me. You might use it against me in a court of law."_

_"I'll tell you a secret if you tell me one. How's that?"_

_"A secret?" I asked, and he nodded in confirmation. I ran through different things that might seem interesting to him, but came up with none. The subject of my parents was still lingering in my mind, and I decided to talk about them._

_"Um, I never really understood why my parents didn't fight harder for each other," I confessed, and my heart clenched at the thought of it. I hadn't realized how much it still affected me. It had always been in the back of my mind since I was very young, but to say it out loud was staggering. As I thought on this, we both inadvertedly stopped swaying, just holding on to each other._

_"I would've thought that when you've committed yourself to someone like that, that they would become your number one, no matter what or who got in the way. I think that that kind of devotion could break down walls." I shrugged again, thinking back on how everything had changed so suddenly from one day to the next. Maybe it was because I was four years old, my mind still on child's things, but I could have sworn my mom had been crazy in love with my dad. Maybe not, and I had imagined it all along. "It just boggles my mind, you know? I guess that kind of thing happens only on TV. But... they say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. What if...?" I looked back up at him to see him watching me intently. "Sorry," I apologized. "If you don't tell me to shut up, I'll just keep going."_

_"Don't apologize. Thank you for sharing that with me," he said, his voice low and caring, and I rolled my eyes. "No, really. I thought you were going to say that you had webbed feet or something like that." We both laughed as another song began to play, but we stayed rooted in our spots. He moved one of his hands from my waist and lifted it to cradle my head, his thumb caressing my cheek. "But in all seriousness, don't let your parents' choices let you think that that kind of thing doesn't exist. It does."_

_"How do you know?" I asked, both disbelieving and entranced by him._

_"My parents," he answered with conviction. My eyebrows pulled together and I tilted my head to one side, waiting for him to continue. "My dad was in a really bad car accident when I was five; hit by a drunk driver." I gasped, feeling my heart clench again at the news. "My mom had just given birth to my sister a couple of months before that. He's alive, but he can't walk; he's in a wheelchair. My mom had to take care of the three of us. She hired Maria to care for both my sister and me, while she helped my dad, which I'm sure was no easy task. But still, my mom stood by my dad. Even when he'd gotten into this really bad depression, had tried to push her away, she stayed, and they're still together."_

_I felt about a dozen different emotions go through me when I heard him say this. My heart broke for his parents, for the struggles that they went through. I admired his mother's strength. I didn't know the full details of their situation, but from the look of reverence Edward's eyes held when speaking of his mother, I could tell that she was a strong woman, someone who wouldn't let life's challenges keep her from helping her family._

_I also felt a pang of jealousy at hearing this. So, that kind of devotion did exist, just not with my parents. I was sure that Edward hadn't meant to make me feel that way. He wanted to give me hope that I didn't have to fall down the same path as my parents, but still, it hurt somehow._

_"It's pretty cool that your mom did so much for your dad," I said, turning my eyes away from his, suddenly interested in a piece of string that clung to the collar of his shirt._

_"Bella, you're not your parents," he affirmed, and he gently lifted my face, our eyes locking. With his eyes he was trying to get me to believe him, to get me to understand that he hadn't meant it to show off, but to pull me away from that train of thought that I would one day turn out like Renee and Charlie. "Don't let your parents' choices dictate your own."_

_My voice caught in my throat, and I felt tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. My heart felt like it was growing inside of my chest, and I bit my lip to keep it from trembling. I closed my eyes, taking in a large breath, and slowly pushed it back out, working on getting a hold on my emotions. Once I made sure the wetness in my eyes had blended back in, I opened them to see the penetrating gaze of Edward Masen, searching my face._

_"You sound like a fortune cookie," I said, trying to dispel some of the heaviness that pressed in around us at that moment. I had to admit that Edward's words touched me. They sounded hopeful, yet believable, and I was blessed to have him as a friend, even if it would only stay that way. His eyes crinkled as his smile grew, and his laughter was contagious, coaxing my giggles to bubble up to the surface. But soon he turned serious, still searching my eyes intently._

_"It doesn't make it any less true," he said, and we just stood there, taking each other in. Who knew when I would get another opportunity like this? I studied his face shamelessly, memorizing every bump and curve. I was storing it in the back of my mind for times when I was alone and could fill the pages of my sketchbook with him. After a few moments, I caught the movement of his eyes as he looked up behind me. His eyebrows pulled together, and a small crooked smirk appeared._

_"What's that?" he asked, his full attention on whatever was over my shoulder._

_"What's what?"_

_"That notebook..."_

_I turned to see what he was looking at, and my eyes found my opened sketchbook on top of my dresser, along with a couple of sticks of charcoal and colored pencils. I'd left it there last night when my eyes were finally too heavy to stay open, and it had completely slipped my mind that it was there. If Edward were to take my book and see the sketches I had in there..._

_Shit, shit, shit!_

_He let go of me and began to step around me._

_"No!" I shouted. My mind raced a hundred miles a minute in panic, so without much thought, I grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him back to me. I hadn't realized how much effort I had put into doing so until I saw him start to fall over me, his eyes wide and his arms flailing. I was falling backwards, wincing in anticipation of the pain I was sure to feel when I would hit the floor with my back, crushed underneath him._

_Edward, with his quick thinking, pulled us to the side, and we landed on top of my bed, the two of us huffing loudly from the impact._

_"Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, immediately pulling away while trying to remove some of his weight from me. My hands, of their own accord, held him from moving away any further. In a moment of surprising boldness, I slowly moved my leg, inviting him to make himself comfortable in the cradle of my thighs. His eyes widened as he held his breath when he realized what I was asking of him. For a moment, I worried that I might have been reading too much into all the signs I thought for sure were there._

_But then he smiled, and everything seemed to be all right with the world. He grabbed me by the waist, silently asking me to move further into the bed. Once I did, he slipped a hand underneath my head, holding his weight off of me while the other hand remained on my waist, rubbing circles over my shirt. He placed his slender hips flush against mine and it felt as if the temperature in my bedroom had gone up a few degrees. He felt so good, like he belonged there. All strength and hard lines pressed intimately into my soft, supple curves._

_"Yeah, I'm okay. See? I told you I was clumsy," I whispered, noticing that the room had become completely quiet. I guessed that Ella and Louis had already finished singing, and only the strong pitter-patter of the hard rain against the roof played its natural music over us. My breath hitched when the hand that was at my waist slowly ascended, moving up my ribs, the side of my breast, over the curve of my shoulder. His eyes followed the path as his fingers traced my neck, and he smiled when he noticed my throat bobbing up and down, swallowing hard. He pushed my hair behind my shoulder, and his hand came to rest on the side of my face, his thumb rubbing my jaw lovingly._

_I placed my hands on both sides of his face, my left soon moving behind his head to run my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure, and had the room not become so silent, I might have missed the low groan that escaped his lips under my touch._

_"So, what's your secret?"_

_"My secret?" he asked, his eyebrows pulling together despite his closed eyes._

_"Yeah, your secret. Remember? And don't back out."_

_He opened his eyes, and there was such intensity in them that I was tempted to look away, but I knew that I would miss it terribly if I did. He had already infiltrated every part of my being. Knowing there was no going back now, I let myself open up to the possibility of him and me; of us._

_"My secret is that... I like you. I like you a lot."_

_"You like me?" I asked, teasingly. "Well, I guess that's a good thing since we're friends."_

_"No, Bella, I like you more than a friend," he corrected me, moving himself to come eye level with me, and for the first time, I felt him. I mean, really felt him, hard and large against me. I whimpered beneath him, trying my best not to move, or else I'd find myself rubbing up against him. Our melded breaths quickened. After a few moments, he whispered, "May I kiss you?"_

_What were we doing? Just an hour ago, we were sitting at the kitchen table, learning Spanish and walking on egg shells. We kept our distance from each other, a small distance, and even though the attraction to get closer was weighing heavily between us, we never got closer. And just a few minutes ago, as we slow danced, we tentatively held on to one another, testing the waters. But, now we were on my bed as I worked really hard not to rock myself against him, and from the way he kept shifting himself, it seemed he was struggling with the same thing._

_Were we moving too fast? I mean, I've only kissed one guy in my life, and that was on a dare back in junior high. My sexual experience didn't go beyond the occasional need to touch myself, and I had only known Edward for the month since I started at Forks High. We weren't an item. We hadn't even been on a date, for goodness sake._

_Even though my brain was cautioning me to slow down a bit, to let some more time pass by before we got to this part, to protect myself from a possible broken heart, my heart and definitely my body were pushing me to give in. What if I never had that opportunity again, to be like this with him?_

_I hoped that I wouldn't regret giving in to Edward Masen because I would be lying if I said that I didn't want this with every fiber of my being._

_"Please," I begged quietly, my dignity flying out the window. He closed the distance between us as his lips softly grazed my own. We tested each other, feeling first the soft roundness of our lips, the moisture and heat enticing us to go further. He played with my bottom lip, and my tongue stroked his top one, and with one, two, three gentle kisses, he pulled up. I licked my lips as I felt a faint current left behind by his mouth, and he reached up to touch his own, a look of adoration and amazement in his face._

_"Wow," he said, lowly, causing me to giggle._

_"So, you can speak other languages..." I said, feeling as if my face was about to break in half from the wide smile he coaxed from me._

_"Just one other one...for now."_

_"You can dance pretty well..."_

_"Well, I'm no Fred Astaire," he said, his hand still caressing my jaw._

_"And evidently —and I can't believe I'm about to say this out loud— you can literally sweep a girl off her feet," I said, moving underneath him to pull my legs up a little, bending them on either side of his waist. He lifted himself up on his knees and moved further up onto me. The movement, his body pressed deeply against the most heated part of me, sent me reeling. We both gasped in pleasure as I instinctively moved against him, and his hips bucked into me in response before we stopped our movements. "Is there anything you can't do?" I asked, panting._

_"Bella."_

_"Yes?"_

_"I can't resist you any longer," he whispered, his tone serious, waiting for my response._

_"Then don't," I answered, holding his face between my hands to lock eyes with him. I wanted him to see the sincerity of my decision. I just hoped that I wouldn't come to regret it._

_Gaining my approval, he began to move against me. He lowered his face to mine as I propped myself on one elbow, my hand moving back to the nape of his neck and tugging on his hair. The moment our lips came into contact, his tongue slipped through my lips, tasting them as I did the same with his, and soon, it delved deeper into the cavern of my mouth. I moaned embarrassingly loud, and he tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss. For a few blissful minutes, our bodies moved against each other as our mouths did the same, and I pulled away this time as I ran out of air._

_"Would you let me in more?" he asked lowly when he pulled back, and the hope and vulnerability I could feel from him were almost palpable. I pulled his face toward me, wanting to look into his eyes._

_"I want to. Am I going to end up regretting it?" I asked, and now it was my turn to feel vulnerable._

_"I will never let you regret it," he answered firmly, and I let myself hope._

_"Okay. Show me," I commanded, pulling his head toward me._

_"Always," he promised, his arms holding me tightly._

_"_Siempre_," I translated, feeling one of his hands move down, searching for the hem of my shirt and slipping under._

_"_Si, siempre_," he confirmed, chuckling lowly, and kissed me hard, taking my breath away. _

* * *

><p><strong><em>The first song they dance to is "Isn't This A Lovely Day?" by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Beautiful song. <em>**

_**All right. As you see, from the getgo, they were pretty intense about each other. **_

_**Let me know what you think!**_


	3. Salvame de mi

_**I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**_

* * *

><p><p>

**_Saturday, April 19, 1997_**

_The day had started out pretty good. Our __group of friends had been planning for the last week to go to hang out at La Push, and the weather, for once, seemed to agree with our plans. It was surprisingly bright outside, with only a couple of clouds to interrupt the daylight, and it was warm enough to wear a light jacket. I was waiting for Edward to show up as he was __supposed to_ _join us later after he'd helped __his parents out with a few things that needed to get done around the house. I sat __on the blanket, overseeing the ocean with my sketchpad on my lap, as I mapped out the scenery around me, missing Edward terribly and talking to Angela about her plans for the future._

_I had known Angela since my first day at Forks High, and been best friends ever since. She and her boyfriend, Ben, had been together since middle school, which I found surprising. In the wonderful world of high school, it was hardly ever heard of for a couple to stay __together for that long, and even though_ _I admired their commitment to each other, I didn't know if that would be enough once they began living outside of Forks._

_Angela and Ben were graduating this year, but had_ _both been accepted to universities on either side of the country. She was attending UCLA, wanting to major in architecture, while Ben would go to Columbia University for the same thing. They were both book worms that had worked long and hard to get into the same universities, even limiting their choices of what schools they would apply to. The couple had very promising futures, but as much as they planned to attend the same school__, their attempt had not been successful_ _._

_Still, they were both very positive about their future as a couple and had assured each other constantly that things would work out because they loved each other too much to let their relationship fade away._

_"_And you're not worried about how that's all going to work?" I asked, turning my head away from watching the ocean water crash into the high cliffs in the distance.__

_"_Of course I worry sometimes, Bella," scoffed Angela, as she rolled her eyes at me. "But what good would that do me? To worry means that I don't trust Ben, and I do trust him. As much as I love him, I know he loves me, and..." She sighed, shaking her head as if some unwarranted thought crossed her mind, and uncrossed her legs to sit up straight. She stretched her arms high above her head, As her shirt rose up to show a sliver of skin, it caught Ben's attention, and he__ _hollered at the sight of it. Again, she rolled her eyes and turned back to face me. "...And I know, everything will be fine. It has to."_

_It has to. Those three words echoed in my mind as we sat next to the other, each of us in our own thoughts._

_It was a couple of months earlier_ _when Angela and Ben had received their acceptance letters, when she called me at home, crying about it. To me, it had seemed a bit silly that they would actually think they'd go to the same school,that the fates would grant them their wish to stay together._

_But their unreal dreams had planted a seed in my mind, and suddenly I found myself wishing for the same thing. It scared me, the thought of what might happen to Edward and me once we left for college. As much as anybody tried to make a __long-distance relationship work, how many of those __couples actually made it unscathed? As much as I was rooting for everything to work out between Angela and Ben, I couldn't help but feel sad that it might not happen for them._

_But what did that say about Edward and me?_

_In the last two months_ _that we'd been dating, we had grown extremely close. So much so that I felt like half of me was missing whenever we were separated, even if for the shortest amount of time. How would I be able to survive __if we, too, were separated for long periods of time? As much as I loved Edward, we were living in our own bubble here in Forks, and once we set out to different places, there would too much standing in the way of us for him not to drop me eventually. It didn't matter how much he claimed to love me, I would never be enough to hold him to me, and it scared the living shit out of me because I had somehow fallen so absolutely hard for him__ that I didn't know how I would survive._

_But Edward, being Edward, noticed right away that something had been bothering me, and when I finally confessed my fears to him, he just smiled and kissed my forehead._

_"_Is that all?" he'd said as he held me against him in a comforting embrace. "I'm not letting you go, Bella. I would be pretty stupid if I did that. I know you don't know this, because honestly, I thought you would think I was being a bit presumptuous. But,__ _I've already started looking into what the University of Washington has to offer for us both__." At this, __I pulled away from his embrace to look at him, searching for the truth behind his words and finding it. His smile was reassuring, understanding, and heartwarming, and he slightly nodded his head in confirmation. "This summer, before we begin our senior year, we'll make it a trip and visit UDUB. Huh, what do you say?"_

_"_But what if they won't accept us?" I asked, thinking back on Angela and how devastated she sounded over the phone.__

_"_I'm not going anywhere without you, Bella. I promise you. You'd have to get rid of me."__

_My heart melted at the memory of that day, of his promise and his commitment to us, even now as Angela and I sat on the sand watching the guys running around, tossing the ball to each other. Inwardly, I worked to beat down the small voice in the back of my mind that wanted to ruin my happiness, reminding me of the promise my mom had made to my dad once upon a time and how their relationship had failed miserably._

_I didn't know why or how, but I knew Edward's words to be true, and I only prayed that I wouldn't do something to screw it up. I looked down at my sketchbook, flipping through the already-drawn pages, to see the images of him I'd sketched on paper and found the one person that made me feel as if the rest of the world didn't matter, smiling back at me._

_Unfortunately, __our day at the beach was ruined about half an hour later. As the guys kept tossing the ball to each other, Jessica and her friend, Lauren, showed up uninvited and unconcerned with the fact that no one wanted them here._

_Along with the great friends I'd made since starting at Forks High, I unintentionally made some enemies as well— namely Jessica Stanley._

_Her problem: I existed._

_It didn't help that Edward had taken an interest in me when, __just before the holidays, he and Jessica had broken up. They had been together for about six months, but Edward had lost interest in her when he began to realize that they had nothing in common. Unfortunately__, __Jessica didn't take it well, and had been bugging me ever since the moment she had found out Edward and I were together._

_While at first I wouldn't let her bother me, lately she had been pushing my buttons and,_ _for some reason, just the mere sight of her today__ caused my mood to shift for the worse. Still, I held myself back from looking in her direction, avoiding catching her eye, in the hopes that she would keep her distance._

_Soon the guys got tired of playing and settled down around the fire that Mike and Eric had spent close to an hour building. The temperature had already began to drop as the sun set deeper into the west. I was beginning to worry about Edward since I hadn't heard from him since this morning, and there was no way for me to communicate with him._

_We were all sitting around the bonfire at First Beach when Mike suggested that we play "Truth or Dare,"_ _and we began daring each other to do the stupidest shit, just being silly. While I knew that no one would dare me to do something too uncomfortable, I knew Jessica was just biding her time to pick on me, just by the glares she kept throwing my way. As I waited for Edward to finally appear, looking behind me every so often to check for his car, the game continued and Jessica's dares became more... daring._

_"_Bella," she drawled, her crafty eyes set on me. The rest of the group had done their fair share of stupid dares, and they were looking at me to see if I would join in. "Truth or Dare?"__

_As I had been doing since we got there, I looked back in search of Edward, hoping that he would finally appear, but to no avail. "Truth," I answered._

_"_But all you've done is 'truth' Bella," Jessica sneered, some of the other guys nodding their heads in agreement.__

_"_She doesn't want to do a 'dare' Jessica," Angela snapped back, on my behalf. She sat between Ben and me, and she was just as irritated to see Jessica here as I was. "So, how about you get off her back?"__

_"_Angela, stay out of it," Jessica snapped back. "If she's too chicken shit to play the right way, then she can leave."__

_"_No, _you _can go," Ben exclaimed angrily, as he also couldn't stand Jessica. "Nobody asked you to be here. As a matter of fact, what _are_ you doing here? What, you're still so hung up on Edward that you can't move on and like to make everybody else as miserable as you are? He doesn't want you. There, I said it. Accept it. Now you can leave."__

_"Hey, it's a free country," Lauren said, butting in our conversation. "We're free to be here just like anyone else. Plus, it's just a game. What, Bella can't handle a little challenge?"_

_"No, I don't think she can," Jessica chuckled harshly. "Look at how she searches for Edward every five seconds. Sweetheart, stop it before you embarrass yourself any more. I wouldn't be surprised if he were with someone else right now, getting his kicks_ _with them."_

_"Shut the hell up, Jessica," Angela quipped._

_"Seriously, once the whole 'new girl' phase fades away, he'll drop you,__ and look for the next best thing," Jessica said, looking directly at me. For a second, I felt like my heart stopped beating at the thought of Edward leaving, but I worked to keep my emotions in check. "Edward Masen always looks out for number one, and as soon as he realizes you are nothing but a waste of space, you're done for."_

_"You're wrong," I said as steadily as I could, once again, refraining from looking behind me once more._

_"Am I now?" Jessica asked, her tone low and provoking. "Prove it. Prove to us that you are enough to keep Edward around. Choose 'dare',__ and we'll see how amazing you truly are. Because I sure as hell don't see what Edward sees in you."_

_I looked around the group of people and took in the expressions on their faces. They all looked at me expectantly, some with doubt, and some with the hope that I would show Jessica how wrong she was, waiting for me to shut her up. I didn't even dare look to my side, knowing full well that Angela would not be happy about my decision, when I asked, "What's the dare?__"_

_"No, no. You have to choose it first," Jessica sneered, still trying to play games with me._

_"Dare.__" I gritted through my teeth._

_She looked to her left and made eye contact with Lauren, nodding their heads in unison as if they had been planning all along what to challenge me with. She turned to face me, cruel hope in her eyes. "I dare you to go cliff diving."_

_"Absolutely not!" Angela cried out, her hand grasping my arm, as if she could stop me so easily._

_"Why not?" Jessica asked. "It's not like I'm asking her to jump from the highest one." Jessica pointed towards the cliff, where a group of the local kids were currently jumping. "As you can see, there are other people doing it right now as we speak. It doesn't look too bad."_

_"That's stupid. Bella's not going to..."_

_"Okay, I'll do it," I called out, already standing up and moving towards the hill. Behind me, I could hear the whispers of the other kids as some rooted for me and others doubted, suspecting that I would chicken out at the last moment. Angela got up just as quickly, walking behind me with Ben in tow, trying to convince me to forget about the dare._

_"What, Bella, are you crazy?" Angela asked, incredulously. She tugged on my arm a couple of times, but I pulled away from her just as quickly. "You're gonna get yourself killed."_

_"It doesn't look that bad by the looks of those guys, Ang," I shouted, swallowing my fear, feeling the blood in my veins coursing rapidly through my body. My heart was pounding a staccato rhythm, __and the little voice in the back of my mind was begging me to stop, but I kept treading on. "Plus, I know how to swim."_

_"First of all, Bella, those people over there have been doing it most of their lives," Angela yelled back, angrily. "Secondly, this is not the Olympic pool at school. The waves down there are too strong, the wind is picking up, and it's too dangerous. Fuck Jessica! You don't have to prove anything to her. Plus, Edward is going to kill you."_

_"And where the fuck is he, Angela?" I shouted as I stopped abruptly, causing her to crash into me. I hadn't thought of what Edward would think or say if he were here. But, __in this moment, I was just too determined to see this through for me to worry about it, when he wasn't __even here. "Fuck that, I'm jumping."_

_"Hey, Ang, look," I heard Ben shout from about fifty feet away, but I stopped looking anywhere other than my destination as I continued on._

_"Oh, __shit," Angela cursed under her breath, looking at whatever Ben was pointing to, and ran to catch up to me. "Bella, no! Don't do it," Angela begged, as we got closer to the edge._

_"_That bitch doesn't think I have the guts to jump? Watch me," I warned, walking through the trees and stumbling over some fallen branches.__

_I was now within a few feet from the edge, watching the last of the group of guys jumping in the ocean below. I began to peel off my jacket, taking off my rings and bracelet, when I heard a voice call my name from a distance. Instantly, I knew who was calling me, as Edward had finally showed up. I looked down toward __him, and even with the distance between us, he looked both angry and scared,_ _as he began to run toward __us._

_My heart skipped a beat at the sight of him. Even after being together for a few months, he still had a staggering effect on me which left me breathless._

_Still, I kept walking, and when I arrived to the edge of the cliff, I looked down into the dark waters below, stopping for a second before deciding that it was now or never. My stomach was in knots, my body shivering from the cold wind whipping around me, and I spread out my arms, lifted my head, and closed my eyes. Even as I heard Edward's shouts coming closer and closer, Angela yelling for me to stop right now, and the voice in my head warning me that this might be a bad idea, I jumped._

* * *

><p><em>"<em>How could you be so stupid, Bella?" he yelled, the force of his tone making me jump in my seat. "How could you be so fucking careless?"<em>_

_I sat shivering on the passenger seat of his run-down Toyota Camry,_ _which had seen better days. My arms were crossed tightly against my chest__ as I sat hunched over. My clothes were drenched and smelled of ocean water, while the poor excuse for_ _a towel draped over my shoulders did nothing to warm me up. My body shook from the cold dampness of my clothes, __and I cringed with every word that spilled from Edward's lips._

_"_Sorry," I shamefully apologized as I bit my bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "I just didn't think it would..."__

_"_You didn't think of what would've happened if you had died jumping off of a fucking cliff?" he nearly shouted. ___His angry tone reverberated inside his small car, which made it sound louder._

_I couldn't answer him as my body closed in on itself even more, and I turned to look out of the window as we made our way back to Charlie's. Thinking back on it now, it was terribly stupid of me to pull off such a stunt just to prove to everyone, specifically Jessica Stanley, __that I could be brave enough to jump. Why I felt the need to do it was beyond me. It felt so freeing to jump, but the fact of the matter was that I was risking my life, and the lives of others, __through my stupid choice__. I didn't think it would hurt anyone else. I didn't think of the consequences of jumping into rough, freezing waters, that the waves would be too big for me to fight against. And I didn't think that Edward would jump in after me, risking his life as well, just to save me._

_The thought of him putting his life on the line, that I could've been the one to blame had something happened to him, made me cower more into myself as I let my sobs take over me. What if he would've hurt himself, or worse, drowned, trying to save me? _

_Gosh, I was so stupid._

_We finally arrived, Edward pulling __his car into the driveway and __turning off the ignition. We just sat there, each of us in our own thoughts, in the thick silence that enveloped us__. I tentatively looked to my left and took him in from head to toe. His hair was beginning to dry, but his shoulders trembled from his soaked clothes, and he leaned __against the window as he looked out of it. Now he was too quiet, the disappointment in his silence screamed in my ears, and I wouldn't blame him if he didn't think I was worth all of this hassle._

_"I'm sorry for risking your life. I didn't think that you would jump in after me."_

_"Why __wouldn't_ I come after you, Bella?" he asked, his voice steady and calm as he turned to face me. I shrugged, biting my lower lip, and he reached out to take my hands, rubbing them__ _between his when he realized how cold they were. "Come on, let's get you inside. Charlie shouldn't be back for a few hours."_

_We walked inside my house,_ _and_ _with every step we took, he pulled a piece of clothing off of me as I did him, making our way toward __the shower. He turned on the hot water first, knowing all too well that it would take a while to heat up due to the old plumbing in the house__. As the last article __of clothing was pulled away, we stood in front of each other, trembling, and soon the bathroom began to fog up all around us. He took my hand and led me into the shower, before_ _he reached for my shampoo, poured it into his hand, and began massaging it into my scalp. I closed my eyes in pleasure, not holding back the moans that escaped me as his long fingers rubbed gently, his hands cradling my head as it fell back. I felt his lips against mine, and I opened my eyes to see him searching my face. My breath caught at the gentle storm __that brewed behind his eyes, and my heart broke when I realized that the drops sliding down his face were not coming from the shower._

_"Bella," he croaked, his hands holding my head firmly, but not painfully, tilting it upwards so that I could face him directly_— _that I could better understand what he was about to say. "Do you have any idea what would've happened had I not been there in time? Do you know what it would have done to me had I lost you today?" His voice broke, and I reached up to cup his face, my thumbs wiping away more teardrops falling from his eyes, as he did the same with me. The heat in the shower was oppressive, the hot water turning our skin red, but neither of us moved much, with the exception of his loving hands moving all around me, washing me, caring for me. This, added __to the events of today, coaxed a new round of sobs to rip from me, as I felt the weight of both my guilt and selfishness, and his love and devotion for me. What had I done in this life to deserve someone so good? I'm afraid I didn't know._

_For me to make him worry like that, for him to risk his life for me... I simply had no words._

_"Do you know all the __things that went through my mind when you didn't respond to me, as I knelt there, trying to breathe life back into you? It scared the hell out of me to see that your beautiful lips were no longer pink, but blue. And your skin? It was this scary, stark white... You can't do stuff like that, Bella. You can't take yourself away from me like that."_

_"I -I'm so s-sorry," I apologized, gasping for air through my cries. But even though it didn't seem like enough, I would try my hardest to let him know __how truly repentant I was. "That's not what I meant t-to do. I was being so-so stupid. I'm so sorry."_

_"Do you know how quickly I would've found a way to join you?"_

_At this, my heart stopped. To think that there would be __no Edward anymore tore a hole through me, and now I was beginning to see why my absence would be detrimental to him. If I were in his shoes, if the pain itself didn't kill me, I didn't think I would last long on my own. "No, Edward, that would be wrong."_

_"Exactly! Don't ever do that again. Don't you ever try to take yourself away from me again. I can't..." He stopped, and I saw him struggling to swallow hard, as if this were something really difficult for him to imagine. "I can't be here, anywhere, alive— if you're not here with me. Do you understand?" I nodded, as I wrapped my arms around his waist, and we held each other tightly, almost too tightly__, but the discomfort didn't matter. Nothing else mattered, and he continued speaking, as if reading my thoughts._

_"Nothing and no one else matters. It's just you and me, Bella, just you and me."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Sometimes we do things without really thinking them through. <strong>_

_**Review por favor!**_

_**Until next time...**_


	4. Pesadilla

**__**I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**__**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thursday, June 26, 1997<em>**

_"Ugh! This really sucks!"_

_"Mary Alice!"_

_"Sorry, Mom."_

_I chuckled, once again, as Liz and Alice fussed back and forth about the stations on the radio as we gathered in the kitchen. The three of us were preparing dinner at the Masens' home, as we had done all week since Edward and Ed Sr. had been gone, and they were due to arrive in about an hour. Even though I missed him like crazy, I took some comfort knowing that I had someone who shared the sentiments with me. His mom was also missing the two men in her life._

_I admit that I was intimidated by Elizabeth, or as she was known, Liz_ _when I first met her six months ago, as any girl would be when meeting her boyfriend's parents for the first time. She seemed so regal... so very well-educated, well-mannered, and so proper. She was absolutely beautiful: tall, statuesque, with long, wavy bronze hair, and the same striking emerald eyes that Edward had been blessed with. It seemed as if she had taken really good care of herself throughout her years since she didn't even look her age, and she always walked with such elegance, such poise, that I found myself constantly straightening up my shoulders, just so that I wouldn't look like a complete slob around her._

_At first, she was wary of me and my intentions with her "baby"_— _Edward blushed so much when she called him that, that I couldn't help but tease him about it for a week— but as time passed on, we became good friends._

_"But Mom," Alice whined as she stood in front of the counter, tossing the salad in the bowl. "I don't want to listen to the news on the radio. It's so boring."_

_"Where's your Walkman, Alice?" asked Elizabeth,_ _as she washed the last of the remaining pots at the sink, occasionally stopping to watch and make sure Alice wasn't making a mess. "Don't tell me you lost it."_

_"No, I need batteries, and we don't have any more. So, can we please listen to something else?"_

_"Alice!" Elizabeth warned her daughter in her no-nonsense tone. We continued to work in silence as I finished spreading the cream cheese icing on the carrot cake, all of us in our own thoughts. Inside, I was counting down the minutes until I saw Edward again. This was the first time that we were separated for so long, and even though_ _we had_ _stayed in contact throughout the entire week, not having him near me was still unbearable. I was so excited a couple of weeks ago when we finally went to visit the University of Washington that we were truly making plans to stay together even after high school._ _The thought of not going to separate schools was nothing short of an immense relief. Angela and Ben had already packed their things,_ _gone to their respective universities, and seemed to be doing well so far, so I hoped everything worked out for them as well._

_Still, that seed of doubt would always creep in at times when I was on my own. Especially after overhearing a discussion Edward was having with his parents about their visit to Chicago. Edward and Ed Sr. had been planning which_ _places and family members to visit while in Illinois when Elizabeth had suggested they go check out the University of Chicago._

_The University of Chicago was one of the top five law schools in the nation, and his parents could probably help him get in through their connections at the school. Edward's response was immediate: they would not be visiting UofC since he was already making plans to attend UDUB with me. This didn't sit too well with his parents, as they had really high hopes for him in Chicago, but the conversation was cut short when it was time for Edward to drive me home. Since I was eavesdropping, I hadn't mentioned anything about it, but I was glad to see that Edward was not backing out of our plans._

_"Oh, Bella, honey, could you turn that up for me?" asked Elizabeth, and I saw Alice looking straight at me, placing the salad tongs to her forehead, pretending to pull the trigger. I turned my head away from them to hide my smile. Once I turned up the volume, I returned to icing the carrot cake in front of me, as the three of us stood in silence, just listening to the news._

**_"In other news, a woman in Anderson, Alaska was found dead on Thursday morning at a local lake, according to Alaska State Troopers. Thirty-eight year old Sasha Sovolov was last seen leaving her home, and according to Troopers, she was suspected of being under the influence of drugs and alcohol at the time. Sasha Sokolov was found innocent a few years prior on charges of murder against her late husband, Vladimir Sokolov, citing that she had acted in self-defense, but had been on a downward spiral ever since._**

**_"'She used to be so beautiful, very popular around town,' said Waylon Forge, a local fisher and old friend of the family. 'But things were bad when her parents died in that car accident, and suddenly she didn't seem so well. She was constantly in and out of the hospital, and the local bars, even when she was married to Vladimir. Life had gotten too hard on her, on the entire family.'_**

**_"According to reports, Sasha's fourteen year old daughter, whose name was not released, was the one to find her as she had seen her mother walk towards the lake while on her way to school. 'That poor child must be traumatized," said Gertrude Willis, a long time neighbor. "To see her mother fall through thin ice and not make_** **_it in time to pull her out; to see her mother disappear into those dark waters, and not be_** **_able to help her... she must be so devastated.'_**

**_"Sokolov's daughter will become a ward_** **_of the state of Alaska, since she has no other living relatives, and..."_**

_"Oh, my goodness, poor child," whispered Liz_ _, then tisked and shook her head, feeling sympathy for the young girl._

_"Oh, puh-lease," Alice nearly shouted, earning a glare from her mother. "The daughter was the one who pushed her in. Duh."_

_"Alice, what are you talking about?" asked Liz, as she picked up a towel that sat on the counter top, wiping her hands dry._

_"It's obvious, isn't it?" Alice stopped tossing the salad and turned to face us, her hands on each hip as she began to explain her suspicions. "The mom has been known to be a possible murderer, right? And that guy said that she wasn't..." She stopped, to raise her hands and air-quoted. "...'well', as if she had been losing her mind for a while. And the daughter was probably so tired of seeing her mom that way. Maybe the mom was abusive. I mean, she was known to be an alcoholic, which added to the possibility that she was a 'crazy person...'" She air-quoted again. "...And that the daughter was 'the only one' (air-quoted again) to witness her mom 'fall' (and air quoted one more time) through thin ice... Yeah, right. She totally pushed her mom in."_

_"That's it, no more LAW & ORDER for you," Liz declared, taking the tongs and salad bowl from Alice, covering it, and placing it in the fridge._

_"And seriously, I'm sure there's some rule somewhere that limits the use of air-quotes to two per conversation," I said, giggling along with Liz as Alice crossed her arms and pouted playfully._

_"You know, Bella? You and me, we could be the best of friends, virtually unstoppable," Alice said, a hint of mock disappointment in her tone, her hands finding their way back to her small hips. "I know that you're gonna be this big senior next year, and I'm just a little seventh grader, but still, you and me, we could do damage together. If only you weren't sleeping with the enemy..."_

_"Alice!"_

* * *

><p><em>Darkness. All around me. Except for the light coming through the opening above me. Too high for me to reach.<em>

_A shiver ran down my spine, starting a ripple effect throughout my body as it shook with cold._

_And fear._

_Alone. I'd not heard anyone or anything except for my quivering gasps, and..._

_What was that?_

_My heart jumped in panic_ _and was currently beating violently inside of my chest. As if it was trying to knock its way through to flee and leave me behind._

_I felt something tug at my leg as I worked to kick my feet to stay afloat._

_My head whipped from side to side, in search of anything. But nothing._

_Instinctively, I looked down, in search of whatever might be down there._

_But all I saw was more darkness. Deep water blackness._

_Did I imagine the pull on my leg?_

_Up above, through the opening, I saw angry clouds brewing, getting darker by the minute._

_I gasped. I felt again the same pull on my leg. I didn't know whether to be relieved that I hadn't imagined it or freak the hell out._

_I took in a deep breath, filling my lungs as much as I could, and pushed out sound._

_Except I heard nothing. Just my gasps. And the sound of the water trickling as I moved in it. And laughter._

_It belonged to a child. Innocent, pure, eerie._

_It echoed against the walls inside the cavern, and my eyes hadn't found anything but darkness._

_Another shiver climbed down my spine, causing my shoulders to shake. This time, it was definitely in fear._

_Drop. A cold, heavy drop on my forehead, and suddenly all I heard were buckets of rain, splashing onto the surface around me, causing the water to splashing_ _back up._

_Futilely, I tried calling out again. Nothing came out._

_Exhaustion. I was beginning to run out of energy, and again I felt the tug. This time, it was strong enough to pull me under completely._

_My arms flailed wildly, hoping to grab onto something. As if there was any way to hold on to the surface._

_I made it back up, heaving, the ache in my chest growing stronger as I struggled for air, even as the rain tried to drown me._

_Through the rain, I heard a different sound. It was no longer the giggles of a young girl._

_A high-pitched cackle pierced my ears, malicious and vindictive. A woman._

_I looked up and saw her watching me from the opening above. It was hard to make her out as the rain poured into my eyes. But she was there. At first._

_The next minute, she was gone. In her place, the opening was eclipsed with the darkness of night, and now it was undoubtedly pitch black._

_Then, I felt it. It wrapped around my neck and constricted, air cutting off, tendons tightening, eyes bulging, and heart rate picking up faster than it ever had. My hands grabbed at whatever was choking me, my finger nails scratching, digging into its skin, indeed pulling it off its bone. The chunks of flesh I held in my hands were slimy, as if whatever strangled me had been dwelling underwater for far too long. The more I clawed, the stronger it held. My eyelids grew weak, as did the rest of me. Kicking had become too much, struggling had taken what was left me._

_One last shiver ran down my back as I felt its cold, damp breath tickle my ear, groaning:_

_"Doch'ka."_

_I gasped out loud, my chest hurting from the force with which it desperately struggled for air. I sat up, my eyes darted around searching for a way out, and soon_ _I realized that I was back in my room, in the safety of my bed. I screeched loudly when I felt a pair of strong hands clutch my shoulders, and the sudden, "shhh" reminded me as_ _who was here with me. I held my breath, hoping that my scream wasn't loud enough to wake Charlie, and after a few minutes, I sighed in relief that he stayed asleep. Still, the intensity of the nightmare had my heart beating erratically, and soon my tears overflowed, and I silently sobbed, clutching at my chest as if I could somehow keep my heart from escaping._

_The nightmare had seemed so real to me. I could literally feel the freezing temperatures of the water surrounding me, the strength with which the corpse held me, and the downright fear that overtook every nerve in my body. I sensed everything, and I shivered violently, in both disgust of feeling her slimy limbs around my neck and torso and the memory of her groan against my ear, low, gritty and gurgled, whispering something that seemed to be Russian. Where did that come from,_ _and why was it still so prominent in my mind and heart like that? Maybe I'd been watching too many scary movies lately. Maybe it was the news of that woman who was found deep in the waters of that freezing lake. Maybe my mind was bored and needed to be preoccupied with something, even as I slept. I didn't know, but the nightmare was_ _still giving me goose bumps, and I moved in closer to Edward, seeking_ _his comfort._

_"Shhh," he whispered again, lovingly. His arms wrapped around my shoulders, and my body craved his warmth and care, as his hands massaged the back of my head, his fingers tangling through my hair. "It's okay. I got you. It was only a nightmare. Only a nightmare, baby."_

_"Oh, Edward," I cried, still working to remain quiet. "It was... it was…" I trembled as the images of my nightmare still played vividly in my mind._

_"It's okay," he said, his velvety voice soothing my fears away. "I won't let anybody hurt you, Bella. Always remember that."_

_The warmth of his embrace, and his breath tickling_ _the skin of my neck as he spoke words of comfort, kindled a flame within me, and,_ _after a moment, I pulled away from him to see his face. I held on to his hands as I moved to sit in front of him, my legs crossed underneath me, and took him in fully._

_The streetlight that shone through the window lit his face enough to show the light stubble that shaded his jaw, his right eyebrow as it rose expectantly on his forehead, and his bottom lip jutting out, enticing me further. He was as beautiful as he'd always been. His hair was disheveled, and his white undershirt was bunched up around his midsection, the contours of his defined abdominal muscles peeking from_ _underneath. His clothes and glasses were laying on the end table by my twin bed from when he had arrived earlier, shortly after Charlie had gone to bed. I kept_ _myself from smirking as I took in his "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" boxers, with lips printed all throughout. But the bulge that pushed against the fabric as it twitched right in front of my very eyes had me licking my lips at the thought of what I knew was hidden underneath. He had one leg crossed in front of him, the other hanging off the side of the bed. He sat there as his head tilted to one side, waiting for me to say something, his chest rising and falling in anticipation._

_Even in the darkness that surrounded us, even after the all-too-realistic nightmare I just had, having him here with me, holding me safely as the current of electricity that was always present between us ran rampant, made me feel both alive and protected. I would give anything to make sure he was happy. I would make damn sure that if anything or anyone ever dared to stand in his way from being truly happy, I'd be right there to protect him, as he had always done with me._

_"I know," I whispered._

_I let go of his hands, and smiling_ _when I heard him sigh in disappointment. I pushed myself off of my crossed legs and began to crawl slowly toward_ _him, straddling his left leg as it stretched out on the bed. I took his face in my hands, tilting it towards me as my lips descended on his, taking his bottom lip gently in between mine. His tongue reached out and traced along my upper lip, the warmth of it inviting me to open up to him, and I tilted my head to the side to deepen the kiss, our tongues fighting for dominance._

_His large hand latched itself onto my hip, massaging it, roaming down to my round bottom, squeezing it with a firm grip, and I reveled in the way he held onto me. His other hand cradled my face for a few moments before it descended towards the hem of my night shirt, pulling it up and off of me._

_Once the offending garment was removed, my hands moved toward_ _his head, pulling on his unruly hair as I knew he loved, when his lips began moving down the column of my neck, working_ _down toward my breasts. My breath hitched in anticipation the moment his lips surrounded my nipple, and_ _the tip of his tongue fluttered on and around my hardened peak. Noticing the moisture left behind by his mouth on my skin, he blew a gentle breath on it, and a chill ran down my spine, as I felt the warmth of my wetness soak my panties, my body trembling in pleasure from the effect he was having on me._

_From time to time, his eyes searched my own as if he were just fascinated with the sounds and feelings he coaxed out of me with such simple touches._

_But never had his touch ever been just simple. It was one of the most amazing things about him that I would hoped never to forget or take for granted. I hissed at the slight sting of his teeth gently biting and pulling at my nipple, and I caught my bottom lip in between my teeth as his tongue smoothed over my delicate peak. His lips moved towards my other breast, slowly swirling his tongue around the areola, taunting me, before descending towards the underside of my breast. My hips bucked, searching for friction as I felt his lips concentrating on that particular place where he knew I was most sensitive, and my breath caught when I looked to see his lips cradling the weight of my breast in his mouth, occasionally nipping and sucking at the skin there._

_I whimpered when his mouth pulled away from my overheated skin as he turned us around and laid me down on the bed, situating his hips within the cradle of my thighs. He placed his hands on either side of my head, and his eyes locked into my own_ _as if he were intently searching for something. He smiled_ _his crooked smile as if he had found it._ _He lifted his hand_, _his fingers touching my forehead, tracing their way down my temple, across my cheek, caressing my lips, and moving down my chin. My body trembled with both the tenderness of his touch and the intensity of his eyes, and my hips lifted up, seeking him out, needing to feel him against me._

_The hand that was slowly making its way down into_ _the valley between my breasts quickly lifted and held onto my hips to keep them from moving, shaking his head in a silent 'no.' Again, I whimpered lowly, still making sure to stay quiet, but his hand began to move again, this time pulling on the elastic of my panties at my apex, sliding up and down as the back of his fingers teasingly stroked the skin of my labia, too far from where I really needed him the most. He lifted himself up and knelt before me, as_ _both of his hands began roaming my body. He began to speak softly, the tenor of his voice teasing me further with its depth._

_"Cuerpo de mujer..." he whispered, as his left hand covered my breast, massaging it gently, but firmly._

_"...blancas colinas..."_

_His other hand wrapped around my knee, hitching it up against his hip, as it roamed my thigh, squeezing it with conviction._

_"...muslos blancos..."_

_He grabbed onto the elastic of my panties, pulling them off me as I held myself up, nearly crying in need for him. Once he removed my underwear, his shirt and boxers following quickly afterward, he pulled away further as he lowered his face towards the apex of my legs. His eyes never left mine,_ _and I wanted nothing more than to pull his head closer to me, to feel his mouth on me as I felt the heat of his breath hitting my on pussy._

_"Edward, please..." I begged quietly, hoping that he would touch me one way or another._

_Again, he shook his head 'no,'_ _and I bit my lip so hard from the frustration he was building within me, that I almost drew blood._

_"Te pareces al mundo en tu actitud de entrega," he croaked as his eyes looked over my trembling body reverently. Again, I wondered what I'd ever done in my short life to deserve this man._

_He was so close to my heated center, my insides clenching in anticipation as his warm breath reached the moist skin of my lower lips once again, coaxing the warm wetness to trickle out of me. I had no idea what he was saying to me. He could be cursing me out in Spanish, telling me a really corny joke, or reciting the ingredients of a chili recipe for all I knew. But there was something so intimate, so arousing about the way he looked at me, the way he continued to stroke my thighs as the words spilled out of his mouth, that made me want him, no, _crave _him_ _like an addict._

_"Mi cuerpo de labriego salvaje te socava y hace saltar el hijo del fondo de la tierra."_

_Just when I thought he wouldn't tease me_ _anymore, he lowered his head and began to nip and kiss along one thigh, his lips dragging up and down the expanse of it, before switching over to the other, neglected, side, and I closed my eyes to just let myself feel. He was so fucking close that I felt the tears stir behind my eyelids at the sheer frustration I felt, and after a few minutes of biting and sucking along the crease between my leg and my heated center, he finally dove in._

_Even though I had been waiting anxiously for him to touch me, I jumped and opened my eyes in surprise when I first felt him catch my clit between his lips, his tongue flicking against my sensitive nub. "Yes," I hissed, as he finally gave me what I had been begging him for, and my hips bucked for more of his attentions, seeking out his talented tongue, wanting him all over. He placed one arm over my hips to keep them from moving, while his fingers spread my lips apart, and my chest rose and fell rapidly as I fought hard to keep my voice down._

_I gasped,_ _and my breathing picked up speed when he flattened his tongue against my clit, dragging it up and down with deliberate slowness, causing my entire body to shake and my legs to close in around his head, wanting to trap him there for eternity. His mouth latched on to my aching pussy, sucking and tasting me, his long tongue entering me every now and then before returning back to my clit, collecting the juices that flowed freely from me. I couldn't stop the sounds that came from me, and_ _I pulled the pillow from beneath my head to muffle my cries of pleasure while he continued his ministrations. It didn't take him long to push me over the edge._

_As I lay there on my bed, struggling for air, slowly recovering from the intensity of my orgasm, he casually crawled up, his lips kissing_ _along my body, and soon our tongues were moving in synch with each other as I tasted my essence in his mouth. I reluctantly pulled away from him and looked down to see him holding the thickness of his cock in his hand, stroking it as the look of lust made his eyes turn darker. It was one of the most beautiful things I had_ _ever seen, and I needed him in me now._

_"What were you saying?" I asked lowly, as I reached for his hand, pulling it away_ _and replacing it with my own. His beautiful cock was long and warm, hard as a rock yet as soft as silk on the outside, and I pulled him to me as I stroked him firmly in my grip. It was his turn to whimper under my touch, as he positioned himself right at my entrance and began to push in. My breath caught at the intrusion, as his dick slid into me slowly. Once he was inside to the hilt, he began to move,_ _and it was both delicious and pure torture._

_"'Body of a woman...'" he whispered, as he pulled back all the way and began pushing harder into me, setting a steady pace._

_"...White hills, white thighs..."_

_His hips began to move faster as he pulled my legs around his slender waist, lifting my hips off the bed, and he hit that same spot inside of me, which drove me absolutely mad with need. Every nerve ending in my body was intensely aware of his every move. He moved with more purpose, and he covered my mouth_ _with his hand as I began to whimper again. He lowered his mouth down to my shoulder, sucking and nipping at the skin there as he continued murmuring, "...You look like the world, lying in surrender."_

_"Harder," I begged him, as my hand began to drift down towards my center, again needing release. "More, Edward..."_

_"My rough peasant's body digs in you..." he groaned into my ear as he took one hard thrust into me, causing me to bite down on his shoulder from the sheer force of it, "...and makes the son leap from the depth of the earth." He lifted himself onto one arm, as his hand grabbed onto my hip, tilting it upward. He began pounding into me, and it was relentless. My nails dug into the skin of his shoulder while I shoved the knuckles of my other hand into my mouth when his cock began hitting that sensitive spot inside of me over and over again. The sensations of it radiated through_ _every pore in my body, causing my skin to prickle up in goose bumps. We both worked to stay quiet as the sound of his skin slapping against mine took over the silence all around us, his pelvis pounding_ _directly into my clit due to the position we were in. I was never as grateful as I was at that moment that Charlie's bedroom was on the other side of the house._

_"Bella," he groaned when my walls started clenching around him. He slid in and out swiftly, the wetness that poured from me making it easier for him to move within me. My stomach clenched and fluttered with the beginnings of my orgasm, my nipples pebbled, and my pussy quivered around his erection, moving toward release. I held myself up for him as his thumb found my bundle of nerves and rubbed incessantly, the pad of his digit causing delicious friction, and I moaned loudly. He quickly muffled my moans_ _with his lips, as I finally exploded all around him, my toes curling and my nails digging into his skin from the force of my climax._

_As I fought to catch my breath, I looked at him as he moved impossibly faster, seeking his own release, and the sight of him before me was more than beautiful. He bit his full lower lip, the tendons on his neck and arms tightened, and his eyes closed in ecstasy as I felt him throbbing inside me, spilling himself in me, giving part of himself to me. He kept moving, giving me everything he could, and began to slow down once he found release, collapsing on top of my body, careful not to place all of his weight on me. His ragged breath and the rise and fall of his body as he struggled for air was truly magnificent, and it amazed me that I could have this affect on_ _him._

_He moved off of me, laying down on my bed,_ _and pulling me next to him._ _I threw my arms around his torso, and my fingers caressed the skin of his shoulder where I had left a mark earlier. He picked up his glasses quickly and looked through them without opening them, checking to make sure that the alarm was set for five in the morning, about half an hour before Charlie's usual wake up time. We had_ _been sleeping like this several times a week for the last few months since we'd been together, and he always made sure to have enough time to get dressed, sneak out, and run to his car which he would park behind the trees of the forest about three blocks away._

_I was happy to know that he was here for me tonight, not only for the way he touched me and made me feel. But also for comforting me after the vivid dream I had this evening. Even though it was slowly fading away, it was a nightmare I would more than likely never forget._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The poem is from Pablo Neruda from the Twenty Poems of Love and A Song of Despair collection. Very awesome and intense.<em>**

**_What do you think of the nightmare? Of Alice and Elizabeth?_**

**_Leave me a review and let me know what you think._**

**_Catch you on the flip side!_**


	5. El Cambio de Temporada

**__**I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**__**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Saturday, October 4, 1997 <em>**

_It was beautiful outside__, as it had always been in our meadow. But as autumn was coming around the corner, it was becoming unbearably cold for me, and this would probably __be the last time we would come to visit our own piece of Heaven before winter took over._

_When Edward first introduced me to this place, I thought I had entered a fairy tale. It was enchanting. The wildflowers were beginning to flourish in the spring time, with splashes of purple, yellow, and blue sprinkled_ _throughout the green pasture. The light wind that rippled over the tall grass was as if God's own fingers were lightly fluttering over it, and the dark forest that surrounded the meadow__ encased us and this enchanted place protectively, away from any harm the world might throw at us._

_We were sitting on a wool blanket I had brought from home, while my pencil flew over the page, adding __some details to my latest sketch. Two pale bodies, a man and a woman, standing together as his arms embraced her torso and a silhouette of two phoenixes behind the couple._

_Edward, since the moment I first laid eyes on him, had been my greatest inspiration for most of my work, but had never been privy to it__ since I was too shy to show it to him. I loved every single sketch I'd been working on within the pages of my book, but I'm sure in the hands of someone else, especially Edward, it would seem silly and ridiculous. If he ever got a hold of my sketchbook and looked through it to see __how obsessed I had become with him, he would probably be worried about the state of my sanity__ and run. I chuckled at the thought of him__ running and screaming from me. But I had to admit, it made me a bit nervous as well._

_"So, when are you going to let me look at your sketches?" he asked from where_ _he was lying_ _beside me, his black-rimmed glasses in place__ as he held an old library book in front of him._

_"Never," I answered, playfully._

_"Why not?"_

_"It's like a diary, Edward. This is only for me." I had finally finished my sketch__ and closed the book, placing it and my pencil inside of my old book bag._

_"You shouldn't keep secrets from me, Bella," he said smiling at me and_ _placing his book on top of his chest._

_"Those aren't secrets," I muttered, laying down on the_ _ground next to him, shuffling myself into the crook of his arm__ and placing my head on his shoulder. I breathed in deeply, the smell of wet grass, laundry detergent, and Edward filling my nostrils. I looked up to him and __saw that, _ _behind the humor in his eyes, there was something else that I couldn't place. "Those are more like silly thoughts, errant things that run through my mind, which need to come out. Just unimportant, inconsequential things –_ _nothing to worry about."_

_"Nothing is unimportant or inconsequential when it comes to you, Bella."_

_My heart melted, not for the first time, __at his comment, but instead I decided to poke fun at him._

_"You're so corny, Edward," I mumbled, as I tickled his ribs, __and he jumped, pulling away from my fingers._

_"Horny, you say? Yes, all the time." I laughed at him, snuggling in myself_ _closer to him, looking at the book that lay across his chest._

_"Whatever. What are you reading?"_

_"Some poetry for my Spanish class. We have to choose a poem and memorize it because we're going to recite it in front of the class, tell everyone what it means, and what we get from it. So much fun!" he said, mockingly, as he rolled his eyes._

_"Whatever. I'm actually trying to decide between these two right here. One's by this Cuban poet named Jose Marti, and this other one is from Pablo Neruda, the guy I... uh, recited to you the other night," he croaked, his voice low and husky. I hummed __as I blushed and smiled at the memory of that night in my bed, when __we made love, and he whispered those words into my ear in Spanish. "I'm trying to figure out which one I like more, I guess."_

_"Well, what is the Cuban guy's poem about?"_

_"Jose Marti."_

_"Yeah, whatever, him."_

_He sighed, his eyes lifting towards the gray sky above us, looking distant, as if he had been transported to a different place._

_"It's about heartbreak. It's about how you feel when the one you love__ loves someone else. It's about loving someone who doesn't love you, but in no way will you ever __you'll ever stop loving them."_

_He pulled the book off of his chest_ _and began to read the poem, stopping after a couple of sentences here and there to translate it to_ _English for me. I reveled in the hum that vibrated through him as his deep voice read the words off the page, and,_ _again, I thought that he could be reading a Chinese restaurant menu for all I knew. It was still a wonderful thing to behold._

La Niña De Guatemala_ _was about an adolescent girl who lived in a small town, waiting for her true love to return to her. One day, she had been sent word that he had finally returned, but when she went out to her balcony__ _in search of the man she loved, she realized that he did not come alone. He had brought with him someone new, a love of his own. The girl had been so devastated at the sight of them together__ that she killed herself late in the afternoon by drowning herself in the local river. When her body was pulled out of the water, and the doctor had pronounced her dead, he had told the townspeople that she had died from being in the cold waters too long. But the poet himself knew better: she had died of a broken heart._

_As Edward translated the poem, I couldn't help but feel for the young girl when the love of her life had seemingly forgotten about her__ and began loving someone else. It resonated with me for some reason. I felt my heart clench as my mind drifted into her story, and I found myself standing in her place for a moment._

_I wouldn't_ _know what to do with myself should that ever happen between Edward and me, except to never blame him for forgetting me and what we had here._

_It was __the weirdest thing. Before Edward, I was fine. Maybe a bit naive, but I was content for the most part. But the moment he stepped into my world__ and filled the pages in both my sketchbook and in my life with color, it was like I had been on standby my entire life, just waiting for him to appear. If,_ _one day, he should realize how truly inconsequential I was__ and decide to leave, my entire world would turn into a bleak__ and scary place. I might not go to the lengths this young girl from Guatemala took to end her grief, but in no way__ would I truly_ _be alive, and the thought of living a half life __brought a chill to my body._

_"Are you cold, babe?" he whispered, the love and concern apparent in his words. I shook my head "no,"__ but as we both looked up at the sky above, we noticed the clouds turning ominous_ _over us, and we knew it was time to go. We began to collect __our things, making sure not to leave anything behind, when I suddenly remembered something._

_"Hey, did you finish writing the essay you're supposed to send out?" I asked__ as we made our way back toward__ the car, already feeling a couple of droplets fall onto_ _my head.__ _He stopped abruptly, as if my question had caught him off guard.__

_"What essay?" he asked, tensely. He stood in front of me, his posture rigid, apprehensive, looking as stiff and beautiful as the sculpture of David._

_"The one we have to send to UDUB," I responded, searching his face for clues of what was_ _going through his mind. "Why? What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing," he answered a bit too fast. He was quiet for a beat too long before he answered. "Um, yeah, I did. Why?"_

_"No reason," I said, chuckling to break the tension that had suddenly come between us. What was that all about? Why did he seem so anxious all of a sudden? Was he keeping something from me,_ _or was it all just in my mind? "Just wanted to make sure you did, 'cause I already sent mine out."_

_He sighed, his shoulders relaxing a bit from the tension which held him strongly just seconds ago. We began to move towards his Camry__ and threw our things in the back seat. He opened my door for me, as he'd always done, but before he closed it, he crouched down beside me. Even though__ his eyes looked at me, there was a distance in them that I had never seen before, and my heart lurched at what that might mean. I worked to beat down the worry as he took my hands in his and began to rub my knuckles with his thumbs._

_"Yeah, babe, I sent it in last week," he said, enthusiastically, though it sounded a bit forced. "No problems. Everything will be just fine, no matter what." He lowered his lips__ and kissed my hands__ before standing up and closing the passenger door. I swallowed hard at the loud silence that followed the shutting of the door, trying to adjust the lump in my throat that was threatening to make me lose my lunch._

* * *

><p><strong><em>The poem <em>La Niña de Guatemala_ by Jose Marti can be seen on profile. .net/~saraicullen in Spanish, then translated in English. _**

**_Yeah, it's a short one. _**

**_So what do you think so far? Why do you think Edward seemed hesitant at the end?_**

**_Let me know._**

**_Catch you on the fl__ip side!_**


	6. Mi Regalo

**_**__**I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**__**_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thursday, December 25, 1997<em>**

_I was so nervous. My leg was bouncing, my mind was racing with doubts, and I was giving my thumbnail no mercy as I kept gnawing on it. The poster tube that sat on the passenger seat was currently mocking me, as I kept fighting with myself over the choice I'd made for Edward's present._

_It was Christmas, and I was driving my old truck towards the Masens' __home.__ Against my better judgment, I was dressed in a thin green dress, __underneath a red wool jacket, my black scarf wound snug around my neck. My hair was up in a long, curled ponytail, and I was wearing very little jewelry__ since I really didn't have much to work with anyway. But even though I'd __never been one to wear dresses, the moment I opened the gift my mom had sent me from Florida, I fell in love with it and__ knew I had to wear it._

_It was an emerald green satin__ halter_-_neck gown that draped all the way down to my feet, with a thigh high slit on one side and an embellishment of crystals across the bust. I was in awe of how beautiful it was, and the color reminded me of Edward. I had decided right away to wear it for dinner this evening_ _and began to get __myself ready early since I had no idea what I would do to my hair. But now I was wondering if I should've worn it for this evening._

_But really, where else would I wear it? My mom had already been married, so there were no weddings to attend, and, __other than Prom, which I was not looking forward to attending, I had nowhere else to wear it._

_Along with worrying about my dress, I wondered anxiously for the umpteenth time if maybe I should've just bought Edward something instead of what was currently inside the poster tube. Maybe a nice cologne, or a tie? I rolled my eyes at my lack of talent when it came to gift giving. But when you have been given so much, how are you supposed to repay them for everything?_

_Edward and I had made a deal: __for our first Christmas together, we would give each other something that wasn't purchased with money. I felt it would be safe since I personally didn't have more than just a few bucks inside my piggy bank, __and it would balance the gift-giving between him and I, knowing that he might go overboard with his gift._

_Finally arriving at the Masens'_ _home, my old '53 Chevy making enough noise to announce my arrival, I cautiously stepped out of the cab, pulling out the apple pie I'd promised to bring and the poster tube, tucking __it under my arm. I walked carefully, trying my best not to slip on the snow as I looked around at the other cars parked in front of the two-story home. Grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins: all of the Masens'__, with the exception of his __godparents, were coming from around the country, gathering here for the holidays. Edward was excited to see his family, but was left disappointed when he'd heard his godparents weren't able to make the trip to Washington this year. He_ _had been especially excited about introducing me to them._

_Unfortunately, Charlie_ _had to work today for Christmas -__something he had been doing for over ten years- __in order to give the two deputies in his station some time with their families. But it wasn't all bad since we spent time together last night, watching Macaulay Caulkin get lost in New York City. It had been a long time since I'd __seen my father laugh so hardthat he was constantly wiping the tears from the corners of his eyes, and that it __warmed my heart to see him so happy. Even though,__ he wasn't one for expressing his feelings, I knew that Charlie was happy to have me stay with him, at least before going off to college, and __I couldn't deny that it had __been the closest I had __ever felt to him._

_As I approached the door, it unexpectedly opened, and I saw a taller-than-usual pixie, smiling brightly at me in a red dress and gold two-inch heels._

_"Bella!" she shouted exuberantly, and I cringed at the ringing in my ears. I waved my hand at her, shushing her, but it was no use. "Merry Christmas! It's so very good to see you here! You have no idea how incredibly bored I am."_

_"Merry Christmas to you, too, Alice," I greeted, in a much lower voice, hoping she'd take a hint. I handed her the apple pie I'd made from scratch and placed the tube __on the entrance table, while I began to take off my jacket and scarf._

_"Stop monopolizing my girlfriend, midget__," said Edward as he made his way over. He stepped up behind me, helping me out of my jacket as I unwrapped my scarf. I heard him gasp __and I suddenly turned to see his eyes roaming all over me, wide in surprise. I blushed at the way he looked at me, and I had to admit that I stood up straighter, pushing my chest and ass out a little, reveling in the way his eyes seem to devour me. I pushed his chin up with my index finger to close his gaping mouth while_ _I tried to hold in my giggles. Alice couldn't contain hers, and soon we were both giggling as Edward woke up from his trance__ and began to whoop loudly. "Whoo! Baby, did you melt the ice out there when you walked in here? Because you're hot!"_

_He, on the other hand, was positively a-dork-able. He was wearing his glasses, as was usual when he was home, with black slacks and a very bright red sweater, a picture of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer stitched to the front of it. Still, he seemed to be the only person I knew who would wear something so comical and cliché and still look so hot._

_"Again with the corniness," I said._ _I stood on my toes and leaned into him, placing a small kiss on his lips. His arms instinctively wrapped around my waist, pulling me closer to his warm body, and he kissed me passionately, our mouths opening to__ one another the moment our lips came into contact. His lips tasted of some sweet concoction of coconut, cinnamon, what I guessed was rum, and him, and my breathing became ragged as dizziness and excitement took over._

_"Um, ew, Eddie Munster," Alice said from behind me, as she crossed her arms in front of her, interrupting our Christmas greeting and earning a glare from Edward. "Stop sucking face in front of the child. Lord knows I put up with it enough from Mom and Dad."_

_"All right," Edward said as he turned to face Alice."Go take the apple pie to mom. Bella and I got something to do."_

_"No! You can't hog her up all night, Edward," Alice whined, tapping her golden shoe on the wooden floor._

_"Oh, yes, I can." Edward gently tugged on my arm, pulling me away from the front door. I picked up __the poster tube off the entry table and followed him up to the library._

_"I hope you like your presents, Bella!" shouted Alice, as she turned to walk toward the kitchen._

_"Presents?" I asked incredulously, walking beside him. "As in, plural?"_

_Once inside, he locked the door behind us and led me to the couch by the window, a place which had been the scene of __many of our study-turned-make-out __sessions. The scenery just outside the large window caught my eye as I sat down._

_It was a beautiful sight to behold. The grand window to the west displayed the white-tipped trees of the forest, and the ground was covered in soft, downy of snow__, the mountains in the distance standing proudly and protectively behind it all._

_Inside, the room was adorned with colors of deep wine and forest green, the cherry wood on the floor and along the massive book cases complimenting __the coziness of the satin drapes and velvety furniture. There was a warm fire crackling ver on the south side of the room, and the two other walls were filled from floor to ceiling with books of all sizes and subjects._

_I sat down, still wondering why I was apparently to receive more than one gift when I thought we were only giving each other one. He knelt in front of me, still looking me over, and the way that he stared was making me bold. I placed the tube beside me on the couch and waited for him to answer me._

_"First of all, you are exquisite. Just beautiful," Edward said, his eyes locking with mine__ as he held my hands in between his. I looked down as his crooked smile widened, and he lifted himself, kissing me once more."Secondly, Merry Christmas."_

_"Merry Christmas. You still haven't answered my question," I said, crossing my arms in front of me in frustration. But I really wasn't mad. Not when he smiled at me like that, but he was evil because he knew just the effect that he had on me when he smiled like that. "And were you drinking rum?"_

_"Dad's friends from Chicago sent him over this drink called__ 'Coquito,' and he gave me some, as long as I promised him that I wouldn't tell Mom." He chuckled as he sat by my side, putting his arm around me, and pulled me close to him, placing my head on his shoulder. He picked up a red cup out of nowhere and handed it to me, wanting me to taste his drink. There was definitely rum in it, which I wasn't particularly fond of, but the mix of coconut milk, cinnamon, nutmeg, and sweet condensed milk did taste good and drowned out most of the alcohol in it._

_"How many of these have you had__?" I asked, looking up at him curiously. He took a sip of his drink and placed the cup on the wooden table beside the couch. I stared, __entranced by the way his tongue licked the eggnog-like drink off his lips, mine subconsciously mimicking his, remembering how good it tasted when we kissed. His smile widened in a heart-stopping smile when he caught me staring._

_I felt my skin warm under his gaze as I turned to look away. His hand cradled my face, lifting it up to look at him. The pad of his thumb ran gently over my bottom lip._

_It was quiet in the library,_ _with only the sounds of our heavy breathing and the fire that crackled in its place. His arms around me tightened, bringing me closer to him. My heart pounded loudly in my ears as his eyes followed his thumb intently, brushing from one end of my lip to the other, then slowly circling the rim of my mouth. My hand wrapped around the nape of his neck_ _as my fingers ran through his hair, tugging on it gently, and a low growl escaped through his perfect lips._

_He began to lower his head, then hesitated, his eyes still watching my lips as if he were just as entranced as I was. I licked my lips slowly in anticipation of what was to come, and that simple gesture made him snap back from his hypnosis, finally giving in as our mouths crashed together. My lips caught his bottom lip in between as his tongue slid in swiftly, fighting mine for dominance. The smooth, moist skin of our lips slid against each other, the warmth and passion that was __no longer his or mine, but ours, made the temperature in the room higher, even as the snow outside the window covered almost every inch__ of the ground. After a few moments, I reluctantly pulled away, struggling to catch my breath._

_"Only one," he answered, as he chuckled huskily. "Come here, please," he commanded gently, asking me to sit on his lap, __and I happily obliged. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I situated myself on him and gasped when I felt him hardening underneath me. I looked over at the door to the library and saw it locked, but became worried that someone would come looking for us. "Relax," he breathed, his lips kissing and nipping at the skin on my shoulder, and I shivered in pleasure when his hand found the slit of my dress, slowly roaming up my thigh. I kissed his temple lightly as he continued his torture on my skin, and I rubbed my thighs together, seeking some friction. "It'll just be a minute."_

_"Edward," I protested quietly as his hand moved higher between the inside of my thighs, so very close to where I wanted him. My body was betraying my thoughts as my ass rubbed against his rock hard erection, and I fought with myself, wanting so badly for this to continue, but __needing to stop before we were found out. He groaned loudly as I continued to move against him, and when his hand finally found the elastic of my panties, my internal warning signs alerted me, reminding me as of_ _where we were._

_"Edward," I warned, having to muster up enough force to sound as stern. I placed my temple against his as his lips moved to nip at the skin beneath my ear. His fingers slid underneath the cloth covering my pussy, and my hips instinctively bucked against his fingers as I whimpered into his ear. My chest pressed tightly against his as it rose and fell, fighting desperately for air, and my hips kept moving, seeking out more of his touch. His finger found my throbbing clit and rubbed with deliberate slowness, spreading the wetness that was accumulating there. My hands gripped his upper arms tightly as if I were holding on for __dear life, __and I fought to speak out loud, but it was becoming more difficult the more he stroked me, only incoherent moans leaving my lips. My legs opened wider of their own accord, inviting him to go deeper, and he did, as his thumb rubbed my sensitive nub, his fingers entering me and pulling away in a quickening pace._

_"Baby, we..." I whimpered, having trouble speaking. "We have to stop now."_

_"But you're __so close, baby," he groaned huskily in my ear, the tenor of his voice enticing me as his breath blew over the skin of my shoulder, making me shiver._

_Before I could respond or let him finish what he started, we were startled by an __obnoxious knock on the door, followed by the irritating voice of a suddenly annoying pixie shouting from the other side._

_"You guys, are you coming down or not? Mom sent me to look for you."_

_We both fought to catch our breath as he lay_ _his forehead on my shoulder, __and his hand slipped out from under my dress, resting __it on the back of the couch. The tight grip I had on his arms didn't loosen as I swallowed hard in frustration from being so close, but not close enough. His arms wrapped around my waist, as his head fell back, his eyes closed tightly, __and my arms moved to rest upon his shoulders._

_"We'll be right out," Edward called out to Alice, hoping that that would be enough to send her away._

_"Edward," she whined loudly._

_"I said we'll be right out!" he shouted, and I cringed at how loud he was. He looked at me apologetically_ _and we sat there, waiting for her to leave._

_"Fine! Whatever," Alice shouted, causing me to chuckle at her puerile_ _behavior as she stomped her way down the hallway._

_"I'm sorry," he apologized, his voice trembling as he tried to control his own lust. But_ _I felt him underneath me, still hard; __it wasn't going away anytime soon. "We'll finish later when all the children are asleep and the adults are too drunk to notice."_

_"Promises, promises," I half-joked, moving on his lap just to tease him. His hands quickly grabbed onto_ _my hips to stop me from rubbing against his erection, and he looked at me sternly, pleadingly, to stop._

_"Tease," he mumbled through gritted teeth, and tapped my leg, silently asking me to get up. "Okay, excuse me, please." He stood up and walked around the library for a few minutes, mumbling to himself as his fingers pulled on his hair, walking out his frustration. I moved to sit on the couch, straightening my dress and hoping that I didn't look an utter mess when my eyes found the poster tube still lying __by my side. He walked towards the corner of the library, picked up a couple of boxes, and returned to me. Remembering what Alice had said, I waited for him to start explaining himself._

_"Here you go, Bella" he said as he placed two small, wrapped boxes on my lap. "These are from my parents."_

_"Edward!" I exclaimed, looking at him in desperation. "Your parents? Oh my gosh, I can't accept these. I didn't have any money to give them any presents."_

_"They know that. They wanted to do it."_

_"But Edward..."_

_"Bella," he whispered pleadingly, taking my hands in his and smiling at me lovingly. "You're a part of this family already, whether you know that or not. They know about our deal, but they still wanted to get you something." Still seeing the hesitation in me, he continued to say, "They love you almost as much as I do, and they told me that you would break their hearts, especially Alice's, if you didn't accept."_

_Great! They pulled the "it'll break Alice's heart" card. Sighing loudly, on purpose, I took the first present, a long rectangular box wrapped in silver paper with a red bow, and suddenly, I became very nervous as to what this was. I was hoping that the Masens' __gifts weren't too much, as I would definitely have to give them something in return, without Edward's knowledge._

_"Stop over_-_t__hinking it," Edward said, as if he had read my mind. "You don't owe them anything. Just open it."_

_Pulling the wrapping paper__ off and opening the box, I looked into it and had to squint my eyes to read what it said. I began to laugh out loud, knowing well this present was from Alice. Inside was a thin piece of cardboard, a ticket stub, with the words, BACKSTREET BOYS' BACKSTREET'S BACK WORLD TOUR 1998 written in big bold letters._

_Edward laughed along with me, and said, "Remember when you told Alice that 'I'll Never Break Your Heart' was your favorite Backstreet Boys' song? She thought you were serious and ever since then, she's been planning for you guys to go to one of their concerts together."_

_"I _was_ _serious," I said, laughing, smacking him lightly on his arm for making fun of his sister. Every single inch of her room was covered in Backstreet Boys memorabilia. She had posters, magazines, a bed spread with the faces of the band members on it and she was constantly wearing a shirt with her favorite BSB member on it: Nick Carter. I didn't ___know what she saw in him, but she'd always shown a preference to blondes. "I might be a closeted BSB fan, but it'll be cool to go with her."_

_"Well, good luck with that. Now, open the next one."_

_I quickly picked up the next one, not really paying much attention to it as I ripped off the gold wrapping. But when I finally opened it, and I saw what the small box held inside, my eyes began to water._

_"Oh, Edward," I whispered, my voice shaking with the emotions that took over me. Inside the blue velvet box was_ _a small pair of white gold hoop earrings__, with diamonds running down the loop. My hand shook as it held the box, and I was absolutely speechless._

_"Come here," he said, moving to stand up. Seeing that I was still in shock over the gift, he took my hand and gently pulled me up, walking me toward a mirror that sat next to the piano. I stood in front of it and saw that I had ruined whatever makeup I had on by crying like baby, my lipstick missing from our heated kisses. Edward took the small box from my hand and began took __out the earrings, one by one, and slipped them through the tiny holes in my bare earlobes._

_"I don't think the word, 'beautiful' does you justice," he complimented as his eyes found mine in the reflection in front of us. "I can't stop staring at you."_

_When he finished, he kissed my shoulder lightly, lovingly, and slipped his arms around my waist, staring at me as though his words were true. "These are from my parents. My mom said that she couldn't wait to see you with them on."_

_"Edward, this is too much," I mumbled, trying to swallow the huge lump that choked me, still in shock over how much his family had given me. Even if they hadn't presented me with these gifts today, the fact that they had brought up Edward to be the man he was today, the man I loved so much, the man who, for some unknown reason, loved me back, was more than I could ever repay._

_"Nonsense," he whispered in my ear, before staring at me for a while longer. After a few moments, he sighed, looking a bit sad, and I tilted my head in concern, asking him silently what was wrong. "After all this, I'm kind of nervous about the gift I'm giving you."_

_"Please," I begged, encouragingly, and he placed a small kiss on my right cheek, pulling us away from the mirror and towards his piano. He motioned for me to sit on the bench__ as he walked towards the desk and brought back a box of tissues, for which I was grateful, and placed it on the piano in front of me. He picked up a flat box, the size of a thin text book, wrapped in a metallic blue wrapping paper, and sat down beside me on the bench. He gently placed it on my hands. It felt light in weight, and I wondered what it could possibly be._

_"For you," he said, inviting me to open his gift. I looked down to the box on my lap, noticing from my peripheral that his fingers seemed to be moving as if he were playing the piano. Or was it just nerves?_

_"Okay." I began to peel the paper away, timing myself to make sure that I wouldn't rush into it with my impatience or take too long and make Edward suffer. When the last of the wrapping paper fell onto the floor, I pulled the top of the thin box off and looked inside._

_There were sheets of parchment, yellowed and a bit wrinkled, tied delicately by a cherry_-_red__ ribbon. The first thing I noticed was the title of it: "Bella's Lullaby" was written in Edward's neat handwriting in big bold letters__, the initials E.A.M. scrawled underneath. The music notes written within the stave lines looked complex for someone as inexperienced in music as me, but my throat constricted and my bottom lip trembled__ at the thought of how much time and dedication Edward had put into this._

_Then he straightened himself in front of his baby grand, as he blew a deep breath through his lips and placed his fingers on the keys in front of him, turning briefly to look into my eyes._

_"I hope you like it. I love you, Isabella Marie."_

_Before I could respond, he closed his eyes and began to play. It started sweetly, the rhythm of it picking up and then slowing down, picking up again, and then slowing back down. It became more impassioned as_ _it climbed, and danced tentatively at times where it seemed to halt. His body moved along with the music, following his hands as they traveled over the ivory. His head swayed with every key stroke, and his eyebrows pulled together in concentration of the notes he played._

_They went together perfectly, the piano and Edward, and I felt almost intrusive. Almost as if I were getting in between them as they made the most beautiful music together._

_I looked down at the sheets that I held tightly in my hands and just let myself enjoy this most amazing of moments in my life. My breathing accelerated, hitching every now and then as my tears fell freely down my cheeks. I placed my hand above my chest and felt my heart faintly beating beneath my fingers. The melody continued on for a few minutes, and, __even though I had never thought it possible, my love for him grew even more than ever before. Coming to a close, his fingers began to slow, his posture to relax, and when the final notes were played, echoing inside the room, his fingers stayed on the keys as he took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at me. His eyes held so much adoration, so much love, that I was simply too choked up to say anything._

_He lifted his hand and pulled a tissue from the box, gently wiping underneath each of my eyes. He leaned into me and placed a soft kiss upon my lips._

_"I...I...,"__ I stuttered, struggling to find the right thing to say that would help me express everything I felt in me at this moment. I stopped, before I continued to made __a bigger fool of myself, and worked to control my ragged breathing._

_"What are you doing to me?" I blurted out, not knowing where it came from. His face looked sad when he heard me, __and I hurried to explain myself. "I wore this dress, put all this makeup on, which you know I'm not used to, and tried to make myself as pretty as possible, just for you, and now, I'm a mess. Look at me. I'm all red and blotchy, __and I'm sure I look all types of swollen and disgusting, __and all I can think about is that I just...don't know. I don't know how to repay you for everything you've given me, not only today, but always. And now, this? That was... If there a better word, a true way to explain how much more than beautiful that was to me, I would tell you."_

_His breathtaking crooked smile spread widely, and he sighed loudly, his broad shoulders visibly relaxed__. He moved to accommodate himself on the bench, straddling it as he turned to face me. He cradled my face in between his hands, placing another sweet kiss on my lips._

_"I know what you mean." he whispered, adoringly. "Every day I see you, _beautiful_ just doesn't cut it. If there were a way for me to invent the perfect word to describe you, _beautiful_ would seem mediocre compared to it. And that was my way of giving back to __you_, not the other way around, Bella." I blushed, my automatic reaction to anything Edward, and tried to look the other way, but he wouldn't have any of that. "Please don't doubt my words; trust me."__

_He leaned into me as we began to kiss gently, our lips grazing against each __other, and I wondered when I would hear my lullaby again. After a few moments, we pulled away from each other, and I remembered that I, too, had a gift to give for Christmas. Again, __my insecurities came out, screaming at me that what I had chosen to give him was absolutely lame and absurd. Even though I knew that Edward would never say anything bad about my gift to him, I was still extremely apprehensive, and I was seriously debating on asking him for an I.O.U. He took the box that held the music sheets from my hands and placed it on the shiny black top of the piano before taking my hands in between his. He kissed my knuckles, __and I looked at him and giggled at the sight of him smiling at me like a kid at __Christmas, which I guessed made sense. I just hoped with all my heart that he wouldn't be disappointed._

_I sighed as I stood up from the bench and walked toward the couch, where the poster tube was. I picked it up and stood there, lightly tossing it from hand to hand, gathering enough courage to push me through this. I __thought back to how nervous he was right before giving me his gift just a few minutes ago. I walked back to him, sitting beside him, and handed over the tube. It was roughly the size of my arm, and it was wrapped in paper with little snowmen printed all over, and I internally rolled my eyes at the choice of paper I had made __for his gift. Before he could open it, I stopped him to say something._

_"I just wanted to let you know that if you don't like this present, I will completely understand. As a matter of fact, I will owe you something else. I have no problem with getting you something else. I probably should've given you something else. Like cologne, or socks. I'm sure you need socks. But socks are not romantic. So, maybe not socks..."_

_"Bella?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"I love you. Shut up."_

_"Okay."_

_"Bella?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Why are you closing your eyes?"_

_"Because you closed your eyes when you gave me your gift."_

_"Okay," he responded as he chuckled lowly. I huffed, trying to figure out what was so funny, when I heard him rip the paper off in one swift movement. I guess he had no shame in showing how impatient he was to see my present._

_Then, it became extremely quiet._

_The silence between us was deafening as I waited with baited breath for him to react in some way to what was inside the poster tube, even as I pressed my eyes tightly shut. After a few long moments, I gave in and opened one eye to look in his direction._

_On his lap, he was holding in both hands a long piece of loose canvas, the size of a large movie poster, with the corners curled inwardly as he stretched it, studying it. His thick eyebrows were pulled together, and I didn't know what to make of his expression as his eyes roamed over the painting._

_Finally, after what seemed like forever, he looked up, startled, as if he had temporarily forgotten where he was or who he was with, and I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Still, his eyes went from looking toward me to studying the painting before him and back up again, for a few moments longer._

_"Bella," he croaked, still distracted by the painting in his hands. "This is just... wow. I mean, wow. What is this supposed to be?"_

_I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in and closed my eyes again, trying to find a way to explain what this painting meant._

_Suddenly, __he stood up from the bench, reaching out his hand to help me up as well, and led us toward the large window of the library. Outside, it seemed to be getting darker, the snow on the ground slowly shading from the lack of light. Still, it was a beautiful sight to see, and I was momentarily distracted by it._

_"Bella," he called gently, bringing my attention back to him. There he stood by my side, still stretching the painting in front of him, trying to get some of the light from outside to illuminate it. "Tell me."_

_"It's just a painting, Edward," I mumbled, looking down at my intertwined hands as my fingers fiddled together. It wasn't that I was trying to be difficult. It's that I wasn't comfortable with opening up to anyone about my work. It was kind of a window into my innermost thoughts, and every thought I had nowadays was completely and utterly about Edward._

_He was my muse and __as flattering as that might be to some people, it could seem obsessive to him, especially when he didn't know he was the inspiration for __all of my work. It seemed that every page in_ _my sketchbooks was_ _filled with him. His every body part, every shape, every line and curve, every imperfection that seemed perfect to me, even the most intimate parts_ _— were all in my books. I had already gone through five sketchbooks, and was_ _currently on the sixth, __with everything Edward, and I didn't know how he would react to it all, should I open myself up like that._

_But this was Edward, and,_ _as far as I knew, he'd been completely open and vulnerable with me since the day we first met. He hadn't given me any reason to doubt. __Trust me_, he had said earlier, and just like that day at First Beach, I would jump into whatever might happen, hoping that it won't come back and bite me in the ass.__

_"Tell me," he repeated, and his lips pulled up on one side, a look of hope in his eyes. I looked down at the painting he held in his hands and began to explain._

_"Well, it's about... it's about..." I began to speak, hesitating as I tried to gather the right words to say._

_There was a knock on the door followed by the jiggling of the locked doorknob as whoever stood outside was trying to get in._

_"Edward," called Liz from the other side, still knocking on the door "Are you guys in there? You better not be doing... what I hope you're not doing when the entire family's here."_

_I chuckled as Edward groaned in embarrassment and made his way towards the door, unlocking it, and opening it._

_"Sorry, Mom__," he apologized as he tugged on his hair, hiding the painting behind the door, away from his mother's eyes. "We're in the middle of exchanging our gifts. Can you give us five minutes?"_

_"Two minutes," she warned, holding up two fingers as if hadn't gotten the message already. Her eyes then turned to me, the same penetrating eyes that Edward had, and looked me_ _over from head to toe, smiling mischievously. "No wonder you two have been up here for so long. Bella, you look beautiful." I blushed at her compliment, and I mumbled my thanks from across the room. _

_"Thank you for the gifts, I mumbled, walking a little closer to her and__ hoping she saw how grateful I was. "You really didn't have to..."_

_"Hush, we wanted to," she responded, as__ her eyes sought out the white gold earrings I wore. "But they're lovely on you, Bella. I'm glad to see you're wearing them." I nodded, silently thanking her, and her eyes turned back to her son. She held up her index and middle fingers again__. "Two."_

_"Okay," he muttered, closing the door behind Liz without locking it._ _He leaned against the door, pulled __up_ _the painted canvas in front of him, and looked at it, his eyes taking in every inch of the painting._

_"This is beautiful, Bella," he said, his voice trembling and deep. I walked up to him to search his face for any clue as to what he was thinking, and his voice shook a bit, filled with awe. "Truly remarkable."_

_I looked down at the painting he held__ and tried to find the "remarkable" in it._

_There was a young man looking handsome and striking, naked from the waist up, his features smooth, sharp and beautiful. His bronze hair was wild atop his head and his green eyes__ fierce. His shoulders were broad, his arms and torso were muscular and strong._

_He was holding onto_ _a young woman with long, wavy mahogany hair that fell_ _all the way down to her waist.__ Her body was_ _also shown as naked as the day she was born. Her heart-shaped face__ had_ _soft, ivory skin and full,_ _red lips. She stood with her back against his chest, as his left arm wrapped around her breasts, the other around her waist, protectively. His hands and arms seemed to melt into her skin like candle wax, as one of her hands reached to touch his face, her fingers blending __into him as well._

_Between them, there was no such thing as two, but one. No beginning or end, just them._

_In the background were two large and beautiful phoenixes, one ruby red with emerald eyes, the other was the color of sapphire with dark eyes, hovering over the couple, as if watching over them. Between the two creatures, their red and blue plumage dissolved into the other, each feather melding into a purple hue before transferring back to their original colors._

_The painting itself had taken me close to two months to finish, and regardless of whether or not Edward liked it, this, I could say, was probably my best work so far. But by the looks of it, it seemed to please him, as his eyes kept looking over the painting, adoringly._

_"This was inspired, in part, __by a poem," I whispered, not wanting to interrupt his careful perusal. "I've been reading up on that Neruda guy, and there was one that really got to me."_

_"I think I know which one you're talking about," he said, as he walked to __the large stack of books and chose __one, without even searching long for it. It was amazing to me that Edward, being the seventeen year old boy that he was, was such a fanatic of this man's poetry, but I was grateful that he had introduced me to it. He pulled out the book with one hand, found the page almost immediately, and nodded his head, silently encouraging me to read it._

_I swallowed as I looked down on the words and cleared my throat as I began to read._

_"I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz,  
>or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.<br>I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
>in secret, between the shadow and the soul.<em>

_"I love you as the plant that never blooms  
>but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;<br>thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,  
>risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body."<em>

_I felt him moving closer to me,_ _and his arms wrapped around me, like the couple in the illustration. I felt the warmth of his breath on the skin of my neck as he began placing light kisses on my shoulder, and my heart began to race faster, the hum between our bodies getting stronger the longer he stood behind me. I continued to read for us both with no little effort, as he breathed the words into my ear along with me._

_"I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.  
>I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;<br>so I love you because I know no other way..."_

_"No other way, Bella," he whispered, and I felt my skin warm even further as he surrounded me._

_"...than this," I continued to read aloud. "Where _I _does not exist, nor _you_,  
>so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,<br>so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep."_

_I closed the book and turned my head towards him to catch his lips, and we kissed sweetly, with our lips only grazing each other._

_"Thank you, Bella," he whispered into my ear once we stopped to catch our breath. "Thank you so much for this. I was afraid that you would never show me your work."_

_"I didn't think it would be a big deal," I said as I turned around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck._

_"Bella, if any of your work resembles this, then I'm dying to see it."_

_"I don't know," I said, as I leaning __my head on his chest, once again trying to hide. "You might not be too thrilled with everything."_

_"Bella, if you want to give me something more for Christmas, let me see it all." He pulled back, lifting my head as he cradled it with his long hands and held my eyes with the force of his, his sincerity plain on his face. "Please."_

_I searched his face, as I'd done many times before, and made my decision._

_"Okay. Tonight."_

_"Really?" he asked after a pause, disbelieving, his eyes wide and his crooked smile breathtaking._

_"Yeah. After dinner, we'll go back to Charlie's and... I'll show you... everything."_

_"Okay, then let's go eat before my mother kills us for taking too long. Then, I'll change and follow you home. Is that good?"_

_I nodded as I gulped, anxious about our plans for tonight, and he carefully rolled the painting, pl__acing it back in the poster tube and leaving it in his bedroom on our way back downstairs, where his family waited._

* * *

><p><strong><em>What they wore for Christmas- www . polyvore . comcgi/set?id=39223185 (No spaces)_**

**_The poem that Bella read was another one by Pablo Neruda. Very beautiful, very intense._**

**_So, what did you think of Bella's painting? What else could she have in store for Edward to see? It's all coming around, can you tell?_**

**_Let me know what you think! _**

**_More to come soon!_**

**_Breaking Dawn next week!_**


	7. Tu Regalo

**_**_**__**Happy New Year, everybody! Feliz Año Nuevo! I hope your holidays were awesome. **__**_**_**

**_**_**__**Here's the continuation of the last chapter and hopefully we'll have the next chapter out soon.**__**_**_**

**_**_**__**I'm thinking this will be around eleven chapters and then we'll go back to Anhelo Amarte, the continuation of this story, 10 years later.**__**_**_**

**_**_**__**I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you.**__**_**_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>By the way, this would be Bella's Lullaby from the last chapter. This is not 'River Flows In You" by Yiruma.<em>**

**_www . youtube . com/watch?v=mikudzy6Ddo&feature=BFa&list=PL7B7DFFC1D2D79CF7&lf=mh_lolz_**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thursday, December 25, 1997<strong>_

_"All right, but you can't say anything about it, okay?"_

_"Why not?" he asked, raising one eyebrow. I could tell by the bounce in his step and the brightness in his eyes that he was as excited as I was anxious to see what was on the other side of the door. But I was standing my ground, holding on tightly to the doorknob that led toward the attic of Charlie's house, where I kept all of my work._

_We had planned to leave immediately after dinner, but his extended family seemed interested in getting to know me, and I found out that they were all a pretty wild bunch, but very close-knit. They all welcomed me with open arms, and I felt as if I'd known them all for quite some time._

_Still, once the children were sent away to their rooms to play with their new Christmas gifts and the adults stayed downstairs to dance and celebrate, Edward and I snuck out without anyone noticing, and he followed me back home in his Camry._

_Charlie wasn't due to come home for another couple of hours, which was good because I was already a nervous wreck as it was. To have to deal with my dad as well would have sent me into a panic attack. Ever since I told Edward I would let him see all my work, I had been internally freaking out and, now that we stood at the attic's entrance, I wanted to set some rules for him._

_Yes, it seemed silly of me to ask, but I wasn't sure about what he might think. I wanted to avoid hearing any opinions he had because it would crush me if he didn't think they were any good. If he thought the opposite, I would wonder if he was being genuine, or was just trying to be nice. Or worse, he could seem indifferent to it all. So, I would prefer if he just kept that to himself._

_"Just do that for me, please," I begged._

_"Okay," he agreed, and I heard him sigh behind me as I turned to open the door. Once I flicked on the light switch, we began to climb the stairs as I purposely took my time. I looked down behind me to see him staring at my ass as it swayed from side to side, and he smiled when he realized he'd been caught. Just before we walked into my art room, I turned around to stop him, placing one hand over his eyes and leading him inside._

_In the attic, there was some clutter of paint brushes and newspapers on the floor next to framed canvasses that were propped up and waiting to be hung. On the ground, there was an old bed sheet which had a large rolled up canvas on it. On the other side of the room, there was a lone couch where I had carelessly thrown some of my oil and acrylic tubes along with a pillow and another sheet folded underneath._

_Throughout the room, there were four easels standing tall and facing the window. One had a medium-sized mirror, and each of the other easels held a painting —each one a part of a set I'd been working on for a couple of months. My sketchbooks, both the small ones I usually carried with me to school and the large ones I kept in here, were stacked on top of a card table, the top one opened and the rest closed. The lighting in the attic was pretty dim, and I asked him to stand still and keep his eyes closed while I turned on a shadeless lamp that stood in the corner in order to give the room more light. I stepped around the record player I'd brought up from my room and the stack of vinyl records beside it._

_Lifting the skirt of my dress an inch in order to avoid tripping over it, I picked up some of the mess I'd left when I was here last because I hadn't expected anyone to come here. Trying not to kick the tall cups of dirty water to avoid spilling any of it, I swiftly moved them all, dashing back to the couch to grab the paint tubes and put them in the corner by a small window. I ran back to Edward, working to catch my breath after blowing through the room like a tornado._

_"Remember: no comments," I said as I felt my heart pounding in my ears._

_"Okay," he responded with a loud sigh. I stood behind him as I threw one last look over the room._

_"All right, open them," I directed him. I stood behind him, and I saw his head turn from one side of the room to the other, slowly taking in the space before him. He began to step forward tentatively, looking everywhere, and stepping back as if he didn't know where to start. I stayed back, watching him for even the tiniest of reactions._

_After what seemed like forever, he began to move toward his left, taking in the first canvas. Displayed there was the same ruby and orange phoenix from the painting I'd given him earlier today, flying alone in the near-white sky, proud and mighty. Its wings extended far on each side of the creature as it glided in the air, over the dark blue ocean with the mountains faintly shadowed in the distance._

_He walked closer to the painting and tentatively raised his hand to touch it, his middle and ring fingers grazing over the phoenix's plumage. I wondered, against my better judgment, what he thought of the painting. I didn't have to wait long to find out._

_"Wow, Bella, it looks real, very detailed. Amazing." He turned to look at me and smiled. I didn't move or say anything, but let out a long breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. He continued on to the next one. This one displayed the sapphire phoenix, but it was darkened as it flew far and high in the sky, the bright sun right over it, as if the viewer were watching the creature from the ground. "Wow, that's so cool. I like that," he said lowly as he stood for a few extra seconds comparing both paintings._

_Then he moved again, and I was wracked with nerves as he arrived right in front of the other painting. I moved to the couch, sitting at the edge of my seat with one arm crossed tightly in front of me, biting on my thumbnail as if watching a suspenseful movie. And in a way I was. The suspense was killing me. I wanted to know and not know what he was thinking as his eyes moved over the third painting._

_Again, the ruby phoenix, perched on a mound, in the middle of an enchanted meadow —our meadow— with its impressive wings spread wide. Its plumage was shedding off, its ruby-hued feathers floating in the wind, while its skin was melting like candle wax to reveal a tall, human male: sculpted, defined, and beautiful. The color of the young man's hair was shifting from its former red to a shiny bronze, but his eyes remained the same intense emerald they had been before._

_Edward wasn't smiling any longer. Instead, he took a couple of steps back as he studied the painting before him. My eyes lowered to the ground as my fingers fiddled with the hem of my dress, the thumbnail of my other hand still suffering through my incessant biting._

_I felt my heart pounding in my chest and my throat constricting as I waited for him to say something, anything. Keeping my eyes down, I heard him begin to move, his foot falls shifting toward the left side of the room where the card table was. I looked up and saw him pick up the opened sketchbook that sat on top of the others, and his finger traced whatever was on that page. The room was too quiet as he turned page after page, shifting it toward the light, studying it, and placing the book back down on the table to pick up another._

_He turned to look at me with an expression I couldn't place as his eyebrows pulled together and his lips pressed into a thin line. He picked up the stack of sketchbooks, making his way back toward me, and I felt as if my stomach flipped with each step he took. He sat down beside me on the couch and put all the books by his side, picking up the first one and looking through it. I sat as still as a statue, though my heart was beating wildly inside of my chest. I felt like a duck in the pond: all stillness above the water while its feet moved rapidly underneath._

_"Are all of these of me?" he asked lowly, but it startled me just the same, the attic having been so quiet this entire time._

_"Most of them are," I whispered, picking up one of the sketchbooks that held my work prior to moving here from Phoenix. I'd drawn my mother and Phil a few times, both together and separately, along with a couple of friends and some of the beautiful sights in Arizona._

_I stood up and quietly handed the sketchbook over to him. Tired of the suffocating silence in the room, I walked toward my record player in the mood for Ella Fitzgerald's _Misty_ and placed the needle at the edge of the disc as soon as I positioned it on the base. I sat down on the couch beside him while he took his time looking through every page. For the next twenty minutes, we just sat there as I swayed to the music, which helped me calm a bit._

_The first book had sketches of my mom planting a small garden in front of our quaint home and of Phil during batting practice back in Phoenix. Some others were of different places we'd visited during our road trips along the west side of the country. When I moved here, I made a sketch of my dad in his chief's uniform, and a couple of him and his friend, Harry Clearwater, fishing along the Sol Duc River._

_But then Edward moved on to the next one._

_The first few sketches were done from a distance. _

_Sketches of him sitting at the table with his friends as he ate pizza with a slightly disgusted look on his face. Cafeteria food. _

_Another one was of him sitting on the ground in the library, up against a stack of books while he tugged on his hair in frustration. One of his long legs was bent, the other laid flat on the ground as he held a thick book in his hands, squinting as if he had trouble with his eye sight. Later, I found out that he had forgotten both his contacts and his glasses at home as we worked on a project for Biology class._

_The sketches kept coming. _

_The memory of him in my bedroom for the first time as we danced slowly. _

_Some were of him while he slept, whether at his home or mine. Those were the best opportunities I had to sketch him, and I took advantage of his still form. There was an innocence to him whenever he slept. He looked so young, so carefree— just like when he was a kid according to the family photos I'd seen._

_The next sketchbook went deeper than just scenes of his life. _

_I sketched his hands, the strength that he held within them and the gentleness his fingers expressed every time he touched me. _

_His well-defined abs, the broadness of his shoulders. _

_The light smattering of hair on his chest, his arms, the trail heading south on his lower abdomen. _

_The light evidence of morning stubble on his defined jaw, the small pout he made as he slept. _

_The silhouette of his naked form, hidden underneath the sheets as his long arms were tucked beneath the pillows, his muscular legs slightly bent, and his face turned toward me._

_Whenever he slept face-down, I drew the lines of his back, the curves of his entire form, and there were times when I couldn't help but stop what I was doing and touch him lightly, running my fingers up his spine and into his wild hair. This would wake him up sometimes, which had me shoving my sketchbook back into my book bag in the hopes that he would never catch me._

_The last few were similar to the painting I'd given him for Christmas. _

_There was no defined story, just the beautiful man who turned into the ruby phoenix. Images of his metamorphosis from man to creature, of the phoenix's flight, of his encounter with the young woman with long brown hair and dark eyes. She fell in love with him and could also turn into a magical creature: the sapphire phoenix. _

_These were followed by more images of the two creatures soaring high to the sky together, and of the two lovers embracing while lying on the ground in the meadow they called home._

_Each time they touched, their skin would meld together as if they were melting into each other._

_Their hands clasped tightly together, their fingertips disappearing into one another._

_Her left cheek blended into his chest as they danced under the moonlight._

_The back of his hand faded into her skin as it descended lovingly along her neck._

_His kiss fused into the skin beneath her breast as they made love._

_I felt him gently touch my face, and I hadn't realized that I had closed my eyes. I blinked a couple of times, trying to get used to the light in the attic, and the brightness in his face as he smiled gently down at me. He pulled me up, and guided me to straddle his lap as I lifted the hem of my dress by the thigh-high slit so that I could sit more comfortably. Once settled on him, we were close enough that our breath mingled, and I bit my lip, both from the closeness of our bodies and in anticipation of what he might say. He finally broke the silence._

_"Well, I will admit that it is a bit strange to see myself in those pages," he began to say as his hands rubbed my upper arms, his eyes following the upward and downward motions. He seemed a bit uncomfortable as he sighed deeply, and looked up at me._

_"Look, Edward..." I interrupted and he swiftly covered my lips with his fingers before moving his hand toward the base of my neck, slowly massaging. I relaxed under his touch._

_"Let me finish, please," he continued. "It was a bit strange, but it's amazing, Bella. You truly have a gift. They are so detailed. The colors, the shades. The way their skin melts into each other whenever they touch." He sighed as he smiled, his eyebrows lifting and his eyes brightening in amazement. But after a moment, his expression turned serious, and I reached up to the crinkle of sadness between his eyebrows, trying to smooth it out with my thumb. "I'm trying to figure out why you would keep that from me."_

_"I've never shown it to anyone, Edward," I whispered, leaning into him, and resting my head in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around my back, his hands massaging me through the thin layers of my dress. I breathed him in, his warmth surrounding me, and I closed my eyes, enjoying being in the comfort of his arms. "My parents are the only two people who've seen my work. My dad isn't into art, so he just sees pretty pictures," I said, giggling along with him. "And my mom says she loves my stuff, but you know, she's my mom. She'll love just about anything I do." I shrugged my shoulders._

_"Well, you have a fan in me," he whispered lovingly as he kissed the top of my head. "Please don't hide like that from me again. To see the world through your eyes, the things that go through your head— I want to be a part of that, if you'll let me." I sat up a bit, still close enough to him to feel his breath hit my face, and looked intently into his eyes, nodding in acquiescence._

_"Okay," I said lowly, reveling in the feel of his hands on my back and I reached up to kiss his neck once. "Are you sure you don't have a problem with some of the stuff you've seen? I mean, some of it is pretty intimate."_

_"Not really," he answered, his eyes still connected to mine. "I see the way you love me, love us through your art. If I had a talent like yours, I'd draw you, day and night." His eyes roamed over me, from my face to my shoulders, down my torso, taking me in as fully as he could, while his hands moved to my hips, grabbing and squeezing strongly. I felt him grow hard underneath me, and the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach caused me to buck my hips against him. We both groaned as he helped me move on top of him, and I wet my lips in want, looking intently at his._

_It seemed to me that he was thinking of the parts of me he would choose to draw, and the thought of it made me tremble. "Every single part of you," he said, confirming my thoughts and looking back at me with intensity. For some reason, those last words kindled something within me and inspired me to pick up my sketchbook to start on something new._

_"When you think of the work you create, what goes through your mind? What do you do?" he asked as I reached for my book and found a blank page._

_"It depends on what I'm working on, what inspires me," I responded in a mere whisper. I sat up from him and bit my lip, working up the courage to do what I wanted to do with him. I reached the back of my neck, releasing the clasp that held the top part of my dress. He whimpered at the loss of me when I stood up from him and turned around right between his legs. "Could you help me out?"_

_I pointed to the zipper at the back of my dress as I looked behind me, raising one eyebrow in question. I noticed his Adam's apple bob, swallowing hard as his eyes followed my every movement, and he moved himself to the edge of the couch, reaching up to slowly pull the zipper down. Once that was done, I turned back to face him, slowly removing my dress and stepping out of it. I placed it gently on the armrest of the couch and motioned for him to sit back so that I could straddle his lap once again. I felt the prominent evidence of his arousal the moment I sat down, causing him to hiss from the friction, and it felt so good to feel him hard against the most intimate part of me. I felt the warm moisture that seeped from me begin to dampen the cloth of my panties, and I could swear he could feel it too even through the layers of clothing he wore. I sat back, giving us some space while still remaining achingly close. _

_"I want to do something, if you don't mind," I whispered, pulling up my sketchbook and charcoal in my right hand, deftly undoing the clasp of my black strapless bra with my left._

_His breath hitched at he caught sight of my breasts as if this were the first time he'd seen me like this, and I threw my bra over my dress before picking up his left hand, kissing his fingertips, and placing it over my right breast. The palm of his hand held the weight of my breast, pushing it up a bit as his long pianist's fingers wrapped around it, my hardened nipple peeking through the space between his thumb and his forefinger._

_"Bella," he whispered, sounding both amazed and curious. I shushed him and pressed the charcoal against the blank page, starting the image of his hand over my breast. The room was silent with only the sounds of our breathing. Even though I wanted so badly to toss the book to the side and have my way with him in that moment, I continued to sketch us together like this. I didn't dare look at him as I concentrated on my sketch, but I could feel his eyes boring down on me as his hand stayed obediently in place. His other hand was currently running soft circles along my hip, at times dipping inside the waistband of my panties, teasing me._  
><em>I could have told him to stop. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to concentrate on the task at hand, but it felt too good, and I worked hard to avoid moving against him, seeking the friction I needed.<em>

_With not so little effort, I finally finished the base image I had started. It was his hand on my breast, but our skin was fading into each other, two of his fingers sinking into my skin. I turned the book to show Edward what he had been patiently waiting for, and he studied it as if it were the most complex art in the world, looking between the image I created and the real thing. His hand never left me, but he began to massage it with a gentle, but firm grip. My breathing became heavier as I bit my lip, loving the torture he was putting me through. He smiled that beautiful crooked smile he had especially for me, closing the book after a moment and placing it by his side._

_"You never fail to amaze me," he croaked as his other hand went back to my hip. He caressed the skin over my ribs, barely touching the underside of my breast and descending down the flat expanse of my tummy, tugging on the elastic of my underwear. I trembled under his touch and whimpered when he leaned forward, kissing the skin of my neck, sucking and nipping on my collarbone and moving toward the breast that had been neglected all this time. I bucked against him, and it felt so good to finally get some friction even though I needed more of him._

_I reached down toward the hem of his sweater, lifting it and the button down shirt underneath it, and pulled it out of his pants. He turned his head to look at the time, to see if Charlie would be coming home any minute now, and noticed we still had an hour or so before he came home. We'd always risked moments like these for the sake of wanting to be together, and I'd been patiently waiting all day to have him inside of me._

_I needed him like I needed air._

_Because he wasn't just a part of me. It was hard for me to explain, but to say he was merely a piece of who I was would be diminishing what he truly was in my life. That was the point of my work. We belonged together, and if we should ever separate, it would break me. It would take my heart, rip it through the skin of my chest from behind the ribs where it currently beat, and he would take it with him, no matter the distance there was between us. It would leave me emptied, hollow, and I didn't know how I would survive that._

_Once his sweater and shirt were removed, I pounced on him and kissed him with all my might. My fingers laced in his hair, tugging on it as I knew he liked while my other hand moved desperately over him, touching his arm, his supple pecs, his slender neck, wanting to feel him everywhere at once. His hands held my hips and lower back, pulling me against him as close as we could be. He pulled on the elastic of my panties, signaling for them to them to be removed. I quickly stood up and bent over him, still attached to his lips while I worked as swiftly as I could to remove his pants. He lifted his hips to help me as his hands pulled the offending garment down the curve of my hips and thighs. As soon as I stepped out of it, I straddled him once again, and we both whimpered at the contact of my warm center on his hardened length._

_"Ah, Edward," I cried, feeling him so deliciously hard against the most sensitive part of me as my arousal seeped down along his length. I couldn't hold back anymore. I didn't want to risk having to stop in the middle of this and not finishing what we had both been craving since early this afternoon._

_I pulled away from his lips, mine suddenly missing the warmth of his, and took his erection in my hand, pulling and tugging on him, causing him to groan loudly. His deep groaning was making me wetter still, and I quickly sat up, directed him to my opening, and slowly moved down on him, loving the feel of his cock entering me. His head fell back from the sensation of being in my warmth, and his hands latched onto my hips, hesitating at first before guiding my movements._

_Our mouths crashed into each other as I slowly rode him, reveling in the feel of him between my legs and the tight grip with which he held my hips. My legs were starting to feel the burn from exertion as I picked up the pace, and I held on to the back of the couch, seeking to gain some control. His arm slid up my back, hooking over my shoulder as he held me closer to him, the smattering of hair on his chest lightly brushing against my sensitive peaks. Our tongues twisted, our lips tugged, but as the rhythm of our movements became too much, we pulled away slightly, keeping our heads right next to the other. His grunts vibrated in my ear as I whimpered for him to fuck me harder._

_I squealed in surprise when he abruptly moved to the middle of the couch, still holding me in his arms. He lay down the length of the couch, looking up at me as I sat up from him, slowly moving my hips and placing my hands on his chest to hold myself up. I whimpered loudly at having him so deep inside, feeling his length sliding in and out of me as his eyes roamed over me, devouring me. He took my breasts in his hands and kneaded them, tugging on my hardened peaks, causing my hips to buck against him, bouncing over him and picking up speed. My stomach clenched and the fire inside of me deepened as he lifted up and began to pump rapidly into me, the thickness of his cock hitting me in the sweetest spot._

_"Fuck, you feel so... so good," he cried out, his fingers digging into my hips as he pistoned into me. The tendons of his neck tightened, and his face contorted as he worked hard to keep his eyes connected with mine. With every thrust of his hips, my orgasm came closer and closer, and I fell over his chest, holding on to the armrest above his head with one hand, locking my elbow to keep me in place._

_"Edward, harder, please," I begged as I cradled his head in my other hand and kissed him on the lips. I lifted my hips, kneeling into the couch beneath us to give him more room to move, and move he did. We were getting louder, our time together was coming dangerously to a close, and we were both so very close to coming. His hand crawled over my hip, squeezing between us as he rubbed circles where we were joined, and all of that combined together pushed me over the edge, convulsing around him and calling his name in praise._

_His thrusts were quicker then, pushing harder into me as he sought out his own release, whispering my name in sweet reverence, and with one, two, three more swivels of his hips, I felt him tighten and release inside of me. It was heaven to feel him let go in me, to feel his embrace afterwards as we fought to catch our breath. I lay my head in the crook of his neck as I felt him rub my hip gently and his other hand drew circles on the smooth expanse of my back._

_I sat up, bringing him with me as we sat for a couple of minutes and kissed, our mouths moving in a familiar rhythm. But we needed to get dressed because Charlie would be walking through the door any minute now. I moved myself off of him, feeling him slide out of me, and the absence of this presence left me feeling empty as we pulled our clothes back on._

_Walking down the stairs toward the front door, we held hands, and he would occasionally kiss my lips as if he couldn't get enough. Not that I was complaining. After putting his thick coat and beanie on, he held me in a warm embrace as he whispered, "When you present your work to the world— because it's too amazing to keep it a secret— I'll be there, front and center, as your number one fan, standing proudly by your side."_

_I pulled away from him and smiled, happy to have shown him this other part of me a lot of people didn't know. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I could breathe again. I looked forward to that day with more confidence knowing he would there._

_..._

It was unfortunate that his promise was never kept, just like others he had made to me.

* * *

><p><strong><em>This is Ella Fitzgerald's Misty, if anyone's interested: <em>****_youtube . com/watch?v=rPOlakkBlj8_**

**_So, what did you think of the paintings? I hope you liked that last part. ;) _**

**_Until next time._**


	8. Aceptación

**_Hello everyone! I want to thank you for reading this story. There might not be many reviews but I'm grateful to those who read and for those who review. I appreciate y'all!_**

**_Quick note: Something that was brought up by my two fabulous betas- Just to make it clear, according to the date of this chapter, Angela and Ben are already in college. In chapter three of this story, Bella mentioned that Angela and Ben were going to attend college the following year, making them Seniors (12th Graders). But that also meant that Edward and Bella still had another year left in high school as they were Juniors (11th graders). I just want to clarify that. :)_**

**_I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you._**

* * *

><p><em>Tuesday, March 10, 1998<em>

_Three months. _

_Three months of pure bliss. Edward and I had grown stronger in our relationship, and in my mind, I couldn't think of anything that could threaten to come between us. _

_We'd gone back to the same routine when we returned to school after the holidays. Sometimes we would hang out with our friends on the weekends, visiting First Beach or checking out the latest movie at the theater in Port Angeles. During the week, we'd hang out at either of our houses, doing our homework or studying. But it didn't matter what our purpose was to get together. Our books and things would always end up thrown on the floor, pushed off to the side in our haste to touch each other and get closer._

_But we've had a couple of close calls recently. Charlie would get home early from work when we were there, almost on purpose, just to make sure we were doing what we were supposed to. But by the time he'd make it inside the house, we'd both find our spots- Edward on the floor while I went back on the couch- as if we had been studying the entire time. _

_I remembered once, Charlie had gotten home only fifteen minutes after we had arrived. I had been inching my way slowly down Edward's body, unzipping and pulling him out of his confines, wanting to feel him in my mouth. I was moving my hand up and down his hardened length and seeing his chest rise and fall in anticipation of what I was about to do, when I heard my father's cruiser pull up on the driveway. Needless to say, nothing happened after that, but Edward had to excuse himself and go home immediately, mumbling something about having a muscle cramp in his leg._

_When we moved over to his house, his parents had asked us to stay downstairs to study in the living room or in the dining room in the hopes that we would behave ourselves, as Alice was home at that time as well. Still, Liz wasn't so naive as to think we would never find our way back to his room. The thought that his top drawer was supplied with a big box of condoms, compliments of his mother, was a bit awkward, but we knew her intentions were more for our own protection. Not that we needed them. The moment I knew I was ready to give myself completely to Edward, I spoke to my doctor and went on the pill._

_Today, I'd gone home by myself. Edward was at baseball practice, and I needed to get home and make a phone call. Actually, I needed to see if my phone call to Angela from last week was finally returned. _

_She and I had connected so well since the very first day I started at Forks High, and we'd promised each other to keep in touch when she left for UCLA. For the first couple of months, we had called each other at least twice a week, Ben and I being on the top of her speed dial list. She would comment on how things were so different in California; the sunny days and the different environment, the variety of races, cultures and religions, how everything was so alien to her. She had grown up in this small town, in this bubble of familiar faces and surroundings. But everything there seemed so strange to her, and sometimes she'd call me, crying that she missed seeing Ben and being in the comfort of her home._

_Eventually, her desperate cries stopped, and she seemed to be getting used to life in California. It didn't take long after that for her exuberance to come back. I was happy for her. Ben was as well. They missed each other like crazy, and I held on to hope that everything would be okay with them. _

_But then the phone calls started lessening, and whenever she would finally find the time to speak with me, they seemed hurried; she seemed impatient. I had contacted Ben a couple of times, and he himself had noticed a bit of a change in her. But still, he held on to hope. She'd always been very studious, very dedicated to her education. Her parents couldn't afford her entire tuition, and she needed to work hard to keep her grades up and help get through the year financially. It made sense to me that she would be very busy. But I hadn't been able to speak to her since the holidays. I'd been trying to get in touch with Angela every week without a reply and in that aspect, it had been a long three months without being able to speak to my best friend._

_I sighed, reaching for the phone and realizing the only message on the machine was from some telemarketer wanting to sell some unnecessary crap._

_Remembering that Renee had sent me a letter, I walked outside to the mailbox, pulling out the usual supermarket ads and bills. The heavier-than-usual weight of the mail in my hands caught my attention as I walked back toward the house and halfway up the driveway, I gasped, dropping everything, including my mother's letter on the ground._

_In my hand, I held only one. One I'd been anticipating and dreading._

_My hands shook as I read the words "The University of Washington" in bold, purple letters on the upper left hand corner of the thick, yellow envelope, sent to a Ms. Isabella M. Swan._

_Not wanting to wait any longer, I tore it open impatiently, feeling my heart beat so fast, it felt as if I'd run a marathon._

_As my eyes read the acceptance on the page, the smile on my face grew, and I began to jump for joy at what all this meant, not caring if any of the neighbors thought I had lost my mind. _

_This meant that my hope of staying with Edward beyond high school was finally a reality. All our plans –attending the same school, moving out together somewhere off-campus, and not having miles and miles of distance between us– were finally coming to fruition. Granted, he still hadn't received his letter from UDUB, but they'd be crazy not to accept him. He was one of the top students in all of Washington, and it was no secret around town that there were Ivy Leagues throwing everything but the kitchen sink at him to get him to attend._

_Still, he had declined. Even when his father was patting him in the back and his mother was nearly in tears of how proud she was in that moment, he had said no. I felt bad because I knew he deserved that, deserved an Ivy League like Dartmouth and not just a state university. There was nothing wrong with attending UDUB, but we all knew that was he was worth so much more than that. _

_But I couldn't argue with the relief I felt when he decided to stay with me instead. It wasn't a total relief, but it would be stupid of me to complain._

_Rushing to get all the mail that had fallen on the ground, I ran inside and chucked all of it on the kitchen counter. I quickly picked up the notepad by the phone and wrote a quick message to Charlie that I'd be at Edward's house and that I had really great news to share. _

_Grabbing the keys to my truck and my acceptance letter, I hopped in and drove to school, making my way over to the north side where the baseball fields were located. Jumping out, I ran in search of him, watching the rest of team heading into the locker rooms. Swallowing hard and working to catch my breath,I found him standing close to home base, helping the coach to pick up the rest of the equipment. He was dirty and sweaty and just as beautiful as he'd always been._

_But Jessica was standing by his side. My body tensed, and I felt the hairs on my skin stand at attention. I felt like a cat with its hackles raised, ready to pounce on a rat. She was a bit too close for comfort, even though he seemed oblivious to her, and my eyes narrowed at the way she looked at him with a predatory glint in her eyes. Taking in a few deep breaths, I walked over to them, hoping to seem more eager to share the good news than desperate to get her away from Edward. I wrapped my arms around his waist, catching him by surprise, and I noticed Jessica's eyes narrow a bit when he pulled me closer to him, kissing my forehead, his automatic response to my touch. _

_"Hey, baby," he whispered, causing the butterflies in my stomach to flutter, a reaction that had not diminished even after being together for over a year. "I was just about to call you. The car is acting up again, and I need a ride home."_

_"I could have given you a ride, Edward," Jessica sneered, trying hard to sound seductive, inviting, and absolutely failing. _

_Edward responded with a simple, "No, thank you." _

_I wondered how he never seemed to let her get to him. _

_His carefree attitude was bellied by the force with which he held me because I was very ready to pull away from him and pluck her fucking eyes out._

Bitch, he's mine. Back. The. Fuck. Up.

_If you would have told me a year and a half ago that I'd turn into this crazy, obsessive chic wanting to kick the crap out of any girl who wanted to mess with my boyfriend, I would have laughed in your face. Multiple times. _

_Gee, the things that only Edward made me want to do. I regretted nothing._

_"Anyway, word around town is that you'll be going to Dartmouth," she commented, once again being the nosy bitch she always had been. "Is that true?"_

_"No, I'm going to UDUB." His response was quick, but it held a lot of conviction. Something she didn't seem to understand._

_Her eyes widened, and she gasped loudly as her face was shaded with a red tinge, disbelief marring her features. "To Washington? That's stupid! Why would you do that?"_

_"Not that it's any of your business," I began. "But Edward and I are going to the University of Washington together."_

_"Really?" Jessica asked disbelievingly as she crossed her arms in front of her._

_Not saying a word, I handed Edward the letter of acceptance to read. His eyes widened, and one corner of his lips pulled up in that crooked smile that made me melt. _

_He caught me by surprise when he shouted a loud "Yes!" picking me up as I circled my arms around his neck, our lips connecting with quick, but intense kisses. He was ecstatic, thrilled by the news, and for a moment, we had forgotten that we weren't alone._

_"Are you serious?" she asked incredulously, making us both stop at her boisterous tone. She turned to face him, making it quite obvious that she was done speaking to me, maybe hoping that I would disappear altogether. "You're willing to throw your entire future away for some relationship that might not last more than a few months? Look, Edward, as your friend, I'm telling you she's not worth..."_

_"That's enough!" Edward warned, his joyful attitude instantly replaced by anger, evident in the tension of his shoulders and the frustration in his face. "Jessica, we didn't work out. Things happen, people lose interest. I thought you would have been okay. But now you're starting to sound like a bitter, old woman. Let it go."_

_Jessica just stood there, a little too silent, too still. But I saw the tears that were starting to accumulate, close to spilling over as her bottom lip quivered. My heart broke for her in that moment as I was hit by every memory of her looking at us from across the cafeteria, the way her eyes followed us whenever she passed by in the hallway. She had been pestering Edward and I for over a year now, and sometimes she would get to be a little much. But in that moment, I saw the love she had for him. She truly did fall for him, but it hadn't been enough._

_I was sure that Edward hadn't meant to break her heart or to remind her of it right in that moment, even though, to my own ears, it sounded a bit harsh. But she had been pushing and pushing, trying to get him back in her own way, without success. As the three of us stood in this awkward silence in the middle of the baseball field, Jessica's shoulders slumped and her head dropped in defeat. We had never been friends or had ever spoken kind words to each other. Had it not been for Edward, we could have at least said a small hello to each other in the hallways at school._

_But in that moment, I wanted to reach out to her, to tell her that it would be okay. Irrational as it was, after all she had done to me, to us, she needed a friend, and I could see that._

_Just when I was about to call her name, she sighed, pulling her shoulders back and looking up. The sadness was instantly wiped away, hatred and anger taking their place on her otherwise pretty face._

_"So, the two of you are going to UDUB together," she said snidely, almost in a mocking tone. "I wouldn't celebrate if I were you, Bella, because Edward Masen always looks out for number one. Always."_

_"Jessica," Edward warned, his tone softer than it had been before._

_"It's too bad, really," Jessica continued, the bitterness seeping in with every word she spoke. "I would have loved to see him drop you on your ass."_

_And there went my sympathy for her._

_Quickly, she turned around and ran off the baseball field as Edward pulled away from me and hung the white canvas bag over his shoulder. Reaching his hand out for me to hold and pulling me with him, we dropped the equipment off at Coach Clapp's office and made our way toward my truck. There was a silence that still hung over our heads. For some reason, it made me uneasy._

_Thankfully, the ride to his home wasn't a long one, and the moment I parked in front of his house, he ran toward his mailbox, finding it empty and groaning at the lack of mail._

_"My parents must've gotten the mail already," he whispered, pulling me with him as we entered his house. The silence inside was a clear sign that no one was home, but as we walked into the kitchen, we noticed a stack of letters that had been thrown carelessly on the counter. There, on top, was a large, yellow envelope, similar to the one I had received earlier, and Edward quickly picked it up and smiled his brilliant smile._

_"The University of Washington," he read as he reached for me to come closer. Hopping on to the counter to sit beside him, I waited with bated breath as he opened the letter. "Mr. Masen," he began to read again. "We are pleased to inform you that you been accepted to the University of Washington..." _

_I grabbed him by his uniform and pulled him to me, quickly drowning out the words that he had been reading and slamming my lips against his a bit too hard. But I didn't care. I was so happy, so ecstatic in that moment, I was on Cloud Nine. Every plan we made and every promise was going to come true, and there was nothing and no one that was going to break that. _

_As our lips molded to each other and our tongues danced in a celebratory kiss, he pulled me to the edge of the counter, his hands gripping my bottom firmly, wanting to feel me closer to him. It was apparent by his hardening bulge that he was ready to celebrate. Unfortunately for us, the phone rang, waking us up from our high, and he took a calming breath before reaching for it to see who it was._

_"Hello," he answered, his eyes quickly lifting to mine, widening when he recognized the voice on the line. "Oh, hey, Chief... Yeah, she's here... Want to speak with her? All right, hold on."_

_He handed over the phone and gave me a quick kiss on the lips, mumbling something about needing a shower. I was glad he was washing up. As much as I loved his scent, he didn't smell too nice whenever he finished practice. The thought made me giggle a bit before placing the receiver to my ear._

_"Hey, Dad," I answered, waiting for him to speak. "What's going on?"_

_"I don't know," Charlie answered, sounding a little exasperated. "You tell me. You leave me a note telling me that you have great news, and you're not even here to tell me."_

_"Oh, yeah. Can you come over to the Masens' house now?"_

_"You're not pregnant, are you?" Charlie asked, his tone lighter than it was before._

_"And how is that great news, Dad?" I asked, rhetorically, giggling again like some crazy person._

_"All right, all right. I'll be there in ten." He hung up immediately, and I wondered if he was going to abuse his power as chief of police by using the siren of his cruiser to beat traffic, especially since it would usually take him twenty minutes to get here at his normal, snail's pace._

_It was no more than two minutes later that I heard the front door open and loud, familiar voices coming closer to the kitchen. I jumped off the counter and sat on the stool as Liz strolled in, followed by Alice and Ed Sr._

_"Oh, hi Bella," Liz greeted, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek as she unloaded a couple of grocery bags. I would have liked to help but it seemed they hadn't purchased much. She pulled out a bottle of champagne, placing it in the refrigerator and a small, round chocolate cake that she sat on the counter beside me. Alice gave me a quick hug and then sat on the stool beside me. She slid her headphones on and pressed play on her Walkman. From the way her head was bouncing, I knew she was undoubtedly listening to the Backstreet Boys._

_Ed Sr. moved toward the kitchen table, carefully placing another large envelope on it, similar to the one Edward and I had received, but a just a tad thicker. I was curious as to what that was, but I turned my attention to Liz, who had asked me of her son's whereabouts._

_"Oh, he wanted to take a shower after baseball practice," I answered, picking up an apple from the basket and tossing it back and forth. I didn't know why but I was starting to get nervous, anxious, for some reason. _

_Maybe it was the way that Ed was still holding on to the large, mustard-colored envelope as if his life depended on it. The way he kept playing with the edges or kept running his fingers through his hair, a sign of anxiety I'd seen on Edward many times. Suddenly, a dozen questions flew through my mind as to what that was and why Ed Sr. was so jittery. He was usually a composed, mild-mannered man, quiet in that very wise sort of way. So, it was very strange to see him so... off. Trying to ignore him, I continued to say, "My dad's on his way here."_

_"Oh?" Liz stopped, surprised to hear that Charlie would be coming over. That never happened unless there was a really big reason for him to show up. I wondered if she also thought I was pregnant. She quickly looked up with a worried look on her face, staring at the ceiling. Whether it was to futilely search for Edward, as if she could somehow see through the ceiling, or praying to God that my being pregnant wasn't true, I had no idea. I held myself from giggling once again at the thought that our parents would both jump to the same conclusion. "Is anything the matter?"_

_"Nothing bad," I reassured her and I could have sworn I saw her hold back a sigh of relief. "It's just that Edward and I have really good news and I wanted Char... um, my dad to be here for that."_

_"It's funny you mention that because we have good news to share, too," Liz commented with a hint of a smile. Before I could put any more thought into the weirdness that was going on between Mr. and Mrs. Masen, Edward and Charlie walked into the kitchen together, the two men in my life speaking in hushed voices. __Edward hugged his mother while Charlie shook hands with Ed, sitting on the chair next to him. I walked over to my dad as Edward did the same with his father and we both embraced them before pulling away and standing across from our family. _

_"We have really good news," Edward announced, holding my hand firmly in his, with a huge smile on his face. The look of pure elation in his face coaxed a smile on my own, and I turned to face our families._

_"We're pregnant!" he nearly shouted, earning very audible gasps from everyone in the kitchen. I rolled my eyes, elbowing him in the stomach for pulling such a prank._

_"No, we are not pregnant," I called out, reassuring our parents that it was just a joke. A really, really stupid joke. "Not pregnant at all. Nothing in here," I said as I waved my hand over my stomach, "... in this area, other than usual organs... and stuff." The room was filled with an awkward silence and I wanted to smack Edward in the back of his head for saying something like that. "What are you trying to do? Give our parents heart attacks?" I asked, rhetorically, half-reprimanding my boyfriend. _

_The three of them were still staring at us, trying to figure out if we were really joking. "Really. Just a joke. You know Edward...," I giggled nervously but sighed when __I saw the tension in their shoulders relax, chuckling from the near heart failure they almost received._

_"All right, all right," Edward said. His face turned serious but hopeful. Still holding my hand, he looked over at our parents with a conviction that left me staggered. _

_"We've been planning this a while, as you all know, and today we got confirmation. We have both been accepted to the University of Washington!"_

_"Congratulations!" Charlie called out, quickly standing up to hug me fiercely. Our arms wound around each other as he whispered how proud he was of me. Charlie was the one who knew my doubts about entering UDUB, knew how much I worried about the uncertainty of my future with Edward. Charlie was always a father first, protective and wary of me, especially in the beginning.  
><em>

_But Edward had won him over. Actually, it was Edward and his family who had won him over since they were known around Forks to be really decent people, raising two amazing kids. He knew how much Edward meant to me.  
><em>

_Pulling away from my dad's embrace, I looked to see that neither one of Edward's parents had come over to congratulate him. Edward was standing there, still expecting a reaction from his parents, and I saw the two of them having some sort of silent communication between them as they stared at each other. I quickly glanced over at Alice, who had been hiding in the background this entire time. Her headphones had been removed, and she was looking at her brother with a sad smile. Charlie moved over to pat Edward on the back, whispering a "Congratulations, son," on the great news, and I watched as Alice's eyes turned to me, the same sad smile on her face. I didn't know why or even if I wanted to know, but it was making me anxious._

_"You guys don't have anything to say?" Edward asked finally with a hint of exasperation, cutting through the tension in the room. This wasn't the reaction that he had been expecting from his parents. Finally Liz moved toward her husband and stood by his side, picking up the thick, yellow envelope that had me biting my lip with dread. Dreading what? I was afraid we were about to find out._

_"Well, honey," Liz began, holding tightly on to the envelope. "We have really good news to share as well."_

_"What are you talk-," he began to ask before he stopped himself. His eyes widened in recognition, as if some long lost memory had finally hit him. He chanced a quick look in my direction. It was so fast that anyone else would have missed the apprehension in his eyes. _

_Have you ever watched a horror movie and you knew, whether because of the loud, bloodcurdling crescendo or because of the clichés that get embraced over and over again, that something bad was about to happen? That in that moment, you wanted to cover your eyes and plug your ears, but you had to watch, even though everything inside of you is screaming for you to turn it off?_

_Liz reached inside the envelope, which seemed to have already been opened without Edward's knowledge, and pulled out a thin packet. Walking over to Edward, she handed it to him, and it all seemed to move in slow motion from there. He reached out, taking the packet in his hand and pulling it up to his eyes as if he weren't wearing his contacts and began to read aloud._

_"Mr. Masen," he began to say, his voice shaking as he read. If it were possible, his eyes opened wider and his tone was filled with... awe? Disbelief? Pride? "We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted to the University of Chicago..." _

_"Congratulations honey! We're so proud of you!" Liz shouted, making me jump where I stood. She threw her arms around him as everyone else seemed to shout in celebration. _

_Everyone but me. I just stood there, stunned, not able to move or speak. The only thing I noticed was his face. His beautiful face which held a pride, a sense of accomplishment, a happiness that I had never seen before. He was in awe, but happy, and it was all screaming inside of me as I stood just there in utter shock. _

_Somehow, my mind registered everyone moving around us. His dad moved to shake his hand, pride and elation in his eyes while his mother choked back tears of joy. Alice gave Edward the typical brother-sister half-assed hug, but her eyes found me, her smile fading with sadness in her eyes. Even my dad, once again, patted Edward in the back as Ed Sr. cheered his son on. _

_"Yes, it's one of the top five schools in the nation for law," Ed said, excitedly, looking up from his wheelchair at his son with admiration. "I knew you'd make it in, Son!"_

_"Wow! Well, that's pretty swell," Charlie responded, but his smile didn't reach all the way to his eyes. His hand scratched the back of his head as he stood there, appraising me. "Isn't that great, Bells?"_

_The room became still in both sound and movement as everyone's eyes turned to me, waiting for me to say something. _

_"You never told me," I accused, getting angrier by the minute._

_"That's because I didn't think I would make it in," Edward said. He still stood just a couple of feet from me, but, in that moment, it felt like there was a huge chasm between the two of us. _

_He lied to me. He kept all of this information from me, and he lied! I worked really hard to not lose it in front of his family, but, by the way he was looking at me, it was obvious that he knew he fucked up._

_"You didn't think you would make it in?" I asked, incredulous. _

_"Well, of course, honey, you made it," Liz said, oblivious to what was going on. It was that or she just wanted to stay ignorant to everything. "Oh, tell them, Dear, about the full scholarship."_

_"They're prepared to offer you a full scholarship," Ed exclaimed as if that would make it any better._

_I wanted so badly to be angry at his parents. They knew me, knew our plans to attend the University of Washington, and they still didn't seem to want to recognize what was going on. I wanted to be angry at them for that, for this entire fucked up situation. But I couldn't. They were only driven by the love and pride they felt for their firstborn son. If I were in their shoes, I'd be just as happy for him._

_"Oh, wow! Congratulations, Edward!" Charlie felicitated a third time, but refrained himself from patting him in the back once again._

_"Excuse me," I uttered quietly, backing away quickly and leaving the house through the kitchen door. I heard Edward shouting my name, but I kept moving, quickening my pace as I half-walked, half-ran toward the front of the house where my truck was parked._

_"Bella, wait!" he called out, his long legs helping him to catch up to me quickly. Just a couple of feet away from my truck, I turned around because I was a sap for him. Though I was so pissed at him, he still had that effect on me._

_"How could you lie to me, Edward?" I nearly shouted._

_"I'm sorry," he implored, his face twisted in both regret and sorrow. "I didn't think I would actually make it in."_

_"You didn't think you'd make it in?" I asked incredulously, for the second time. Did I really look that dumb? "One of the top students in the state of Washington, and you didn't think you'd make it? You know, for someone so brilliant, you can be so fucking stupid."_

_"Bella, please..."_

_"How could you lie to me? How am I supposed to compete with a full ride to one of the top schools in the country, a school your parents have been planning for you to attend since your birth?"_

_"But I made you a promise that I would go to UDUB with you. There is no competition. You're what I want."_

_Truly, I must have looked dumb._

_"Edward, your parents are celebrating, probably opening up that expensive-looking champagne because you got in! Hell, my father's right in there with them. There is a huge chance that you'll get a full ride to Chicago..."_

_"Bella...," he cried, reaching out for me, but I backed away. I might have been giving him the chance to explain, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let him touch me. I would not be able to handle that._

_"You should have seen the look on your face when you read the letter," I whispered, my voice shaking with the heaviness of everything that I was feeling at that moment. Wiping an errant tear from my cheek, I cleared my throat to continue. _

_"It didn't last long. If I weren't for the fact that I'm so in tune with you, I might have missed it. But it was there. It was pride? Happiness? All I know is that I have never seen your eyes grow so big like that. Ever! You don't know all the thoughts that are going through me right now. I'm so happy for you, so proud of you. This is truly amazing." _

_My right hand continued to wipe away the drops that fell from my eyes as I tried hard not to lose it completely before letting him just how much all this was hurting me. _

_"But I'm so fucking mad at you, so... disappointed." _

_At hearing that last word, Edward's shoulders dropped in defeat. Because if there was one thing that Edward wouldn't want to do, it would be to disappoint me. He never had before, but now that he knew what it felt like, he could blame no one but himself. _

_"Not only because you kept this amazing thing a secret when you've told me to always be open with you, but also because you really think so little of me, that I'd be crazy enough to get in the way of this most amazing opportunity. This amazing future..."_

_"But I will have an amazing future," he begged me to see it his way. "It's with you."_

_No, it wasn't, I thought to myself. I wouldn't stand in the way of him having the best chance at a great life. _

_I was tired –emotionally and physically drained. I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to stand there and look at his pitiful face, waiting for me to say that everything was going to be okay. I just wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and hide away from everything. _

_I didn't know if I was going to cry until my eyes gave up or if I was going to go through every detail of this whole messed-up thing, wondering when and how did I miss all this. How I could I've been stupid enough to fall for all of this? But I had to leave. I needed to walk away before I let it consume me completely right in front of him._

_"I'm going home, Edward," I whispered, the emotionless tone belying the tears that traitorously escaped. "I'm tired."_

_"I'll take you home," he offered, seeming hopeful to get more time to speak with me. _

_"We came in my truck, remember? Charlie's got the cruiser. He'll get home on his own."_

_"Bella...," he croaked, reaching up once again to touch me, his face filled with sorrow, regret. _

_"Give me some time, Edward, to... let it all sink in," I said as I continued to back away. Hopping into my truck, my heart clenched at the thought of how amazing this day had started out to be –getting into this very cab, searching for him at school and giving him the good news– and how it all was shot to hell in a matter of minutes. _

_Placing my key in the ignition and working hard to ignore him, I saw him approaching the cab from my periphery. He didn't dare touch me, and for that I was thankful. Still, it wasn't necessary for him to touch for me to be fully aware of him, and I felt him warm my left side from just his proximity. _

_"I love you," he whispered as if to remind me of that._

_I was still hurting over everything, so I only nodded, clouded by my own pride, letting him know that I heard what he said. I turned the key and shifted into reverse, backing away from the Masens' home. I kept my eyes on the road, lest I search for him through my rear-view mirror. My vision blurred the further I drove from Edward as I tried to blink the tears away on the short drive home. _

_I drug myself out of my truck, my feet feeling as heavy as my heart as I made my way into the house and up the stairs. Only bothering to remove my shoes and jacket, I slipped under the thick covers of my bed as I pulled it over my head, grateful for the dark purple of my comforter that kept me in near absolute darkness. _

_In there, away from everything and every one, I let all the emotions, the crazy roller coaster ride that my heart have been on all day long, take over as my body shook in quiet sobs. I clung desperately onto my pillow which still held his scent from the night before, causing a new round of tears to fall and stain the fabric of it._

_Charlie arrived a few minutes after I did and came to check in on me, just to make sure I was okay. I wasn't, but I didn't want to deal with anyone at the moment. I could tell my dad didn't believe me, but he left me well alone._

_Edward, on the other hand, called my phone over and over again. The first five or so times he called, Charlie had picked up the phone. Whatever it was that my dad had said to him, didn't work as his attempts to get in contact with me wouldn't stop. _

_I wasn't ready to speak to him and tired of hearing the phone ring incessantly, __I pulled the cord from the wall, quickly hiding back under the sheets as if it could shield me from the outside world, from everything that happened today. I hoped he heeded my word and left me alone tonight. As much as I missed the warmth of his body surrounding me, protecting me, I needed to get my head sorted out without his influence._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Do you think that it will all go down hill from here? Do you think that Edward was wrong for keeping this all a secret? He said it himself, he didn't think he would make it into the University of Chicago. And do you think Bella should have reacted the way she did? Did she have a right to?<em>**

**_Please leave me some love!_**

**_:)_**


	9. Batalla Interna

_**_Hola, everyone! Here we are with another chapter of Siempre Te Amare. From the reviews I received for the last chapter, some of you were pissed at Edward and thought that Bella had a right to feel the way she did. Thank you to all of you who read this story, but especially to those who give feedback. I really, really appreciate._**_

_**_I know some of you have been asking about Anhelo Amarte and I'm currently working on the following two chapters. But I won't start on that until this one is done. Trust me, it'll work out better that way. :)_**_

_**_As always, I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so fast with their work, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. I'm so excited to have you girls betaing and I will try to be better with the commas. So thank you, thank you, thank you._**_

_**_Oh, and Happy Birthday to Project Team Beta! They just turned 3! :D_**_

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday, March 11, 1998<em>

_I hated the fact that it was still the middle of the week. I couldn't be absent from school because I wasn't sick, and according to Charlie, unless I was hugging the toilet or burning up at 104 degrees, I needed to be there. Even if I could somehow pull off being sick, I had a test today for my Spanish class that I'd been studying for, and I didn't want to put that off._

_But I really didn't want to be at school today. I still needed time to process all that had happened yesterday, and Edward's constant presence would be a stumbling block. I felt bad for distancing myself from him, for not speaking to him after I had abruptly left his home last night. I didn't know what had happened to his car._ _We'd left it behind at school, and I figured that his mom would call AAA to send a tow truck to bring it back home. He probably needed a ride to school, but would have to depend on his mom for that unless they let him use the family van. Dragging myself out of bed, I turned on the shower and let the water heat up as I clumsily pulled off my clothes. I stood underneath the hot spray for a while, letting the water pound against my skin to wake me up. But even through my morning fog as I got dressed and threw a couple of Pop-Tarts into the toaster, my mind kept running over yesterday's events._

_Finally ready to go, I half expected Edward to be waiting for me in the driveway, so my heart sank when I didn't find him there. As much as my brain wanted to steer clear of him, my heart seemed to be looking for him and ached a little at his absence. _

_Arriving at school, I looked for his car. It seemed like sometime after we had left, someone had picked it up and I felt bad when I thought that maybe the school had called for someone else to tow the car away. I didn't find his mother's car either. _

_As much as I didn't want to, I searched for him... everywhere: in the parking lot, in the hallways and everywhere else I walked. I wondered if he was truly going to give me the space I needed, but I didn't truly want that. I wanted him to look for me._

_It was proof that I really didn't know how to be without him._

_Somehow, I knew he would be with me, giving me the space I asked for, but still there. I felt his presence like I always did, felt his eyes watching me from across the way, and I instinctively looked for him. Before stepping into first period, I saw him, looking at me intently from across the hallway, with a sorrowful look in his face as his eyes searched for something in mine._

_The rush of the last few students running into the classroom wasn't enough to break my gaze from his. My eyes watered as I thought of the secret he kept from me, at the assumption that I didn't want the best for him. His eyebrows pulled together in concern, and he looked like he was about to walk over to me, but I shook my head minutely. I knew the last bell would ring any second now and that I would be marked late if I didn't make it in right now. He seemed not to care if he was late and just stayed right where he was._

_I needed Edward to be certain of one thing –something I refused to tell him yesterday, as angry as I was. I might not have been happy with him at that moment, but he needed to know._

_Looking straight at him, our eyes connecting even as people ran through the hallway between us, my mouth shaped the words, hoping he would see it clearly._

_"I love you," I whispered. His eyes widened for a second, and I saw his chest and shoulders relax as he sighed. The sadness was still there, but there was a glimmer of hope that I knew he would hang on to. Not giving him a chance to respond, I stepped inside the classroom just in time for the last bell._

* * *

><p><em>Saturday, March 14, 1998<em>

_The rest of the week passed pretty much the same way. I still hadn't approached Edward to speak, nor had I let him come near me. Between periods, he would follow me to make sure I got to class just fine. It was silly. I didn't need an escort to every class, but I couldn't say that I didn't love him for it. No words were shared between us. During lunch, I found myself at the library, sitting between the stacks where History collided with Poetry. I worked to hide the smile whenever I saw him follow me again, tucking himself in the row behind me. I would notice him periodically move a few books from one side to another, just to have a small view and not lose sight of me, warming my heart every time._

_But as much as I loved it all, I was glad for the break I got when the weekend finally arrived. There would be no running into Edward unless we sought each other out. Saturdays were chore days, and I was grateful for the distraction. I had loads of clothes to wash and a grocery list to make before going to the Thriftway. _

_Loading the dark clothes into the washer and picking up Charlie's uniform to drop off at the cleaners, I grabbed the shopping list, some money from the cookie jar, and drove over to the supermarket._

_I was in the produce department, picking a couple of sweet onions, when I was startled by someone. I looked up to see shiny, bronze hair pulled up in a bun and intense green eyes watching me closely. Elizabeth giggled like a girl when I jumped at the sight of her and picked up a couple of tomatoes as she inspected them._

_"I didn't mean to startle you, dear," she said lowly as she looked over a slightly bruised tomato and put it back down._

_"It's okay," I whispered nervously as I half-smiled. I quickly looked around to see if Edward was with her, noticing that he was nowhere around._

_"He's not here. He's at home, trying to work on the car," she informed me, and I realized that she wasn't picking through tomatoes any longer. As a matter of fact, there was no shopping cart by her side, and, with the way she was looking at me, it seemed that she was not there to shop. I sighed, tying the bag of sweet onions and placing it in the cart. It was obvious that she was here to talk about Edward's future, and I steeled myself in preparation of what she might say. _

_"Bella, can we talk?"_

_"Um, sure," I nodded in acquiescence._

_"There's that small sitting area by the Deli department," she commented as she pointed toward the south side of the Thriftway where there were two rows of wooden tables there. "Let's go sit over there. Shall we?"_

_Not waiting for my response, she moved to the white-topped tables, sliding into one of the bright orange benches, and I mimicked her, sitting across the table. Since this seemed more urgent, I'd left my cart back in the produce department with the only two items that I'd picked out. She placed her heavy brown purse by her side, pulling it close to her as she smiled tentatively at me. I smiled awkwardly at her, waiting for her to begin. When the silence between us drew out a little too long, she began._

_"Bella, Edward tells me you're not speaking to each other," she uttered, surprising me by cutting to the chase. "My son would kill me if he knew I was here, meddling in his business. But I wanted to speak to you about what happened on Tuesday."_

_I sighed, knowing where this conversation was headed. "Look, I'm not going to stand in his way. I know that he wants Chicago; he deserves Chicago. It's just something that I have to get used to."_

_"He's going to the University of Washington," she blurted out._

_"What?" I asked incredulously, pulling back in disbelief. "He can't do that."_

_"I had a feeling you would say that," Elizabeth muttered, sighing in relief. "He's adamant in going to UDUB, and I honestly think he's making a mistake. You see, we've always planned for him to go to Chicago. And by 'we,' I mean not only his father and me, but him as well. It's been something that he's wanted for a very long time. Not that there's anything wrong with UDUB and his plans with you, but..."_

_"I understand," I interrupted, hoping she didn't notice how much I didn't want to understand. "You just want what's best for him. That would be Chicago."_

_"For his career, yes, Chicago would be better for him," she responded. She reached across the table, taking my hands in her cold ones. She looked at me, imploring me to see things her way. "But he loves you so much, and he's willing to sacrifice it to be with you. We're not opposed to your plans of staying together as much as we are to losing this amazing chance that doesn't come to just anyone. We haven't said anything to him. We want him to make his own decision about all this. We trust he knows what he's doing."_

_"And what do you want me to do? Convince him to go to Chicago? Choose that instead of UDUB?" Instead of me, I thought to myself. I hadn't meant to sound like a bitch. She truly wanted what was best for him. Any mother would want that for their child. Heck, my own mother would._

_"If you were in my shoes, what would you do?" she asked, turning the tables on me. As much as I loved her, I didn't like her very much in that moment for putting me on the spot like that._

_Both my mind and my heart were in agreement. He should go to Chicago. They were telling me to give him my blessing, to talk to him and tell him that I would wait a hundred years for him to come back to me._

_A part of me said that everything would work out, that our love was special and strong enough to survive distance and time like some timeless story told long ago. But another part of me, a part that trembled at the thought of him being so far away, feared what might happen once he left Washington to begin his life in the Midwest. There was a part of me, a selfish part that wanted to stay quiet, that wanted him to continue on with our plans for the University of Washington._

_"You're asking me to give him up," I blurted out as if it had been at the tip of my tongue throughout this entire conversation. Elizabeth's eyes shifted to a look of pity and concern as she slightly tightened the grip she had on my hands._

_"I'm not doing that, honey. He loves you too much to let that happen. We love you too much."_

_"What would you do if you were in my shoes?" I asked, turning the tables back on her._

_"That's not fair," she said, smiling down at me, though it didn't reach her eyes._

_"Exactly," I returned, swallowing hard against the emotions that wanted to escape me._

_"Everything will turn out all right," she said, just like my dad had told me a couple of nights ago when we had a similar conversation. "When it comes to relationships, trust and faith are what keep you together, not the closeness. Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

_She had a point, I guessed. I hoped she was right, and I needed to stop being so negative about all of this. Yes, Edward messed up by lying to me. But it wasn't done out of meanness. He still loved me. How many times had he shown his love to me in how many different ways? He was still my Edward: true and kind and faithful. He might have kept his distance, given me the space that I needed, but he was still right there with me and that had to count for something._

_"Yeah, I do. You're right."_

_"Bella, you're such a big influence in his life," she said as she sighed in relief, the grip she had on my hands loosening a bit but not breaking contact. "You're probably an even bigger influence than we are, and we're his family." She giggled again, her smile coaxing mine because it reminded me so much of Edward. "You have to know that. Right?"_

_"Yeah, I do," I said once again._

_"Think about it," she murmured, with a smile on her face, patting my hands as she finally broke contact. She seemed to be happy as if she somehow knew that by talking to me today, I could get Edward to go to Chicago. She said I was a big influence in his life. She was probably right. But it took her influence over me to do so. She stood up, straightened out her clothes and kissed me on the cheek before going, leaving me behind with an empty shopping cart and my mind so full, I felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. _

_Walking back to my cart, I pushed it along the aisles, moving slower that I had before. There were times I'd catch myself staring at a box of cereal or a can of beans as my brain processed the conversation that took place and I had to admit, I started to feel like a fool._

_Elizabeth meant well when it came to Edward but I felt as if I had been cajoled into doing something I didn't want to do. Why couldn't he go to UDUB? He'd be just as good there as he would in Chicago. He was intelligent and had the potential to be at the top of his class. There was no need for him to go so far. We could begin our lives just as we had planned._

_I really didn't want to become resentful toward his parents who just wanted what was best for him. Besides the fact that he was up for a fully-paid scholarship to UofC, it was something that had been planned since way before I came into the picture. So, in turn, I felt like I didn't have a right to be angry, to be resentful because of them. _

_If it hadn't been for me, there would be no second-guessing on Edward's part. Why must I be the one to stand in his way? _

_The battle between the part of me that wanted to be selfish and the other part that knew Edward deserved this, still carried on inside me throughout the day and even over night. The only thing there was left to do was speak to him. I needed to see firsthand where he stood in all of this, even though I was currently straddling the line on which I stood. I was reluctant because I knew this would change our relationship –this would challenge us and define where we stood._

_It was time to call him and I don't remember being so nervous to call my boyfriend._

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, March 15, 1998<em>

_I didn't know what to say or how I should start the conversation. _

_Last night I hadn't slept well because of all of the thoughts that kept running rampant through my mind and instead of feeling exhausted from the lack of sleep, I had been wired as if I'd consumed twenty cups of coffee. It wasn't only the weight of my decision upon my shoulders that had me restless. It was also the fact that I missed Edward terribly. _

_For the past half hour, I had been walking in circles inside my room, constantly keeping an eye on the phone that was on my desk as if it could grow legs and run away. Biting my lip, I was wringing my hands together with apprehension of the phone call that I was about to make. I was supposed to be in bed already, but didn't want to let another day go by without speaking to him._

_Finally getting the nerve to pick up the phone, I dialed his number and hoped that his parents wouldn't freak out about calling at such a late hour. I cringed at the first ring, rethinking my late night phone call. But suddenly, the most recognizable voice in my world greeted me._

_"Bella!" he nearly shouted, and it sounded like he was catching his breath._

_"Hey," I answered tentatively, keeping my voice low since Charlie was already in bed._

_"Hey." He sighed in what seemed like relief. _

_"H-how are you?" I asked shyly, sitting at the edge of my bed._

_"I've missed you so much, and I'm so sorry," he answered abruptly, his words coming almost all at once. "You were right. I was stupid. I never should have kept that from you..."_

_"Edward?"_

_"Yes?"_

_"How's your car?"_

_How's your car? Really, Bella?_

_I slammed my palm against my forehead._

_"My car?" He asked, sounding confused. "It's okay. I mean, it's not okay. It's still giving me problems..."_

_"Do you need a ride to school tomorrow?" I asked, thinking that maybe asking about his car wasn't a bad idea after all._

_"Yes!" he nearly shouted again, causing me to snort. Clearing his throat, he answered in a more moderated tone. "Yes, please. I would like that."_

_"Good. Then, I'll see you in the morning," I prompted, not knowing what else to say. I wanted to speak to him, but I didn't want to do it over the phone._

_"All right," he muttered, sounding a little disappointed. I had to admit that I was as well. I didn't want to let him go just yet._

_"Edward?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I've missed you so much," I finally confessed. I heard him sigh on the other end, but then he stayed quiet for a few moments. "Edward?"_  
><em>When he finally answered, he sounded distracted.<em>

_"I've missed you, too," he whispered, and I wondered what he was up to. "You have no idea how much I've missed you."_

_"I think I have an idea."_

_"I gotta go," he uttered abruptly, and I was bummed to know that he was cutting our conversation short._

_"Oh, okay. So, I'll see you later, then?"_

_"Definitely," he said, chuckling lowly._

_He hung up before I could say anything else. I was suddenly restless. Having heard his voice made me realize how much I needed him right now. Not in a sexual way, but definitely physical. I needed his warmth, his closeness, and I was going to have a hard time falling asleep tonight. My eyes landed on my end table as I thought of picking up my sketchbook to see where it would lead me, but I was drawing a blank. Looking over at my closet, I wondered what I would wear to school tomorrow. Since I was going to be picking Edward up, and, we hadn't spoken to each other in a few days, I wanted to wear something special for him._

_Looking through my clothes, I jumped at the sound of a soft knock on my window. Working to calm my heart, I walked over and noticed the tall silhouette of a man standing on the other side of the glass -the same man who'd been doing this for close to a year._

_"What are you doing here?" I asked him after unlocking my window and lifting it to open._

_He crouched to slide through, and my heart began to beat double time at the sight of him. The dim light from the street helped me see what he was wearing as I took in his appearance. He wore a black hoodie which shadowed his face, his green shorts making me wonder if he was freezing. Pulling his hoodie back, he smiled down at me as his black-rimmed glasses clung to the crook of his nose._

_I couldn't wait any longer. I threw my arms around him, pulling him to me as closely as possible. He felt cold and moist against my body as if he'd been running from home, and, even though it made me flinch a bit, I embraced him tighter. He wrapped his arms around my waist as he lifted me and I was right where I belonged._

_"I couldn't wait until tomorrow," he said as he pulled away, only enough to see my face. Not hesitating any longer, his lips crashed into mine, and I moaned at the feel of his cool lips moving against my mouth. His taste was unforgettable, and I took as much as he offered. After a few moments, he pulled away again, looking at me repentantly. "I'm so sorry about lying to you."_

_"Shhhh... You're gonna wake up Charlie," I warned when I heard his voice start to take on a desperate tone. "Come with me," I invited him and pulled him with me toward the bed. "How did you get here?"_

_"I probably looked like a crazy person," he answered once he sat on the bed with his back against the wall and pulled me onto his lap. "I rode Alice's bike here." I stopped before realizing he was talking about the bright metallic purple bike with hot pink lines that were drawn on it. I covered my mouth with my hand, working to contain my laughter as I imagined his tall form riding the tiny thing, crouched down with his knees scraping against the handle bar. It was Alice's bike after all. It was even small for me._

_After a few moments of gazing at each other, I realized that he was still in his hooded jacket. I helped him out of it, leaving him in a black tank top. I worked up the courage to talk to him._

_"Okay, now that you're here, I guess we should talk."_

_"Bella, I'm sorry," he apologized once again, looking intently into my eyes._

_"I know."_

_"No. I should have told you from the beginning," he whispered imploringly, holding me close to him. "I should have trusted you, and I was a hypocrite for keeping this from you when you've been open with me about everything." He breathed in deeply and took my hands in his._

_"It happened during the summer. Remember when my dad and I went to Chicago to visit my family?" he asked, and I nodded, remembering how much we hated being apart from each other. "We went to the University of Chicago because we had been planning that since I was a kid. But since I've met you, I've realized that I don't need Chicago. I want to be with you."_

_As much as I loved him for putting me first before his plans and his parents, I couldn't help but feel wrong about it._

_"But my parents kept insisting that I should put in an application anyway. When you asked me if I had written my essay for UDUB, I had sent the one for Chicago just the day before. It was still bugging me for the next few days after that, but I had eventually forgotten about it. I didn't think I was going to make it in."_

_"You didn't think you would make it in, or was it that you'd hoped you wouldn't?" I asked, feeling like there was more to it than not believing he would make it. The idea of him not being accepted seemed preposterous to me. "You hoped you wouldn't have to make that decision to choose between Chicago and me."_

_He stayed quiet for a bit before he answered._

_"Yeah, I did hope that I wasn't accepted."_

_"But you want to go to Chicago, don't you? Be honest with me."_

_Hesitating a bit, he looked down as his hand played with the hem of my shirt. "Yes, I want to go, but I also want you."_

_"Who says you can't have both?" I asked before I could stop myself. We were both surprised by my question, and I fought the voice inside of me that wanted me to take it back – a voice that sounded a lot like me when I was a girl._

_The little girl inside of me was tugging on my shirt, trying to pull me away from that direction. But my eyes caught the small slip of hope in his eyes before his expression turned again as he worked to give away nothing._

_"What?" he asked as he looked intently into my eyes, searching for something._

_"Go to Chicago," I said with as much conviction as I could muster._

_"No," he refused. Gosh, he could be stubborn._

_"Listen to me," I said, moving myself to straddle him. I cradled his head in my hands, focusing on him and him alone, hoping to convey the seriousness of what I was telling him. "Go to Chicago, and I'll wait for you here. When I'm done with UDUB, I'll join you over there."_

_He was silent for what seemed like a long time. I could see it in his eyes that his brain was working a mile a minute, possibly thinking of a reason to say no._

_"Why are you doing this?" he asked curiously as he wrapped his arms around my waist. Sighing, I answered, hoping to convey the sincerity of my words._

_"What kind of person would I be if I asked you to stay with me? Could I ask you to give up something as huge as this?" I asked, not giving him a chance to answer. __My hands slid down to his shoulders, massaging them to help the tension go away. "It would be wrong of me to do that. Would you ask me to give up a fully-paid scholarship –give up my dreams?"_

_"No, I wouldn't ask you to do that," he answered, his shoulders relaxing a bit. He smiled tentatively as if he still couldn't believe what I was asking of him. "Are you okay with that?"_

_"I wouldn't be okay if you didn't go." He looked intently into my face as if he were searching for even a hint of hesitancy. When he couldn't find any, his smile grew into a achingly beautiful smile._

_"Thank you!" he whispered as he spread kisses all over my face, causing me to giggle. He kept thanking me as he laid me down on the bed, placing himself carefully between my legs. His lips returned to mine, and we kissed slowly but passionately, making up for the almost week that we'd been apart. Once it became too much, we pulled away to catch our breath. With the tip of his foot, he pushed his worn sneakers off, plopping them onto the floor as he removed his glasses, placing them on the end table by my sketchbook. Lying down beside me, he set my alarm clock to wake him up at 4:30, earlier than his usual time, to make it out of the house before Charlie would wake up._

_I briefly wondered where he'd left Alice's bike, hoping that no one would steal it in the middle of the night while he was here. I giggled again at the thought of him riding the small, flashy bike to my house. When he looked at me curiously, asking silently what I was laughing at, I told him. He rolled eyes, his lips lifting up in one corner as he pulled me to him, cradling me against his chest._

_Breathing him in, his scent permeating my senses, I wrapped my arm around his mid-section, embracing him as he did the same to me. We fell into a comfortable silence, and I sighed audibly, feeling my eyes getting heavy with sleepiness._

_"Are you sure you're okay with me going to Chicago?" he asked. I raised my head to look at him, hoping that I sounded as honest as I could._

_"Edward, I'm not going to lie. I'm nervous about how everything will work out, but if you have faith in us, then I should have faith in us, too."_

_I had to have faith in us –just like Elizabeth had said yesterday while we spoke at the Thriftway. I had to have faith and trust that everything would be okay. Without that, even if we stayed in the same place, it would never work between us. The thought of it reminded me of my parents, and I needed to be stronger than that. Edward and I had to be stronger than they were so that we could make it together._

_"We have to call each other all the time," he said, his eyes brightening even in the dim light coming from outside. Even though the thought of him going to Chicago was still weighing heavily in my heart, I wanted to show him that I would put effort into our relationship despite the distance._

_"Between classes and every night before we go to bed," I countered._

_"We'll write each other at least once a week," he said as he took my hand in his solid grip and kissed my knuckles._

_"Holidays!" I whispered excitedly, still making sure not to get too loud. "Don't forget holidays."_

_"Thanksgiving –I'll come here to Washington, and for Christmas, you can come to Chicago. It's beautiful there for Christmas."_

_"We should go to somewhere else for spring break... some far off place."_

_"We can go to Spain."_

_"Pfft, that's too expensive. We're going to be struggling as it is, paying for these long distance phone calls."_

_"You're right. But we're definitely going there someday," he said as he yawned, his face still smiling broadly._

_"Yeah, I can practice my atrocious Spanish." We both chuckled at that as I wrapped my leg across his thighs._

_"Take Spanish at UDUB. It'll be much better to learn it there than here in Forks, I'm sure."_

_"So, where do you want to go for spring break?"_

_"Daytona Beach?" I kept myself from rolling my eyes. Even though Daytona Beach was known to be a pretty popular spot for college kids during spring break, I wasn't a fan of the beach itself._

_"Ugh! I've been there once. I didn't like it much. Oh, we should go to St. Augustine," I suggested, just thinking of the possibilities. I'd been there once and had been wanting to go there again. I loved it. It was a charming city. "It's right between Daytona and Jacksonville, where my mom lives. I'm sure she'll be fine if we stay at her home. There's a lot of history there. It's the oldest city in the US."_

_"Man, I can't wait to see you in a two-piece," he whispered, looking up at the ceiling, dreamily._

_"Edward!" I whispered loudly, wondering if he'd been paying attention at all._

_"What?" He chuckled._

_"I'm being serious here," I said, even though I couldn't suppress my smile._

_"I am too. I'm very serious," he whispered as he kissed me, and his smiled faded, a look of determination gracing his face. "We can do this, you know? Yes, it'll be four years. But compared to a lifetime with you, we can do it. I'll wait for you."_

_"I love you," I whispered, scooting myself closer to him and smiling at the faith that he had in us._

_"I know. I can tell," he whispered, looking at me with so much love that my throat constricted with the emotions that threatened to break through. "I love you, too."_

_"Good night." I kissed him one more time, my mind drifting off to what the future would bring. I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't still worried about everything. But now, I had him here. After his absence had made my heart ache, we were finally where we belonged. As I closed my eyes, I worked to silence the nagging feeling and the little girl that wanted to keep me awake with worry._

_Besides, if Edward said he would wait for me, there was no reason to doubt him, right?_

* * *

><p><strong><em>So what do you guys think about Elizabeth's conversation with Bella and what she asked of her? And what about the plans that EB have for the future?_**

**_Please leave a review and let me know what you think._**

**_Catch you on the flip side! Smooches!_**


	10. Influencia

**_Hello, all! I just wanted to thank you for staying here with me even during the long periods between updates. I'm currently working to get the next four chapters beta'd and finalized asap. _**

**_So, in total, it'll be fourteen chapters. Sorry that it's taking so long and for the extra chapters but I'm hoping to make it up to you by starting Anhelo Amarte soon. _**

**_Would you like an update sooner or an outtake I've working on? Let me know..._**

**_As always, I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Monday, April 7, 1998<em>**

_"Hey, honey!" I winced when I heard my mother's voice squeal on the phone. There were times when I would sit and wonder if she was smoking something or if the heat in Florida was messing with her brain because her level of enthusiasm when we spoke on the phone was astounding to me. "I miss you so much! How are you doing?"_

_"I'm good," I responded unenthusiastically, sighing loudly. It was something that I'd been doing a lot lately, and I couldn't put my finger on to why. "How are you and Phil doing?"_

_"Uh-oh! Honey, what's wrong?" I could just picture her sitting down on the sofa, looking out the window toward the beach and bracing herself for bad news. I couldn't think of anything that might be wrong._

_"Nothing," I answered, and I wondered why I didn't sound honest to my own ears._

_"You sound kind of off. Is everything okay? How's Edward?"_

_Edward. I felt anxiety creep into my bones and reach into my heart at the mention of his name. We'd been doing... okay since we got back together. We'd been making plans for our future, talking constantly about the classes we would take at our respective schools and promising each other that we'd make this work despite the distance._

_Somehow, I couldn't find it in me to bury the worry that was running amok in my brain, and I kept beating myself up for having suggested that we do the long distance thing. But, what else were we to do? What was I supposed to say? How cruel would it be of me to deny him the best education he'd been offered?_

_Other than that, we had gone back to our regular schedule._

_He would pick me up from school, walk me from one class to another, eat lunch with me and try to have some time alone after school, unless he had a game or practice. Lately, the number of late-night trips to my room had to be cut short. There were a couple of times in when we'd come dangerously close to getting caught by Charlie, and we didn't want to risk getting into trouble and seeing each other even less. But between the days that we hadn't spoken to each other, the unwelcome monthly visit from Mother Nature and an unexpected trip his parents decided to make with him to Chicago to "check things out," we hadn't had much time together._

_There was an awkwardness between us, or maybe it was just me. I was anxious all the time and feeling this uncomfortable pressure in my chest. The thought of having a minor heart attack flittered briefly through my mind, but it was something more than that. It was a dread that I felt all day long and even through the night. My heart clenched as if it realized that with every step I took forward, it would be a step closer to an undesired fate._

_Then there were the times when I was with Edward. Everything with him seemed to fall into place perfectly. I could see through his eyes how everything could work out for us. I saw the faith he had in us to hold strong through the challenges that would befall us. I was constantly teetering back and forth between his hope for our relationship and a dreaded despair that things between us would crumble and turn to dust._

_"Edward's good," I said, putting more effort into sounding excited for my boyfriend's future. "He got accepted to the University of Chicago!"_

_"Chicago?" she asked, and if I had been there, I could just imagine the expression on her face, reflecting the wheels turning in her head._

_"Yeah, they're offering a full scholarship," I said._

_"Oh, wow! Tell him I said, 'Congratulations!'" she felicitated, sounding as excited as I should have been. Still, there was something in her tone that made me bristle with nervousness._

_"I will."_

_"So, how do you feel about that?" she inquired, knowing me better than I liked._

_"It's... it's cool. It's a great opportunity. It would be stupid of him not to go."_

_"No, honey. How do you really feel?" I sighed for what seemed like the twelfth time since we began our phone call. Apparently, I hadn't been doing a good job at sounding excited for him, and Renee just wanted to make sure that I was okay, like always._

_"I'm proud of him. He deserves it. He's worked really hard for it."_

_She hummed, unconvinced, and the silence that followed made me anxious._

_"What, Mom?" I asked impatiently._

_"Nothing. It's just that you don't sound as excited as you're pretending to be," she answered finally, reminding me how well she could read me, having called me an open book many times before. I should have known better than to think that she wouldn't figure me out. "You're sounding almost as if you were preprogrammed to say these things."_

_"Preprogrammed?"_

_"Press 'one' for English," my mother said, sounding like a nasally, overly-chipper operator. "Para espanol, presso el number dos. Press 'three' if you'd like to hear the preprogrammed answers I tell everyone else in order to hide how I really feel."_

_"Mom, you can be a bit strange sometimes. Did you know that?"_

_"Spill!" my mother demanded._

_"I'm okay, Mom. I mean, I'm not thrilled with the idea of being separated by one-thousand seven hundred and thirty-six miles, a day and nine hours of driving distance and close to $450 for a round trip ticket to Chicago – believe me, I've checked – for a whole four years. But..."_

_"Geez, that's it!" she interrupted sarcastically._

_"Mom!"_

_"Sorry," she apologized, even though it sounded watered down._

_"But he says he's willing to wait and... so am I," I continued to say, hoping that it was convincing. But who I was trying to convince was what I briefly wondered._

_"Hmm..." She hummed again. Man, I hated when she did that._

_"What, Mom?"_

_"Nothing." Again, she was hiding from me._

_"Tell me!"_

_"Okay," she consented after a few moments of silence. "But you might not like what I have to say." _

_I sat down to prepare myself for what she was about to tell me and pulled my sketchbook onto my lap, looking through the pages of my latest work. My sketches were becoming darker, the tone melding into this despair that I could not shake. _

_"It's fine that you guys are making plans. You both are at a point in your relationship where everything is rosy and cupcakes and sweetness. The whole world seems small and insignificant compared to how you feel about each other. Promises that have been made will never be broken. In your eyes, in the innocence that you both carry, there's just no way that those promises will cease to exist."_

_"What are you getting at, Mom?" I asked, hating the way she seemed to be minimizing my relationship with Edward._

_"Bella, your father and I were very much in love. But we were also very young, and we didn't know better. We hadn't grown up yet and hadn't experienced anything outside of what we knew. We made promises to each other without taking into consideration that sometimes... life throws things our way that might change us. I might be a flake sometimes, but I'm a realist, too. Bella, anything can happen once you both go your own ways. You might meet someone else..."_

_"No!" I cut in, disbelieving._

_"_He_ could meet someone else," she said, and it made me gasp, surprised that she would be so blunt about it all. "Honey, life has taught me that you can't place __your faith in something that has so many obstacles."_

_"So, you don't have faith in Phil? You don't trust him?" I asked, getting more agitated by the moment. The more she spoke, the more my insides twisted, and I placed my hand on my chest, right above my heart, as I felt it constrict painfully. Maybe it was just my imagination, but this mixed with the no-longer-butterflies-but-massive-dragons in my stomach and the breathlessness that I felt were making me shake from the inside out._

_"I trust Phil as the woman that I am today, a woman with experience. But I am a woman who knows that people change, especially when they're transitioning from adolescence into adulthood. In that very important phase of your life, you'll get to meet new people, experience new things that will change the way you view things and open your eyes to a whole new world. You'll learn things that will take you out of the bubble you and Edward live in. Even if the two of you would've gone to UDUB together, how do you know that everything would have worked out in the end?"_

_Change? Would he change, or would I? I shook my head to dispel these thoughts from my head._

_"But it will work out, Mom," I said with as much conviction as I could muster, though admittedly, it didn't seem like enough._

_"Bella, listen to me. In the end, your father and I wanted different things." _No, _you_ wanted different things, Mom_, I thought to myself, replaying the long-faded memories of when she packed up our stuff and moved us out. "As much as I loved your father, we changed. Look, I just want to protect you, honey. I don't want you to go through what I went through with your father. I don't want to see you hurt."_

_I didn't want to hear this any longer. Why was this all making sense to me? Why couldn't I just hold onto the faith that Edward had in us?_

_"But what if you're wrong, Mom?"_

_"Then, I'm wrong," she concluded, finally starting to back away. I began to breathe again, but there was still an uncomfortable pressure inside of my chest that I couldn't push out for the life of me. "I'm your mother, honey. When you're a mom, you'll know how very much you want to protect your kids from all types of harm. Okay?"_

_"Okay," I conceded, hoping that my mom would let me go soon. All of a sudden, I wanted to hide under the comforter on my bed and cover my ears like a little child. I didn't want to hear anymore. I felt myself being pulled in so many different directions, and I was suddenly feeling exhausted._

_"I love you, Sweetheart," she whispered, yawning as if she were tired. Looking at the time, I realized it was a bit past her usual bedtime, and I knew that she would be hanging up soon._

_"I love you, too, Mom."_

_"Just think about it, okay?" she asked, hoping that her words tonight would help me._

_"Okay."_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Wednesday, April 29, 1998<em>**

_This was a rare treat for me. Edward and I shared only one class this year, and seeing him here in my fourth period Spanish 2 class, helping Mr. Molina who had requested him as a student aide for this hour, had me giddy. It might also have to do with the fact that I have been in the mood for him since he picked me up from my house this morning._

_I didn't know what it was about him that seemed especially enticing to me today. Was it the way his black t-shirt hugged his broad shoulders and every dip and curve of his torso? Or the five o'clock shadow that had me wishing to feel it against the skin of my inner thighs? Or was it something deeper: like the underlying desire I saw in his eyes every time I caught him watching my every move? I wanted so badly to find a small hidden space in some abandoned hallway where I could pull him in with me. I wanted him to hold me closely, slowly dragging his hand up my leg and underneath my plaid skirt. I wanted him to feel how wet he had made me and how much I needed him to take me._

_I just wanted him._

_He was standing on the other side of the room, helping Mike Newton with the assignment we'd been working on. Every time he looked up at me, I made sure to catch his attention by biting my lip or by shifting one leg over the other to show a little more skin than I was used to. His eyes grew darker with every extra bit I gave him. But if he didn't make it to me soon, I was going to end up undressing completely._

_He was working his way to me, and I casually undid the top two buttons of my red cashmere sweater while still keeping it hidden from other eyes. My assignment was finished long ago, and I was currently trying to write a note for him in Spanish, hoping that he'd say yes to my request. The closer he got to me, the more my body radiated with a tension that I worked to control._

_Taking one last look around the classroom and watching all the others intent on their assignments, he bent over me, placing one hand on the back of my chair and the other one on the desk in front of me, trapping me. The heat of his body had me gravitating toward him, his scent invading my senses, and I turned to face him. His eyes became perceptively darker as he looked down the front opening of my sweater, just like I had wanted him to. He licked his lips, and I briefly imagined his warm mouth surrounding the peak of my breast. I worked to hide the whimper that wanted to escape at the thought._

_"_Hola, Señorita Swan_," he croaked, his voice deep and delicious. The way he greeted me in Spanish had me rubbing my legs together, seeking the friction I'd been desperately craving for far too long. "_¿Ha terminado su tarea?_" He asked if I'd finished my work and I sat up straighter, pretending to be a good student. Once again, I shifted one leg over the other, and I was giddy when I saw him swallow hard at the sight of my pleated skirt riding up a little more against my thighs. He sighed, shaking his head at me in mock frustration as I suppressed the urge to smile._

_"_Si, Señor Masen,_" I whispered huskily, looking up at him through my eyelashes. I pushed the note I'd written for him in front of him, and his eyes seemed reluctant to leave my chest to see what it said._

_"I need you; skip with me after lunch and let's run away together." Or at least, that's what I hoped it read in my broken Spanish._

_His breath hitched, and his eyes widened for only a second. He lowered his lips to my ear, watching to make sure no one was paying attention to us, and whispered in his eloquent and perfect Spanish, "_Si, Señorita Swan, necesito tocarte_." Yes, Ms. Swan, I need to touch you, he had said, and it had me trembling in anticipation._

_Edward jumped a little when Mr. Molina called for his attention, asking him to help another student. Whether it was because someone else really did need help or because he might have noticed Edward getting a little too close to me, I couldn't tell or didn't care._

_He winked at me, taking the note and placing it in his pocket as he made his way toward the front of the class. For the next ten minutes, I continued to admire him from afar until my attention was caught by hearing the name of someone I hadn't heard from in far too long._

_Angela._

_There were a few minutes left before the end of class, and most of the students were packing up while chatting in low voices, anxiously waiting for lunch time. As much as I looked forward to spending the rest of the day with Edward, the topic of conversation, followed by an exaggerated gasp coming from the person who sat behind me, pulled my attention momentarily._

_"No!" Jessica whispered incredulously, although it sounded a bit theatrical. I kept my eyes away from her and Lauren, but I couldn't seem to block their conversation as they spoke about Angela. "Seriously?"_

_"Yep!" Lauren confirmed snottily with a hint of derision in her simple response. "She is totally like the school slut now. Apparently, she's been sleeping with half of the football team since she got there while poor Ben is absolutely clueless about everything."_

_What? What the hell were they talking about? Angela would never do anything like that, especially not to Ben, and it made me angry that these two bitches would even contemplate saying something so crude and false about my former best friend. Granted, we hadn't spoken to each other in months, and I felt like she had changed and forgotten about me. But would she do that to Ben? It didn't make sense, and it was not like Angela to act so poorly._

_"It's like, I'm surprised, but I'm not surprised," Jessica continued, and I briefly imagined turning around and punching her in the nose. "I totally knew that was going to happen."_

_"Yep," Lauren agreed. "Just 'cause she's the reverend's daughter doesn't mean that the holier-than-thou bullshit she tried to make everyone believe was necessarily true."_

_I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't let them talk that way about Angela. I knew that if I hadn't been able to get in contact with Angela, the lies that they were trying to spread about her were absolutely untrue. They were never close to her, were never friends, and to make it seem as if they knew better about what was going on in Angela's life was ridiculous, but still infuriating._

_"What the hell are you guys talking about?" I asked, finally turning around. It was obvious that I'd been eavesdropping on their conversation, but it wasn't like they were trying to hide it to begin with._

_"None of your damn business, Swan!" Lauren snapped lowly, and I held myself back from throwing my Spanish textbook at her face._

_"Oh, puh-lease! Like you didn't know," Jessica sneered incredulously. I sat stupefied in my chair, thinking that I should know better, that I should know what my __"best friend" was up to, but I didn't, and it felt like a slap in the face. It was almost comical to see Jessica and Lauren look at each other in silence before breaking into their obnoxious cackle. "Oh, shit! You don't know! So much for being best friends. She totally forgot about you, too, didn't she?"_

_"Angela would never do that to Ben," I declared as I felt the heat of a blush warm over my face from embarrassment and anger._

_"What would you know?" Lauren asked, her face twisting with animosity. "My cousin goes to UCLA, and she knows Angela. She's seen her with other guys. She wouldn't lie to me."_

_"That's bullshit," I added, though it didn't come out as strongly as I wanted it to._

_"Is it?" Jessica asked with bitterness laced in her words. She slid closer to me as I instinctively moved back. She smiled, but again, like so many times before, it wasn't a friendly smile. "Is it so hard to believe that Angela would find something else, something better out there? Who knows? Ben's probably already beat her to it by finding someone else in New York._

_"Because that's what happens, Bella, when people go their separate ways. They see what the world has in store for them and leave behind childish ideas of love and promises that were made. People grow up. Just look at Edward now."_

_I turned to look for him as Lauren and Jessica did the same. There he was, on the other side of the classroom, looking beautiful and breathtaking as he'd always been. He was hunched over another student, a pretty female student as he pointed out something in her Spanish textbook. He wasn't as close to her as he had been to me earlier, but I still didn't like the proximity between them. The girl, whose name I couldn't think of right now, was intentionally flirting with him, giggling and tucking the loose strands of her hair behind her ear as he helped her with her assignment. Everyone else had already packed up their things and were ready to go. But this girl still had her textbook open, and I wondered if she truly needed help or if she was looking for his attention._

_Edward was pretty popular in school, and girls left and right were constantly vying for his attention. He might have been oblivious to her advances, but he wasn't pulling away from her, and his laughter was hearty every time she whispered something to him. It made my heart clench, the jealous monster inside of me rearing its ugly head. But most of all, the small doubt that Renee had seeded in me the other night was growing the longer I looked upon them. I worked to control my emotions, especially in front of Lauren and Jessica as the latter leaned forward to whisper in my ear._

_"I told you, Bella, Edward Masen looks out for number one," she muttered. "Yeah, he loves you now. It's obvious that he's oblivious to that girl's advances. But she doesn't seem to care. She's throwing herself at him, and you're all in the same room!" He looked up at me, his genuine smile gracing his features. But it soon turned into a grimace when he saw my face and the person who was whispering in my ear. I turned away from him to look at Jessica, feeling the eyes of both Lauren and Edward on me._

_"Imagine what will happen when he's hundreds of miles away, without you there as a reminder that he's with someone. When he goes to Chicago, don't think for a minute that women of all types won't be throwing themselves at him. He's handsome, he's smart, he comes from a good family, and he has a big... heart." She chuckled darkly as I kept my eyes away from him, even though I could feel the weight of his on me. "And what are you going to do all the way from Washington State? Save yourself the heartache, Bella. Do you want to see him for the rest of your life as the bad guy? Like I do? Or would you prefer for the memory of him to stay untainted by what will inevitably be the end of your relationship?"_

_The bell rang, bringing with it the cacophony of shifted chairs and pounding feet as the class emptied out for lunch. I looked over to see Edward speaking to Mr. Molina, his eyebrows pulled together in concern as his eyes shifted constantly between the teacher and me._

_Jessica's words were still ringing in my ears as I felt my heart clench at the thought. It was something that I couldn't argue with; what she had said made sense. _

_But of course, it was Jessica who was telling me all of this. She had hated me since the first day and still, after all this time, was still working diligently to break my relationship with Edward. She was willing to start up rumors and say hurtful things just to get her way._

_The news about Angela and Ben could be a lie. It had to be. Just a year ago, Angela was the one who had poured her heart out to me when she feared for her future with Ben. Their relationship was solid, and there was no way that I could see them break up just because of the distance that kept them apart._

_I looked over at Edward, and I clung to the faith that he had in us as I smiled at him, waiting for him to come over. Jessica and Lauren were already heading out of classroom, whispering to each other._

_"You're wrong, Jessica," I exclaimed loudly as Edward walked toward me, looking between us._

_She stopped at the doorway, the throngs of high school students walking through the hallway behind her on their way to the cafeteria. Turning to see me, her face was as serious as I had ever seen it, and she waved to Lauren to continue on without her._

_"Am I?" she asked, looking at me gravely before joining the rest of the students._

_Edward reached me, taking my book bag and sliding it over his shoulder as he held my hand in his._

_"What happened?" he asked, searching my face for any signs of distress. Standing on my toes, I reached up to kiss him and pulled him with me out of the classroom._

_"Nothing much," I answered, trying to shake off the bad feelings that were beginning to tug at me. "You know, Jessica. She's just crazy. But I don't want to think of her. It's just you and me right now. Okay?"_

_"Okay," he conceded as he took my hand in his, linking our fingers together and leading me away from the cafeteria and out to the parking lot._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Saturday, May 2, 1998<em>**

_212-555-7845?_

_Hmm... I didn't recognize the number on the Caller ID. According to the information above it, the call was coming from New York, NY, and I briefly wondered if it was some telemarketer calling to bug us. But it was a Saturday night, and they never called here this late as far as I knew. I was currently finishing off the last of the dishes while Charlie watched the baseball game in the living room. I had been in deep thought as I put the plates away and began to clean the counters when the loud ring from the phone had startled me out of my musings._

_There was something about the number that was pulling me to answer it. Quickly drying off my hands, I picked up the receiver right as the last ring shrilled before the call would go to voice mail._

_"H-hello?"_

_"Bella?" a rough voice answered. It startled me briefly that the caller, a stranger, knew who I was and called me by name. It took me a moment to realize who it was and was surprised that he had called me._

_Ben and I hadn't spoken to each other since last year. Even then, we hung out, but we weren't exactly buddy-buddy. There was no reason why we weren't closer friends. I was his girl's best friend, and he was one of Edward's closest buddies. So, my mind ran a hundred miles a minute, trying to figure why he would be calling me instead of Edward._

_"Oh, hey Ben!" I greeted, the surprise of his call evident in my voice. "Long time, no see. What's up? How's everything?"_

_"Could be better," he responded, his voice sounding low and rough as if he were sick. "Have you spoken to Angela lately?"_

_"No," I answered, his question reminding me of Jessica and Lauren's conversation earlier this week, and I shook my head at the absurdity of it. "I haven't spoken to her since before Christmas. Why? Is everything all right?"_

_"Are you sure you haven't heard from her recently?" he asked, and I wasn't sure any more if he was sick. He sounded as if he had been crying, and it made me anxious about why he was calling me. Was Angela hurt? Is she sick? Did something happen to her, and he was calling to let me know?_

_"Yes, I'm sure. Ben, what's going on?"_

_"Did you know that Angela...?" A sob broke before he could continue. I sat down at the kitchen table, bracing myself for bad news as I held tightly onto the edge of the wooden table. After a few minutes of listening to his nearly quiet sobs over the phone, he fell silent, his heavy breaths calming after just a few moments._

_"Ben? What's wrong?" I asked, hoping to God that nothing had happened to Angela._

_"Did you know that Angela's been seeing someone else?"_

* * *

><p><strong><em>Dun-dun-duuuuunnnn! <em>**

**_So, what do you guys think of her conversations between her and Renee? And Jessica? And Ben? _**

**_Let me know..._**

**_Love you guys! You're awesome!_**

**_polyvore .com/cgi/set?id=48554447  
><em>**


	11. Epifanía

**_**_As always, I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412 from Project Team Beta for being so awesome, so humbling with their corrections, and so encouraging with their comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you._**_**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Saturday, May 2, 1998 <em>**_Last time..._

_"Could be better," he responded, his voice sounding low and rough as if he were sick. "Have you spoken to Angela lately?"_

_"No," I answered, his question reminding me of Jessica and Lauren's conversation earlier this week, and I shook my head at the absurdity of it. "I haven't spoken to her since before Christmas. Why? Is everything all right?"_

_"Are you sure about that?" he asked, and I wasn't sure any more if he was sick. Instead, he sounded as if he had been crying, and it made me anxious as to why he was calling me. Was Angela hurt? Is she sick? Did something happen to her and he was calling to let me know?_

_"Yes, I'm sure. Ben, what's going on?"_

_"Did you know that Angela...?" A sob broke before he could continue. I sat down at the kitchen table, bracing myself for bad news as I held tightly onto the edge of the wooden table. After a few minutes of listening to his quiet sobs over the phone, he fell silent, his heavy breaths calming after just a few moments._

_"Ben? What's wrong?" I asked, hoping to God that nothing had happened to Angela._

_"Did you know that Angela's been seeing someone else?"_

* * *

><p><em>I gasped, the news hitting me like a punch in the stomach and leaving me breathless. It couldn't be. Again, I told myself that it made no sense, and suddenly Lauren's words came back to me.<em>

"She is totally –like– the school slut now. Apparently, she's been sleeping with half of the football team since she got there while poor Ben is absolutely clueless about everything."

_I shook my head, not believing for a second what he had said, not wanting to believe what Lauren had said was true._

_"W-what? What are you talking about?" I asked, incredulous._

_"She's been fucking somebody else!" he shouted over the phone, and I winced, pulling the receiver away from my ear._

_"No! That makes no sense. She wouldn't do that. She loves you."_

_"Apparently not enough to keep her legs closed!" he shouted, the bluntness in his angry words and the pain that he was feeling shocking me into silence. It was a strange thing to hear, but it was even stranger to feel the betrayal of her actions. My heart ached for him._

_"Okay, Ben?" I called out to him as calmly as I could, hoping that he could control his temper. I could still hear him cry over the phone –something I never thought I would hear from him– and I was trying to think of the right thing to say to help him through it. But what was I supposed to say? There were just no words. "You need to calm down. Breathe, please."_

_After about a minute, I heard him pacing his breaths with the occasional hitch and he sounded so broken when he finally spoke. "I'm sorry, Bella. It just... it hurts so fucking much."_

_"Tell me what happened. How do you know?" I asked, the anger rising inside of me. The thought of any of this having to do with Lauren or Jessica had me bristling. If I were to find out that either one of them called him up to tell him this, they were both going to answer to me on Monday._

_"I went to see her," he answered, his voice low but angry. "I flew over two thousand miles to surprise her," he continued, scoffing. My hand involuntarily rose to cover my mouth, and my eyes began to water, afraid of what I was about to hear. Through his sobs, he continued to speak, and my heart ached more for him with every word he said. "I should have known. I should have fucking known that she'd been seeing someone else. How could I be so stupid? She'd been so distant, so... off. I just thought that she was mad at me for something. I'd been sitting in my dorm room, wracking my brain, trying to figure out if I'd done something wrong, if I said something that was out of line."_

_"Ben," I whispered, my voice trembling as I felt his pain._

_"I took all the money I'd made in tips, delivering those disgusting pizzas. I was saving that money for... I was going to ask her to marry me. That money was supposed to be for her ring." I worked to contain my whimper at the thought of his plans for her, for the two of them, and how it all seemed to disappear in mere moments. "Man, in a way, I'm so fucking glad that I didn't do it."_

_"What happened next?" I asked, prompting him to continue._

_"I got there, and I went looking for her. I started asking people if they knew her, where she was. People were looking at me strangely, as if they didn't know that Angela had a boyfriend. Finally, her roommate told me she was at the library. She kept looking at me with this sad look on her face, with pity. I asked her what was wrong..."_

_"Oh, no...," I cried, not ready to hear what would inevitably come next._

_"Oh yes, Bella!" he exclaimed, laughing humorlessly. "She tells me that Angela's been hooking up with some asshole named Patrick."_

_I couldn't hold it in any longer. I let myself feel his pain, the betrayal of Angela. I began to cry for him, for who I knew Angela to be and for the end of their beautiful relationship. It took everything in me not to wail as if someone had just died because, in a way, she just did. I began to hate the Angela that she was now. Why would she do this? How come she turned into this other person? How come she didn't have the decency to say something about it from the beginning? How come she didn't call to tell me about her changing feelings for Ben? I would've tried to help or, at least, advise her to tell him up front about meeting someone else instead of being a coward and letting it get to this point._

_Despite the pain that I felt, I still didn't know what to say. Yes, there were many questions that were running through my mind, but I just couldn't find a way to make them come out. All I found myself doing was apologizing, as stupid as it might have seemed._

_"Ben, I'm so sorry."_

_"No, I haven't even gotten to the best part!" he nearly shouted, starting to sound hysterical, louder as the words poured out of him rapidly. "So, I go looking for her when, lo and behold, I see the two of them, sitting on a bench beneath some tree, hidden from everyone. That motherfucker had her on his lap! His hand up her skirt, touching what belonged to me! And she was enjoying that shit too, that bitch!"_

_I blanched at the way he cursed her, but I couldn't blame him. I was so angry at her, but I knew it was nothing compared to the agony he was feeling right now. I began to whimper, shaking my head as I held it in my hands, as if the simple motion could make it all go away._

_"She tried to deny what I'd seen with my own two eyes! She had been sitting on him, grinding on him, enjoying herself, that... that..." He stopped, catching himself from cursing her out again. He might've been so infuriated with her that if he could raise hell, he would, but he still loved her; she still meant the world to him. The images he had been describing were currently manifesting themselves in my mind even as I tried to push them away, and it made me hate her even more. All the same questions that had been running through my mind, he began to shout out loud as I sat in the kitchen, listening to him cry as I had never heard a man cry before._

_"Who knows how long they'd been fucking while I'm in New York, believing that she was still thinking of me..." he cried, his sobs sounding more desperate as some of his words squeaked out of him. "...That she still cared for me, that she still loved... me?" His voice sounded very shaky, and I had a hard time making out what he was saying. "Why, Bella? Why would she do that to me? Did I not mean ANYTHING to her? Why did she stop loving me? Why, Angie, why?"_

_Here we were, two old acquaintances, friends, who lived on either side of the country, crying with each other as all the words he'd spoken were left up in the air. If I could catch a plane and be there for him through this difficult fucked-up situation, I would. But I couldn't. The most that I could do was say that I was sorry, and it seemed inappropriate, cheap, hollow to me. It didn't seem like enough, but I needed to offer him whatever I could._

_"I don't know, Ben. I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry... so sorry."_

_The silence that followed was interrupted occasionally by his low weeping and mumbled words that I couldn't understand, but believed were more of the same questions he had asked me just a moment ago. I heard him working on controlling himself, but every so often he would start to cry again. It was as if the image of __Angela with this Patrick-guy kept popping up to the forefront of his memory, and it just caused a new round of sobs to take him over. I just sat there, listening to him as I would have done for Angela if she were in the same spot._

_But she wasn't in the same spot. The person crying on the other side wasn't her. Who knew where she was right now? Who kept her company this late at night? Was she sad about all the pain that she had caused Ben, or was she out celebrating her freedom from him?_

_I sat there at the kitchen table, the phone tucked between my head and my shoulder. My hands held the weight of my head, and every so often, I pulled the collar of my T-shirt up to dry the tears that kept coming down. After a while, Charlie entered the room. At the first sight of what was probably my very red and swollen face, he walked up to me, crouching down by my seat and looking at me in concern._

_I quickly lifted my index finger to my lips, hoping that he would stay quiet. His face turned red, anger replacing his concern as he mouthed, "Edward." _

_I rolled my eyes, quickly shaking my head, and I mouthed back, "Ben." At his confused look, I waved him away, hoping that it didn't come out rude, mouthing "later" to him. He wasn't offended, but concerned once again and stood up to walk away. It was only a couple of seconds before Charlie came back and placed a box of tissues in front of me, laying a kiss on my head before heading out back to the living room. My heart warmed for him and thanked him silently._

_After a while, the silence on the other side of the line became deafening, and I wondered if Ben had hung up the phone. Before I could get the chance to call out his name, he began to speak again. His voice sounded low and rough as it had when he first called me, but the anger was still evident._

_"I'll tell you what, though. It doesn't matter how many promises you make or how much faith you have that it's all going to work out. None of it matters because it was all bullshit. She's changed so much, Bella. You should have seen her. Everything about her changed –her attitude, the way she dressed, the way she looked at me– like I was some stranger to her," he croaked, angry but despondent. "Well, she's a stranger to me now. The Angie I knew died at the beginning of the year. Someone else replaced her because that's not the girl I loved. I should have known."_

_"How could you have possibly known that this would happen?" I asked, pulling a tissue out of the box in order to give my poor T-shirt a reprieve from the constant tugging I'd put it through._

_"Isn't it how that type of relationship usually fizzles out anyway? The whole long-distance relationship doesn't work, does it? How could we have thought we were so special, that we wouldn't fall for that shit? I don't know what kills me more; the betrayal or the thought I might have lost her much earlier than I know, and this entire time, I've been living in denial, thinking that everything was okay. I feel so stupid. Bella, I know that you think what you and Edward have is special, and it might be right now. But like with everything, it will fade."_

_"No, Ben..." I denied, even though my heart clenched at the thought of it._

_"No, Bella, listen to me!" Ben cried imploringly. "You have got to know that it's not going to last, that everything will start falling apart the moment you part ways, and one of you is going to become the villain, the bad guy of your story. One of you is going to crush the other, and I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but I really doubt you'll be the one to do that."_

_I gasped and shook my head as if he could see me, denying what he said. There was no way that could happen between Edward and me. It just couldn't. Edward was better than that. He was the one who trusted that we would be okay. He was not going to be the bad guy. I wanted to deny that he would be the one to stand there, unaffected and cold, telling me that what we had was over. It just couldn't be._

_He was good and kind. He wouldn't break my heart. He loved me so much and had gone out of his way to prove himself time and time again throughout our relationship._

_But wasn't Angela good and kind, too? And look at where they were now._

_Suddenly, my mother's words came back to me:_

"...People change, especially when they're transitioning from adolescence into adulthood. In that very important phase of your life, you'll get to meet new people, experience new things that will make you change the way you view things and open your eyes to a whole new world. You'll learn things that will take you out of the bubble you and Edward live in."

_Change. There was that word that held so many possibilities, both good and bad._

_Angela changed. Dear, sweet Angela –who just a year ago had been so afraid of change but had become a monster in Ben's eyes, a villain– was the cause of their __failed relationship. All because she changed, and in turn, he was changing. He was not the carefree, happy guy we knew him to be in high school. He was becoming this bitter, broken man who was starting to see the world with new, hardened eyes._

_What makes me think that Edward wouldn't change himself?_

_Against my better judgment, my mind began conjuring the things that could happen between us: the phone calls lessening with time, his interest waning to the point of boredom and avoidance, the slip of another woman's name during a conversation, a mere "classmate" who would eventually be promoted to "friend." I imagined the excuses as to why he wouldn't be coming to Forks for Thanksgiving, why I shouldn't join him in Chicago for Christmas._

_I imagined the dreaded phone call from him, telling me that he couldn't do it anymore, that he didn't want to carry on this farce of a relationship and how "it was him, not me."_

_That is, if he was decent enough to give me a call at all._

_Angela didn't call Ben. He found out on his own and in a very cruel way. Would it be the same with Edward? Would he lead me on until I gave up waiting and searched for him –only to find that he's ready to move on without me?_

_Distance was hard enough, but the lies and the secrets and the loss of interest would be too much to bear._

_I remembered my own mother had lost interest in my father and how quickly it all fell apart. But it was recalled through the hazy memories of my five-year old self. Who knew how long Renee had been contemplating leaving Charlie? Who knew how long before that fateful day –the day Renee had packed up our things and split– that she'd been planning on ending their relationship?_

_Charlie didn't even put up a fight to get us back. He just let it happen and stayed in Forks._

_But could I blame him?_

_I could see myself fighting for Edward, standing up for him against the rest of the world. But what if Edward was the one that I had to fight against, that I had to stand up to? I couldn't do it. What would be the point to that if he didn't love me anymore? Why would anyone fight that way if it was a lost cause?_

_I didn't want to go through that, to wait for the inevitable heartache that I would feel when he finally realized that he'd be better off without me._

_I didn't want to think of him –the man I had fallen in love with and who loved me in return– as the bad guy, as the jerk who stopped loving me, somewhere down the road._

_I didn't want the memory of him tainted with bitterness every time I would remember the look of indifference in his beautiful face. I didn't want to curse him to the very depths of hell whenever I recalled the tone of disinterest in his velvety voice from the last few attempts I'd make in reaching him._

_I wanted to remember him as the good, sweet and giving man I loved and not recognize him as the one who broke me, who broke my spirit._

_No. In my mind, he needed to stay the way he was._

_But, what would that entail?_

_Ben began to speak again, but my mind was being pulled between him and these painful thoughts that distracted me. I heard him apologize about not knowing what to think anymore, excusing himself because he wasn't in a good place at the moment and thanking me for listening to him. "Don't tell her parents," he warned me briefly, and I hummed in acquiescence. "Don't tell anyone. Not even Edward. As much as I hate her right now, I don't want anyone to know what she's done."_

_I swallowed hard against the massive lump in my throat and pushed myself to talk. Licking my swollen lips, I went to speak when I heard the distinct click of the line cutting off. I sat there, shocked at his sudden abandonment of our phone call and all of the things I had learned tonight._

_Ben was right. What made him and Angela so special to make them think that they could survive being apart? What makes Edward and me so different from them?_

_Sure, every time I was around him, all our plans fell into place and everything made sense. But the minute he was out of the picture, reality would rush back in to break down all my hopes of our relationship surviving. What would that mean the moment he would leave indefinitely for Chicago?_

_Did I want to wait for that pain to come in? Did I want to wait for those thoughts of uncertainty to creep into my brain, constantly putting me on the edge, wondering where he was or who was he with as I dreaded the day that it would all be confirmed that he didn't want to be with me anymore? The thought of it made me tremble inside with fear of what I knew would come to be in just a matter of time._

_"I have to protect myself," I whispered to no one but me as I sat in the too-quiet dining room. The impulsive words that left my lips surprised me at first. But the more I replayed them in my mind, the more solid my decision became._

_As selfish as it might seem, I had to protect myself, my heart, before he had a chance to destroy me. Because he had that power over me and his change would be inevitable. Because I didn't want to come to hate him one day as Ben hated Angela in that very moment. Because I didn't want to remember Edward as the villain of our story._

_No. I was going to be that person. I was going to be the villain._

_I was going to have to break him, break us like he would have done to me eventually, anyway. He was going to see me as the bitch who tore his heart out. The one who took all the time and effort he'd put into the relationship and just thrown it out the window without a care in the world. The girl in high school he would one day realize had done him a huge favor by pushing him away._

_The thought of what I had to do, the things I had to say and the way I had to be, killed me in that moment as a new round of sobs wracked my body. I knew I was going to have to hurt him in the worst way possible. I felt my heart throb in agony, and my entire being loathed the callous and heartless role I would have to play in order to make a clean break. He would purely hate me at first, I knew it. Whenever he'd think of me, his heart would be filled with anger and even hatred. Every time he would speak of me, bitterness would taint his words. But the reasoning behind my decision to break it off with Edward would motivate me to do that to him in order to give him the freedom he needed to do whatever he wanted._

_He would come to thank me one day though, I told myself, and if at any time I would see him again, he'd be sure to let me know how happy he was and how much he appreciated the good times we had._

_The little girl inside of me was kneeling on the ground, hiding her face in her small hands as her body shook with tears at the thought of not being with him anymore._

_I didn't want to live without him. I didn't want to stop seeing his smile, or hearing his laughter, or feeling him in and all around me. I didn't want to see his hopes and plans crushed, pulverized into nothing when I had to say the words that would end us forever. I didn't want any of it, and I knew that I would come to hate myself for what I was about to do to us, to Edward. But it had to be done and it would be worth it. I wouldn't have to burden him, wouldn't have to hold him back from giving everything he needed to in order to have the best, which didn't include me._

_But it would be for me as well; it would be for my heart's sake and my sanity._

_I had to protect myself._

_Gathering the box of tissues in my right hand and pushing off and away from the table, I placed the phone back in its base. I made my way to the living room as quietly as possible, hoping that Charlie wouldn't notice me pass by. But the TV was off, and the lights were out. I figured my dad had finally gone to bed._

_My feet fell heavy with every step I took up the stairs. The ghost of previous tears felt uncomfortable, sticky against the skin of my face and neck, but new ones kept falling as a million thoughts ran through my mind, thoughts of things that had to be done in order to get everything rolling._

_It had to be done before the summer so that he would have enough time to get over it all and start anew this fall. That would be plenty of time for him to forget me and move on, I was sure of it._

_I began to peel off my clothes and sighed gratefully that Edward wasn't planning on coming over tonight. I would have to call him up first thing tomorrow morning and make up a story as to why I was canceling our date to the meadow._

_I needed to call my mom and make plans to go visit her this summer in Jacksonville, preferably immediately after graduation. Knowing her, she'd know instantly why._

_I walked over to my bookcase and pulled out a book that Edward had given me a couple of months ago. A book of Spanish poems that I had promised him to I'd read as soon as I learned the language. There was one poem about 27 pages into the book. A poem he had read and translated to me during one of our dates at the meadow._

La Niña De Guatemala._ The Girl from Guatemala._

_The poem about the girl who had waited for her lover to return to her after being gone a long time, only to come back with another in his arms. The pain and heartache it had caused her was so much that the townspeople had found her in the nearby river, dead and cold._

_I felt for the girl in the poem when Edward had read it to me that day. But in that moment, as I stood in my room, I felt that I could be her. The girl who waited with bated breath for the love of her life to come back, only to be forgotten and replaced by another._

_I didn't want to be _La Niña De Guatemala_. I didn't want to watch my life pass me by as I waited for the goodbye that I prayed would never come, but would. It was time for me to say goodbye._

_I kissed the book, the page itself and placed it inside an empty box that was reserved for something else. Now it would be where I would place every last memory of our relationship as the day of our end drew nearer. The next few hours and even the following day, I spent it putting everything away: the book he had given to me, every picture we took together, every piece of memorabilia we'd picked up along the way, along with the music sheet for the composition he'd given to me for Christmas. Everything was going in._

_Everything except for my sketchbooks. I didn't know what I would do with them and for some reason, I felt like it was wrong of me to hide them. Once I was too exhausted to continue, I pulled a night shirt over my head and slid under the covers, hiding even my head underneath._

_I took one item with me under the covers, and even though I was too tired to do anything with it at the time, it was necessary. It was a brand new sketchbook. Not a dot had been drawn inside. It symbolized the new life I would live from now on; a life without Edward._

_I closed my eyes, fighting to fall asleep, even amidst exhaustion due to the tears that kept escaping. In my mind, I kept conjuring up images I wanted to fight off and feared what these pages would carry once I began to fill them._

* * *

><p><em><strong>In case you wanted to read the poem by Jose Marti called La Niña de Guatemala (The Girl from Guatemala) it's on my page here on FFN. It's both in English and Spanish.<strong>  
><em>

_**Three more to go...**_

_**Hasta la proxima. (Until next time.)**_


	12. La Lucha Contra Ti

_**Hello, all! Sorry for taking a while to update but due to technical difficulties (mostly RL) it is now that we have the following chapter. You guys have no idea how badly I want to go back to Anhelo Amarte. But we must finish this right. :D**_

_**After reading this chapter, if you'd like, check out my one-shot, an outtake of Siempre Te Amare that I've done for PTB University and let me know what y'all think.**_

_****_**_As always, I want to thank LoriAnnTwiFan for being so awesome, so humbling with her corrections, and so encouraging with her comments. Thank you, thank you, thank you!_**_****_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Wednesday, May 20, 1998<strong>_

_I had a plan. Well, sort of. And if said plan worked, by the time graduation would roll around, we would be..._

_My heart clenched for the thousandth time as the heaviness of what had to be done pulled me underneath a heavy wave of sadness and pain. I wrestled with it at every moment of the day, and I despaired at the thought of how dark my days would be once we'd... go our separate ways._

_But, it had to be done. There was no choice other than that if I wanted to make sure there was nothing to tie us in the end. So, I thought of starting off small._

_I stopped paying attention to all the little things because those were what counted the most. I stopped listening half-way through his conversations and semi-apologized for "being somewhere else". I pulled away quicker than usual when he embraced me, snatched my hand away from his when he held it. I even rolled my eyes in exasperation and curbed my smile whenever he whispered that he loved me. I repeated the words back to him as if the thought of loving him was the last thing on my mind and threw every excuse in the book to avoid getting closer to him whenever he sought to touch me._

_At first, he'd look at me in confusion, wondering what was wrong with me. Then, concern would pull his eyebrows together, and his hand would reach out to touch me, as if he knew it would help –as it always had– only to have me pull away further. He'd get really quiet, and I could tell his mind would run a hundred miles a minute, trying to figure me out until he couldn't hold himself back any longer and asked outright._

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing," I had responded one too many times. Sometimes, I would switch it up by making up some lame excuse._

_"My head hurts."_

_"School sucks today."_

_"Cramps."_

_It was never what really needed to be said._

_"I'm going to miss you so fucking much that it hurts to even think about it."_

_"I'm leaving you, and there's nothing you can do to change my mind."_

_"I love you, but it won't be enough."_

_The worst part was seeing the light behind his eyes start to fade whenever I pulled away. It had taken some time to get to that point. It didn't happen overnight. But every time I acted like I didn't care, I could see the hope he had for us diminish even more than the last time. He tried speaking to me about what he thought, what I thought and how he felt about it. But I'd always brush it away, looking at him as if he had lost his mind and quickly turning my attention somewhere else._

_It was in those moments that I worked hardest to keep my eyes from blurring or a whimper from escaping my lips in front of him. The little girl in me was crying, begging me to stop and change my mind, to go back to where we were a few weeks ago and hold onto the faith he had in us._

_I wanted to listen to her. I really did._

_But the image of Ben catching Angela with another man kept replaying in my mind. At times, the image shifted and changed so that it was me finding Edward with another woman, and I didn't want to wait for that to happen._

_I needed to protect myself, and it needed to be now. It was funny, in a humorless way, that I somehow wanted that dreaded day to come faster so that I could be done with going home and crying my eyes out. So I wouldn't have to come to school tired as hell and have to pretend that I didn't care for him any longer._

_We were currently sitting at the lunch table, talking and hanging out with our friends as the spork in my hand shifted the items of my lunch around my tray. I had been studiously avoiding the conversation of prom, which was just a little over a week away. It was to take place at a decent hotel in Port Angeles since the repairs for the school's gymnasium had begun already._

_It had never been an event that I looked forward to, mainly because I had two left feet. But, there was an added expectation that came with such an event when you were a part of a couple. Here at school, I was protected by my classes and the excitement coming from the seniors as the year came to an end. After school, Edward and I hardly hung out because he always had to run home and help out his parents with something or other. So, there was no chance of us being together for too long, which wouldn't give him an opportunity to push me for answers._

_But it would be different for prom. We'd be alone together for some of the night, and the chance of being, with him afterward increased by a long shot. I didn't know what I was supposed to say or do to keep the facade going, and I was truly debating breaking the promise I'd made Edward months ago of going to prom._

_His arm, which was usually slung around my shoulders, was laid atop of the table, occasionally brushing up against mine by accident. Whenever we touched, the humming of electricity was still there, but it was numbed by the distance that had grown between us, and he'd always excuse himself for making contact with me, as if we were strangers. It wasn't truly noticeable to everyone else, but our bodies were inadvertently turned away from each other, and there was even a small gap between us. He had begun to pull himself away as well, keeping his attention toward the conversation of prom, possibly tired of seeing me this way. This was what had become of us. As well as my plan had been working, it made the hole in my chest grow just a little bit more._

_But I wouldn't let him see how very aware of that I was and how much it killed me inside._

_It wasn't until I vaguely heard Mike mention my name that I turned my attention toward Edward and the rest of the people at our table._

_"So, Bella," Mike called me, pulling me away from my thoughts. "Did you see that you were nominated for prom court?"_

_"What are you talking about?" I asked incredulously. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward fiddle nervously with his long fingers while his left leg bounced anxiously. I was waiting for someone to laugh, to shout "just kidding," at the absurdity of me being nominated for prom court. But, when everyone kept looking at me expectantly, my heart began to race, and I felt my blood boil beneath my skin._

_From my left, someone handed me a bright pink sheet with a list of names under the words, "Vote for Prom King and Queen." The guys nominated for prom king were Eric, Mike, Edward, and another guy I couldn't place. In the column of girls nominated for queen were Lauren, Katie, Jessica and me. My eyes grew wide, and I gasped in anger as someone's idea of a sick joke hit me like a punch in the gut._

_"Why the hell is my name on the ballot?" I asked, ready to face the moron that thought it would be a good idea to mess with me. I wasn't a popular girl, and I didn't care for it anyway. I preferred to stay under the radar, but being with Edward and being the Chief's daughter made it kind of hard to stay invisible._

_I looked at the confused faces of those sitting around me as I waited for someone to answer. I heard the clearing of a throat to my right._

_"Well, I did," Edward answered, and I gasped, turning to look directly at him for the first time in weeks. He shifted over to me with a nervous smile on his face, probably hoping that it would soften the blow of this recent turn of events. "Everyone else agreed that you should be on the ballot, so they helped nominate you."_

_I didn't know why it was making me so mad, why I was having such a hard time with this. Maybe it was because, after all this time, he was still thinking of me, still caring. To be nominated for this by our friends should have touched me, made me feel special. Who knew when we'd be a part of something like this again? Yes, there was a big chance that I wouldn't win, with Jessica and Lauren being on the ballot. But the fact that they thought of me for this honor, that he came up with the idea and had gained the support behind it, should have made me see how much he was unwilling to let go._

_But, that was just it. He was making this harder for me. How was I supposed to be okay with any of this, when I was going to rip both our hearts out just a week later? How was I supposed to stand in front of him that day and tell him that I wanted nothing to do with him any longer when he kept pulling at my heart strings with the love he continued to give? Even after all I had said and done to him, he was thinking of me._

_That's why I was angry with him._

_Looking around the table one last time, I stood up from my chair, picking up my book bag and walking away, not caring that I'd left a full tray of food behind. I needed to get the hell away from this school and from Edward right now because all of the emotions that I'd been holding back for weeks were threatening to break free._

_I heard the heavy footfalls of boots against the wet concrete, and the rhythm of the steps behind me clued me in to who it was. It was crazy to me that I even knew what his steps sounded like. Getting to my truck, I opened the door and chucked my book bag inside before turning on him, ready to lash out._

_"Is that your idea of a sick joke?" I asked, hating that my eyes were blurring up with tears._

_"No!" Edward answered, surprised by my outburst. "I just thought it would be fun."_

_"What are you –stupid? I don't care for prom as it is! What makes you think that I give a shit about being prom queen?"_

_"Look, it's not a big deal." He tried to assure me, his hand reaching out to me as he had done many times before, but pulling away the second I flinched back. "I didn't think..."_

_"Yeah, you're right! You didn't think," I shouted in anger, quickly wiping the tears that streaked down my face. As the words spilled from me, I could tell that they were hurting him, but I just couldn't stop them from coming out. "Once again, you're making plans without telling me first. You know that people are going to vote for you and Jessica! And what am I supposed to do then? Huh? Wait on the sidelines like a good loser while she clings to your arm? Is that your plan?"_

_"Whoa! What the fuck is up with you?" he asked, anger seeping into his words. "Why are you acting like this? All I want to do is have a good time with you that night because it's one of the last things we'll do before I go to Chicago!"_

_"It was a stupid ass idea," I said, moving to open the door to my truck. But he was faster and stood in the way. The look of pain marring his features was something I both wanted and hated to see from him, but I kept trudging on. "I shouldn't even go!"_

_"You know what?" he shouted, shocking me into silence. "Fine! Stay home if the idea of coming to prom with me bothers you so much. I'll go on my own!" He pushed himself away from my truck and began to walk from me. But, because I was a masochist, I wanted to keep fighting. I wanted to keep arguing with him because it was the most that we had said to each other in weeks, and the sight of seeing him walking away hurt me more than I could tell._

_"Do whatever the hell you want. It wouldn't be the first time," I shouted at him, baiting and wishing that he'd stop where he was. It worked because he turned back to look at me._

_"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked, and I vaguely noticed that there were a few students standing at a distance behind him, watching us intently. "Are you still tripping about Chicago? I thought we were past that. I said I was sorry!"_

_Yes, he said that he was sorry plenty of times, and I had forgiven him. I was the one with the idea of him going to Chicago while I stayed behind in Washington. I was the one who initially said that we could make things work, and I hated myself for that. I didn't want that, and I could easily say so, knowing that he would change his mind in a heartbeat, just to placate me._

_How easy would it be for him to stay here? For us to start our lives together?_

_But what if it didn't work out, either in school or in our relationship? He'd throw it in my face, and I wouldn't be able to blame him._

_My traitorous tears continued to fall as we stood there, seemingly stuck in time. He tentatively walked toward me with his palms up in a silent plea as one would a dog poised to attack at any moment. I found that I couldn't keep him away any longer. I didn't want to. I truly wanted to hold on to my decision of pushing him away as I had been doing all this time, but it was too hard to do that. I didn't want to keep dancing back and forth over an invisible line of what I must do, for both his sake and mine, and what my heart screamed for me to do: to continue what we have, no matter the consequences._

_Finally, placing his hands on my shoulders and lowering his head to search my face, I surrendered and wrapped my arms around his waist as he pulled me to him. We held on to each other as I cried on him, swaying lightly on our feet. After a few moments, he sighed loudly and began to speak._

_"You're scaring me. You know that, right?" he asked, pulling away to look at me. I bit my lip to hold in the whimper as I heard the sadness and fear in his voice. It broke my heart the way he looked at me, the mistiness in his eyes. "You've changed so much lately. What's going on?"_

_"Nothing," I lied. I might not be able to break him now, but it would happen. I needed to steel myself for it when the time came. "I'm just... I don't know. I guess I'm just not excited about the prom queen thing. You know how I am." I chuckled, but it was forced. I knew that he didn't believe me as he continued to look intently at me, but I was saved by the bell. Even though I had planned to go home for the rest of the day, I knew he would follow me to make sure I was all right. He needed to stay here, and so did I._

_We began to walk back to class and he took my hand in his, but it was hesitant, as if he still thought that I might pull away. To be honest, I internally cringed when he did, only because I wanted to get away from him. He was still dangerous to me, to my resolve, and I was a danger to him and a future I was fighting for him to have._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thursday, May 21, 1998<em>**

_"So, I heard you got your dress," Elizabeth said from across the attic, looking inside a dusty old box._

_"Yeah, I did," I confirmed nonchalantly. I didn't know if I came off as distracted or uncaring, but it was all I could do to keep my answers short and sweet. A few minutes of silence passed as we continued walking around. Every so often she'd signal for me to come over to her side._

_The Masens were having a garage sale this weekend, and I had promised to help her out. Every time she pointed at some weathered box or faded piece of furniture, I was to place a small green sticker on it. Any of the items that were tagged that way would go out to be sold or sent to the nearest second-hand store. All of this was part of the moving process because –Oh yeah!– the rest of the family was following Edward out to the midwest, taking any physical connection I might have had with him and leaving me with none._

_Yet another reason to hold on to my decision to break it off with Edward._

_One of the things I hadn't anticipated about my separation from him was who else I would miss. Elizabeth and I had bonded since the beginning, which still surprised me to this day. She was like a second mom to me. She was always giving and constantly looking out for me. We've shared cooking recipes, have had lots of movie nights with just the girls and had been really excited to know that we both loved the same type of music. She had always treated me like one of her own._

_And then, there was Alice. She was like the little sister that I never had and wouldn't have for long now. She was always hanging on to me, trying to get my attention and had a knack for cracking me up. We had the best time at the Backstreet Boys concert, and she had told me herself that she wouldn't have gone with anyone else. That brought a tear to my eye, thinking of how true it was for me as well._

_I gripped the edge of a box as I thought of how much I was going to miss them, my breath hitching as I felt my heart ache with a new pain. I kept my eyes down as I moved toward Edward's mother, hoping that she wouldn't see my face._

_"Are you excited for prom?" she asked after a few more minutes of silence._

_Not really._

_"Uh, yeah, I am," I answered, trying to keep myself busy as if the job itself required incredible amounts of effort on my part. It didn't take any more than a few seconds before I felt her hands on my shoulders, gently turning me to her as she searched my face. Those same emerald eyes that I had been avoiding from Edward were now staring at me in maternal concern, and I swallowed hard against the large of lump in my throat, trying to keep my emotions in check._

_"Are you okay? What's wrong?"_

_Gah! I was having a really hard time keeping myself from losing control as her penetrating gaze pinned me down on the spot. In that moment, I felt like a child. The little girl in me cowered in her presence, and I almost spilled everything that had been building up inside of me for a while._

_I love your son, but I'm letting him go._

_I don't want him to hurt me, so I'm turning around and hurting him._

_Your son will one day hate me, and in turn, you might hate me as well._

_I don't want to break up with him. But at the same time, I can't wait to get it over with._

_I cleared my throat and pulled away from her, walking back to the other side of the room, pretending to find another sheet of stickers._

_"It's just that I have a lot on my mind lately," I responded, hoping that would placate her. "With Edward being so far, I guess I'm just nervous."_

_"I wouldn't worry about it," she answered. I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was still wary of me, but for the moment, she let it go. "My son loves you. If he were any other kid, I wouldn't say that. But he's very mature for his age. He knows what he wants. I believe it when he says he loves you, that he wants a life with you."_

_A life with me? If she knew how very fickle my life with Edward would have been, she wouldn't have suggested it. If she knew that things would not work between us, she'd be more protective of her son's heart right now._

_But it bothered me that she seemed so trusting of her son's future, and I wanted to make sure that she was watching out for his best interests. Who knows what or who else might come around to hold him back and hurt him?_

_As we worked in the attic in silence, the distant melody of a piano playing "Moonlight Sonata" reached all the way up to where we were and right into my heart, causing me to stop. He was sad. I could tell. But he would be all right, and in order for that to happen, his family needed to be there for him._

_"Can you promise me something, Liz?" I asked. She was holding a couple of old books as she turned to stare at me curiously with no trace of concern in her face. Avoiding her eyes, I looked down into the box in front of me that held some old toys I could only guess belonged to Edward when he was a child. Picking them up, I brushed the dust off the He-Man and Skeletor figures as I spoke. "I know that you'll do it regardless, but promise me—" I stopped to breathe deeply and pushed myself to continue. "Promise me that you'll take care of him in Chicago."_

_I wanted to continue. I wanted to say, "Promise me that you'll always guide him in the right direction, that you'll protect him and that you'll make sure he's focused on school, no matter what might happen in the future." But I kept quiet, not wanting to raise suspicion or make the air feel heavy between us by speaking these words out loud._

_I was met with a staggered silence as if she were replaying what I had just asked of her. I wondered if Elizabeth suspected what was going to happen, what her son would be going through in just a couple of weeks. Would she be angry at me for what was going to happen? Would she be disappointed? I didn't want to disappoint her or Ed Sr. or Alice. I had grown to love them, and they had become the closest thing to family besides my parents. I was going to lose a bigger part of me than I had anticipated with the loss of the Masens, and it was going to drown me further; I was sure of it._

_I continued to fiddle around with the two toys in my hands, dreading she'd call me out. For a few seemingly endless seconds, we stood in our respective spots. From a distance, I heard the footfalls of someone coming up to the attic._

_"Bella, don't..." she began to say, causing me to cringe at the pleading tone in her voice. But the door was opened as Alice skipped in and stood my side, ready to help us out and ending any further discussion. I smiled down at her with no little effort, asking her to show me the box of things that needed to be added to the garage sale._

_From the corner of my eye, I noticed Elizabeth continue to look through old books, but at a slower pace than before. I didn't know what was going through her mind and never got the chance to find out. It would be the last time before graduation that Elizabeth and I were alone to talk, and for that, I was grateful._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Saturday, May 30, 1998<em>**

_I examined myself in the full-length mirror that hung on the back of my door, occasionally turning around. There was nothing else I could add on to the dress with the exception of the shoes that were perched atop my dresser, waiting to be slipped onto my feet._

_I had spent the better part of today getting ready for prom. My mother and Phil sent me some money specifically for tonight's event. At first, I hesitated, ready to send it back or at least return it to her when I would visit them in Florida. They were struggling financially; we all were. But she insisted that I should enjoy tonight as much as possible and began with her spiel about my being her only daughter and getting to experience this only once in my life. I acquiesced only because she was dying to see our prom photos with the dress I bought in Port Angeles._

_It was simple, yet beautiful. I was probably crazy for wearing the strapless dress. Although we were approaching summer, it had been raining a lot these last few days and didn't look like it would let up. It was a strapless navy blue satin dress that was gently gathered on the side, pulling it firmly around my body to show off my slight hourglass shape. It fell to just above my knees, and it was comfortable, for which I was grateful. I was going to wear heels tonight, and it would be the only thing I would have to worry about._

_Well, that and whatever might happen between us._

_I would normally do my own hair, but with the extra money I had left, I went to the beauty salon down the road from school and asked them to keep it simple. As the lady began curling, I saw some of the other senior girls getting their hair done as well, and I tried to keep from staring. I wondered if they were truly going to prom or if they were going to audition for "Hairspray."_

_I was happy with the finished product. A braid began at each temple, connecting in the back loosely to give it a more whimsical feel. The rest of my hair hung in long waves around my shoulders. I began to fear for the ozone layer because of the liberally applied hairspray, but was glad to see that my hair had volume because it usually hung limply due to the weight of it. As I stood in front of the mirror, I couldn't deny that everything was coming together perfectly. Almost._

_What was supposed to be one of the most memorable nights of my life was getting a little harder to process. Tonight, as every senior and their date danced the night away and Lord knew what else, I feared that I would be struggling for air with the thought of my time with Edward running dangerously close to its end. It had still been awkward between us. The seed of doubt had been planted in his mind, and every time he looked at me, there was a distance that couldn't be shaken now. What I had done to him was working so well that it felt like we were practically strangers, and the pain of that sat heavily in my heart._

_I was seeing it on the face of the girl who stared back at me from the mirror as well– the dread of our inevitable separation. As pretty as I could admit I looked tonight –wearing the blue dress and the high-heeled silver shoes, the earrings his parents gave me for Christmas and the dark colors around my eyes that made them stand out more– I saw the sadness behind it all, oppressive and draining._

_My heart was beating rapidly, and my breathing was shallow as I leaned forward against the door, propping my hand on the edge of the mirror while I worked to control my anxiety. My stomach felt queasy, and I closed my eyes, hoping that I wouldn't faint in that moment. I was praying to the only God I knew for the strength and will to continue on with my plan. It was already underway. There was no turning back now. I had to suck it up and pull myself together to face tonight and the rest of the week –my last week with Edward– and hope that I didn't mess it up._

_"Get it together!" I whispered harshly, opening my eyes and working to strengthen my resolve. I spoke to the woman in the mirror, who still seemed very much like a little girl. "Get it together. One more week. That's it!"_

_It took a few moments and a couple of long, drawn-out gulps of air to settle down. Once I felt less panicked, I slid my heels on, standing on surprisingly steady feet as my hands straightened my dress. Taking one last look at myself, I squared my shoulders, keeping my head held high, and opened the door to what was the beginning to my end._

_But as much I had prepared myself for this evening and the last week we would be together, my resolve crumbled into a million pieces as I took my final step off the stairs and stared in shock at the most beautiful man I knew._

_I feared that I wouldn't survive tonight._

* * *

><p><strong><em>So, what do you think? I know, I know. The heartache. Next chapter is prom night. It should be interesting. :)<em>**

**_Gotta go. Celebrating my 12th Anniversary with my own Edward Cullen! _**

**_Here's the link for the one-shot: fanfiction s/8132013/1/ __PTB_SUniversity_2012 (No spaces)_**

**_Hasta La Proxima!_**


	13. La última noche que te ame

**Yep. RL still sucks... sometimes. **

**Not betaed. Please forgive my mistakes. :)**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Saturday, May 30, 1998 - Prom Night<strong>_

_There weren't words perfect enough to describe how amazing Edward looked this evening. He had always been beautiful, had always had a knack for taking my breath away. But tonight, there was an entirely other level to him. I was stunned by how sophisticated he looked in the black suit which seemed expensive. He wore a single white rose on his lapel which matched the corsage on his hand that was meant for me. He seemed to be nervous and fidgety, something that wasn't like Edward at all. It was like he was straddling the line between staying to see what tonight might bring and wanting to bolt out of here._

_"You're perfect," he whispered and my heart throbbed in reaction to the emotion behind his words. There was so much love and devotion in that simple phrase, that my eyes blurred and my throat constricted as I felt overwhelmed with everything. It took great effort for me to respond._

Keep it together, Bella. Keep it together.

_"Thank you," I whispered back and he smiled a tentative smile, coaxing mine as well._

_I didn't know how much time had passed, but it seemed like the rest of the world had disappeared and it was only the two of us. I didn't notice his mom and Alice taking pictures of my dress as he slid the band of the corsage onto my left wrist. I didn't notice my father standing off to the side with his arms crossed in front of him, looking at his baby girl all grown up._

_It was only Edward and me. If only it would be like this always, this night would have been perfect._

_As he stood before me, our eyes locked with each other, a hoard of emotions threatened to burst between us with things that needed to be said before time ran out. But we stayed silent even as our parents looked upon us and made polite conversation. Charlie was the one who broke our trance._

_"You kids have to be careful now," he warned and we turned to look at him as he spoke. Edward placed his arm around my waist and pulled me to him while I wrapped mine along his lower back. Elizabeth positioned us here and there, wanting different poses as she asked us to smile for the camera. Charlie continued. "Now, we know you're both practically adults and that tonight is pretty... you know... traditional." _

_Traditional as in after parties and drinking, which in his mind led to sex orgies and he had not stopped talking about all of that for the last two weeks. I shook my head and my face warmed in embarrassment, matching my father's for what I knew he would say next. I hoped that he wouldn't make this any longer than it needed to be. "Be careful... and uh, be safe, if you catch my drift. Curfew is..."_

_"Non-existent, Dad. Remember?" I said, reminding him of our conversation._

_Our plans for tonight were to drive to Port Angeles where our prom would take place. We were going to hang out with our friends, dance, wait for dreaded announcement for prom court, and then, spend the night there. I had spoken to Renee about letting me stay at the hotel and was happy to know that she would back me up, especially when it came time to tell Charlie. He nearly blew a gasket when we told him of our plans because he realized who I would be staying with. But, it was between being with Edward for the night and risk getting into an accident on the hour-drive back home. So, he relented quite reluctantly and I was glad I didn't have to bring up the fact that I was an adult and Edward's eighteenth birthday was less than a month away._

_Elizabeth must have taken so many pictures, that she would be left with several rolls of film to develop at the Thriftway's Photo Center. We hugged our parents, promising them that we'd be careful, or better yet, be safe as Charlie had reiterated about five or six times. Grabbing my wrap, purse, and bag with my things in it, we made our way out to the car._

_The tension between us was thick inside his car. The polite conversation had been done rather quickly and we just sat there, both of us drowning in our thoughts as Edward sped toward Port Angeles. It felt like there was a great chasm sitting right between us, suffocating and pushing us away the longer we sat there. My eyes shifted to see him, hoping that the simple motion wouldn't garner any attention._

_His hands were gripping the wheel, his fingers rubbing so harshly against it, that I was afraid he might pull the whole thing out on his own. His arms and shoulders were tense and his cheek clenched as he gritted his teeth. I didn't dare look at his eyes. I was afraid of what I might find there; what I would do or say because of it. _

_I stared out into the vanishing scenery and as the trees against the darkening twilight all around us became this constant blur, I kept preparing myself for the night. For most of the ride, we remained this way -silent, distant- almost forgetting where we were headed. We were only a few minutes to our destination when I was startled by his question._

_"What's going on, Bella?" he asked when the silence between us became deafening. I squirmed in my seat, knowing exactly what he was asking about but wanting to stay ignorant to it._

_"What do you mean?" I kept staring out the window as if the endless scenery of trees was so intriguing._

_"What's going on between us? There's something... I don't know... not right. It's not the same as it used to be. And please, don't say there's nothing wrong because I know you can tell as well."_

_"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied and he sighed angrily as I continued to squirm in my seat._

_"Dammit, Bella!" he nearly shouted, causing me flinch. "Don't you pull away from me. Don't you fucking play dumb with me." His hands kept gripping the steering wheel, twisting it in anger as if it were the only thing keeping him from truly lashing out. As he occasionally turned from one road into another, we could finally make out the hotel where the prom would take place a few blocks ahead. He breathed in deeply, holding it for a few seconds and then released it, working to control his temper as I closed my eyes, trying to push the tears away._

_"Just answer me this question," he requested once he calmed down. He turned into the underground parking lot, pulling out a ticket out from the machine and looking for a space to park. Once he found a place, he turned the ignition off but left the keys attached. He turned to look at me, his eyes beckoning me to acknowledge him and I helplessly obeyed. "Is there... Is there someone else?"_

_"What? No!" I answered incredulously. How could he think that I would do such a thing? I was not Angela. I would rather die than to do that to him. I looked at him, trying to convey the sincerity behind my answer even though it had been a while since I'd been truthful to him. But, of course he would ask that. I'd been lying to him and he'd noticed more than anyone I knew. How could I think that I could get away with all of this without him noticing? _

_For the first time in a long time, I reached out to him, taking his hands in mine. They were cold and I rubbed them, warming them as I hadn't done in weeks. _

_"No," I replied. It was simple, short and sweet. No excuses or explanations were needed. Anything else would seem dishonest, at least when it came to that. He searched my eyes and as we used to, we became lost in each other. Our hands gripped more firmly on to the other's hands and we began to drift closer. _

_"I'm sorry," he apologized after a few moments and I looked at him in confusion. "I'm sorry that I doubted you. You're better than that." I looked down at our entwined hands, swallowing heavily at his last comment. "It's just that I spoke to Ben yesterday and he told me about him and Angela and how everything went down between them." _

_So Ben finally called him up and told him the ugly truth. I wondered if he told him how long distance relationships didn't work and how it was all bogus as he had insisted on telling me that night on the phone. I also wondered if Edward had come up with that conclusion on his own and if that was why he had been edgy since he'd picked me up earlier this evening._

_"And you thought I was cheating on you," I said, but it sounded more like a question. I looked back up to search his face as I committed it to memory._

_"You've been distant lately. Can you blame me?" That last question hung in the air between us and suddenly we were snapped out of our trance by a loud banging on the driver's side window._

_"Stop fucking in there! You do that shit after prom, not before, Masen!" We both looked out to see Mike standing outside the car with a playful grin that could stretch from one ear to another. There, standing by his side, was Jessica, ignoring us as she picked at her fingernails. Edward began to wind his right hand in a circular motion as the middle finger on his left began to lift gradually and I giggled from my seat. It felt good to laugh even if it was only temporary. Edward's crude hand gesture made Michael cackle even harder and as obnoxious as he was, I was never more grateful for his rude interruption._

_Edward pulled out the key, got out of the car and came around my side. Opening up the door, he offered his hand for me to take and pulled me out gently. As he closed the door behind me, I straightened my dress that had ridden up on the ride over from Forks. He had been standing quietly and when I looked up at him, I was startled by his heated gaze as his eyes roamed all over me. _

_"I'm sorry," he apologized for the second time this evening and again, I looked at him, confused. "I'm sorry but I can't help myself." _

_He gently pushed me up against his car as he hovered over me, his body leaning deliciously against mine. I couldn't lie to myself any longer. It had been too long since I'd had him this close and as much as this went against everything I was working for, I needed this more than the breath he took from me._

_His hands let go of mine and slowly moved up along each side of my body. His fingers wrapped loosely around my waist, tracing my curves up to the sides of my breasts and my breath was coming out in short pants, my stomach quivering in anticipation. Finally landing on my neck, he cradled my head and lowered his face, his eyes locking into mine, his warm breath caressing my mouth. I licked my lips, anxiously waiting for the sweet touch of his and when our mouths finally found each other, our kisses became heated very quickly. _

_I dragged my hands up along his torso, feeling every hard line of his body underneath the fabric of his black shirt, finally finding purchase in his hair on the nape of his neck. I pulled him closer to me and if it weren't for the fact that we were in a very public place, I would have lifted my leg and rubbed myself against him to find the friction that I desperately needed. By the hard bulge I felt pressed up against my stomach, I could tell he wouldn't have minded either._

_When we were both too breathless to continue, he kissed me one, two, three more times and leaned his forehead against mine as our breathing slowed down. I continued to tug on his hair, rubbing the back of his head as he groaned into my ear and the sound of it went straight into the very depths of me. He pulled away after a few seconds, the two of us making some adjustments to our clothing, and without another word, we began to make our way to prom._

_To say that I was impressed by what I saw would be an understatement. I didn't know who had put this whole event together, but they surely had a talent for it. It looked like a night club scene with strobe lights and the occasional release of fog hovering above the ground. Balloons, glitter, and flashing lights were everywhere you looked. The DJ had been set up atop of the stage as she played some loud rap music that I was sure had been on the radio station fifty times today. Right in front of it was a large dance floor where there were a few students already jumping and moving to the music. Some showing off moves they'd been waiting for all year while others merely teetered from one side to another, obviously not knowing what to do with themselves. _

_Around the dance floor were large, round tables that were set up to fit about eight people and were decorated with more glitter of silver, gold and black sprinkled over white table cloths. We reached the table where our friends had been saving our seats and there were champagne flutes, without the champagne, with the words "Forks High Presents 'A Night to Remember' 1998 Senior Prom" printed on them. Even though, it was corny and clichéd, I had a feeling that it held more truth that it intended._

_Edward pulled out a chair for me and kissed my shoulder, his lips lingering on my skin and sending a shiver down my spine. I was glad for the chair because his kiss had so caught me by surprise, that my knees buckled and I landed clumsily on my bottom. Some of the others caught this and chuckled lowly, my face warming in embarrassment. But Edward sat down beside me, taking my hand in his and kissed every single knuckle. It was simple in its gesture, but the fire behind his eyes when he gazed at me spoke volumes._

_Not for the first time tonight, I forgot the world existed. I leaned in to kiss him, my hands cradling his head as he pulled my chair toward him. Our mouths collided with the other, our lips molding and tugging as our warm breath melded together. He caressed my thigh, occasionally swiping his strong hand underneath the hem of my dress, pushing it up a little more, just to trace back down to my knee, his long fingers tickling my calves. I rubbed my legs together as my insides begged for him to keep going, completely failing to acknowledge that there were others there with us._

_"Yo! Get a room," someone shouted, causing us to stop. We pulled away, giggling stupidly and it felt good to be here again. It felt right to feel him touch me, to see him smile and to have him look at me as he once did. _

_So for tonight, I would pretend that everything was going to turn out fine with our future. I would pretend that in a week, we would go on despite the distance. Pretend we would endure anything the world might throw at us and that no one could separate us. I would pretend that in the end, we have survived it all, making us that much stronger, impenetrable. Tonight I was going to pretend that he would love me forever. _

_The night continued on with our friends laughing and joking, dancing and shouting along with the music that was played. We would huddle up in groups to take pictures. The girls with their pretty dresses; the guys standing in different poses you'd catch on the cover of GQ magazine; people grooving to fast-paced songs, and couples swaying to slower ones. They played the song that was voted for our senior class: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) by Green Day and a few of us got teary-eyed as we sat around the table to listen to it._

_There was a buzz going around the ballroom as to who would get to be Prom King and Queen and most of our friends were hopeful that Edward and I would get it. I knew they meant well but I didn't care for it either way. I just wanted to be with him and make this night last._

_After a long mix of hip-hop songs, it was beginning to slow down. My shoes were off and his suit jacket hung on the back of the chair he sat on. I was leaning back into Edward's embrace as our friends joked around and spoke of the future, something I didn't want to think of in that moment. After a few minutes, the subject hadn't changed and I became restless._

_"Are you okay?" he whispered in my ear, his warm breath caressing the skin of my shoulder._

_"Let's dance," I said lowly, tugging on his hand to join me. __We walked toward the dance floor as some R&B song played and he pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around my waist as I placed my arms upon his shoulders. We swayed to the rhythm and the melody, along with lyrics, were so suggestive, that it enticed me to move with more purpose against him. I turned around in his arms and began to grind on him, loving the fact that he was already responding to me. He was hard and large against my back and I pushed my ass further into him as his hands began to roam. One hand was on my hip, guiding me as he rocked into me. His other hand was playing with the hem of my dress which I hadn't realized had ridden up as we danced. His mouth latched on to the crook of my neck, nipping and sucking as his tongue grazed on my skin there, causing me to grind against him even more. I turned my face up and our lips connected, our tongues swirling and massaging, not caring who was watching, students and teachers alike._

_"Bella, if you don't stop, we're gonna have to leave soon," he croaked as he kept moving with me, pushing his hardness into my lower back. I didn't care that prom wasn't over or that they hadn't made the announcement for prom king and queen. I didn't care that our friends were still here and that there was an after-party that we had been invited to._

_I had been aching to be with Edward in the most intimate way all night and I wanted to begin right away._

_"Let's go," I whispered and I hoped that he would oblige me in this request instead of making us wait to see who would get crowned. His eyes __searched mine and he immediately agreed. As students began to make their way toward the dance floor, Edward and I walked back to our table to collect our things and party favors. Once he put his jacket back on, his hands patted the pockets of his pants and jacket, searching for something as he looked around with a slight hint of panic. I searched around the table and our chairs to help him find whatever it was._

_"Did you lose the key?" I asked, hoping that wasn't the case. _

_"Uh," was all he said as he continued to look around. He inspected the hidden pocket on the left side of his jacket and finally sighed a breath of relief. He seemed to realize what I had asked of him and out of his right pocket, he pulled a red and white card before he smiled. The key. I was left wondering: If he immediately knew where the key was, what was he searching for to begin with?_

_He took my hand in his as we made our way out of the ballroom. From a distance, we heard some people call out to us but continued on, quickly finding the elevator which led to our room. Apparently, Edward had some really cool godparents who were the only ones who could make this happen. They had reserved and paid for the room and any extra expenses. It was a shame I never got to meet them so I could thank them. But it was probably better that way in the end._

_The doors to the elevator closed and at once, we threw our arms over each other and kissed heatedly. Against my chest, I felt something hard dig into me and I wondered again what Edward had hidden inside his jacket. But before I could ask, the elevator doors slid open and he took my hand in his, leading us down the hall. He was flustered, shaking as if he were wracked with nerves and I began to worry._

_"Babe, are you okay?" I asked while he slid the card inside its lock and after a couple of tries, the door opened up for us._

_"Yeah, uh, w-why wouldn't I be?" I didn't know how to answer that since it didn't make sense for him to be nervous. It wasn't like we had never made love before. _

_We walked in and I gasped at how amazing everything looked in the room. There were candle lights and a vase with blooming white roses in the room that matched the one on my wrist. The lights were low and on the other side of the room, the glass doors were opened wide, the sheer curtains billowing gently from the wind that came in from the outside. _

_It was beautiful, but it was a bit much. It was only prom. Why would Edward go through so much trouble to make this night perfect? Did he suspect what would happen in a week? Did his mom say anything to him?_

_"Edward," I whispered and in response, he took my hand in his, leading me through the curtains and out to the balcony. It was breathtaking outside. You could see the boats and the lights of the bay out in the distance like stars that had fallen from the sky. Tonight, the weather was surprisingly warm and everything was gorgeous all around us. My heart ached and I began to tremble inside in anticipation for what would happen tonight._

_"Bella," he murmured, pulling me into an embrace. I wrapped my arms around his lower back and rested my head on his chest, waiting for him to speak. He was shaking but otherwise, he seemed to be okay and he continued. "I love you. I know that things between us have been off lately and again, I apologize for accusing you of cheating. That was wrong of me."_

_"That's okay," I said lowly. _Because it isn't as bad as what I will do to you in a week_, I thought to myself. He pulled away and looked at me with so much love and adoration, my eyes blurred with the intensity of it all._

_"That's one of the reasons I love you," he said lovingly and he captured an errant tear that ran down my cheek. "You're so good."_

No, I'm not.

_He took my left hand in his trembling one and lifted it to place a kiss. We just stood there, taking each other in as the warm wind blew through our hair and clothes and I could not think past the fact that he was so achingly beautiful tonight. I touched his face, tracing every line of it -his thick eyebrows and his long nose, his high cheek bones, his sharp jaw and up to his soft lips- __committing it all to memory. Closing his eyes, he took in a deep breath as if he were bracing himself for something major before opening his beautiful green orbs up for me. _

_"'I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,'" he said lowly, taking one step back as he held on to me. This was the same poem that inspired the painting I had given to him for Christmas and I was suddenly jarred by an ardent, cosuming need to be closer to him. "'I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride,'" he continued to say and as his other hand reached inside of his jacket, I stopped him. _

_Whatever it was that he wanted to show me, he could leave for another day. I wanted him. I wanted him to know how much I loved him, how I would never stop, and I felt like tonight would be the last time to truly do that before everything would fall to pieces._

_He looked at me perplexed, his eyebrows pulling together, trying to figure out why I had stopped him. Placing his hands on my hips, I pulled him eye-level to me, close enough to feel our breath hit the skin of our lips and mix with the night air. _

_"'So I love you because I know no other way,'" I whispered, finishing the poem. I stood on my toes and finally, our lips connected, moving slowly, tenderly, but just as passionate as it had ever been before, making us both gasp for air. At first, he was stock still, his hands latched on to my hips, but it didn't take him long to respond and suddenly, he held me close to him as if he were afraid to let me go._

_I was afraid as well. Of the uncertain future, of the days and nights without him. I was afraid of the inevitable: him forgetting me, replacing me with someone new -better- while I had only his memory to hold on to for the rest of my life. My eyes began to blur and I held onto him even more, whimpering when he pulled away._

_Breathless, he searched my eyes lovingly, cradling my face in his hands and I let the tears fall for him. His thumb wiped gently across my cheek to catch a tear and he kissed me one more time before he spoke my name lowly._

_"Bella."_

_"Love me," I pleaded, tugging on to the lapel of his jacket as if my life depend on it. "Please."_

_Edward leaned down to kiss me again before his mouth traveled down the column of my neck. He walked backwards, leading us back into the room and stopping at the foot of the bed._

_I smiled, shoving him playfully to sit down as I stood between his legs. He looked up and his eyes carried an ardor that had me reeling. Pushing his jacket slowly down his shoulders, I felt the hard lines of his arms and back as I bent forward to slip it off. I threw it to the side of the bed and his eyes followed the motion. He went to stand and retrieve it, but I pushed him back down again. _

_"Bella," he croaked, his eyes looking between me and the jacket with some inner turmoil I couldn't place. But he needed to stop worrying about it so much. Soon, all of our clothes would end up on the floor and we'd be too busy to care about them. I shook my head and kicked off my high-heeled sandals, flexing my feet from the relief of having them off. _

_He was still distracted, a hint of worry on his face and I needed to fix that. I began to pull down the zipper on the side of my dress and the sound of it brought __him back to me, his eyes catching the movement. I took his hands in mine and placed them on my hips, the two of us pushing my dress down, revealing the strapless bra and sheer black panties I had underneath._

_Hungrily, his eyes roamed all over me as I tried hard not to fidget under his heated scrutiny. To stop myself from squirming any longer, I reached out to tug on his tie, pulling it loose and throwing it to the side. His hand moved to caress the skin of my hip, his finger teasingly slipping underneath the top hem of my panties as I unbuttoned his shirt. With the back of his other hand, he lightly traced my ribs before ascending to palm my breast, the knuckle of his thumb brushing against my hardened nipple._

_I trembled at his touch and not wanting to waste another moment, I quickly straddled his lap, my mouth searching to connect with his. He quickly pulled me onto him, our arms wrapping around each other as we let our mouths consume passionately. I felt him hard and warm underneath me and I ground myself, causing us both moan and whimper at the friction. When we couldn't breathe any longer, his mouth moved down my neck, his hands reaching up behind me, struggling to release the clasp of my bra. _

_"Oh, shit," I cried when he finally removed the obstruction and his mouth latched onto my breast. It felt so good, the cavern of his mouth warm and wet, alternating between teasing bites and slow licks before moving onto the next one. It caused me to move on him with more urgency, especially when his hand slipped underneath the hem of my panties to grab my ass, guiding me harder against him._

_"Fuck, Bella," he growled before laying me down on the bed. I instinctively spread my legs, needing the warmth of his body to cover me as we continued to kiss. He cradled my neck and back as we ground our hips together. I reached down, working to undo his belt, even as difficult as it was since we didn't want to pull away from each other. _

_Finally managing to open his zipper, I hiked my legs up on either side of him and hooked my toes on his belt, using my feet to push his pants down. He chuckled before moaning loudly, noticing that down along with his slacks, his boxers followed soon after, freeing his hardened length from its prison as it nestled cozily against me. _

_I reached down to grab him in my hand, pressing him against my covered pussy, whimpering as I moved my hips. His eyes rolled back as he thrust forcefully against me before pulling away altogether. I startled at the loss of him but quickly understood his need to move away. He kicked off his shoes, quickly getting rid of the pants around his ankles. I moved up on the bed, waiting for him to come back to me as I watched him intently, memorizing every inch of him._

_Completely naked before me, Edward crawled up toward me and hooked his fingers on the sides of my panties, pulling them down and tossing them to the side. Feeling more aroused now than embarrassed to be so exposed in front of him, I opened myself up, inviting him to touch me and have me any way he wanted tonight. He bent forward, his lips catching mine for a few moments before his kisses traveled down my chest. I gasped when he gently kissed my nipples one by one, leaving a wet trail as he moved down, his shoulders nudging my legs further apart._

_I was struggling for air, my chest rising and falling in quick pants as his fingers gently spread my lower lips apart, his warm breath hitting my sensitive flesh, causing me to buck. Feeling frustration and arousal, my brown eyes locked onto his emerald ones, not breaking away for even a moment as he gave one long lick, making me cry out at the sensation. The pace of his tongue flicking against my clit began to pick up speed and my hands clung to his hair, pushing his face firmly against me. I looked at him, silently apologizing for being rough with him, but he seemed to enjoy it, nodding his head in approval as he continued to eat me out. _

_He moaned loudly into my flesh and his tongue sloppily licked my quivering pussy. His lips gently tugged on my clit, causing the right amount of friction and in no time, I fell over the edge, calling his name out in reverence as he licked me clean. I shook from the force of my climax, my eyes quickly blurring and my heart aching as my body instinctively closed in on itself, working to hold back from breaking down in front of Edward and failing._

_I didn't mean to retreat from him but it had suddenly hit me that we wouldn't have this any longer. The playful moments we started with and the intense ones that never failed to leave me breathless, all of it would be gone and I seriously considered putting an end to this stupid idea. To confess it all to him and let the chips fall where they may._

_I felt the bed shift by me. His hands massaged my feet, slowly dragging up my calves as his lips followed along with the occasional nip and bite that had me squirming, despite how heavy my heart felt. I threw my arm over my eyes, hiding as he turned me and continued to touch me. My breath hitched and he stopped, moving up and pulling on my arm, but I wouldn't relent._

_"Bella," he called to me, still trying to pry my arm away. "You're scaring me, baby. Did I hurt you?" I shook my head and I realized I was wasting valuable time acting this way. In a week, I would be selfish and cruel, cold and uncaring. But tonight was for us and I needed to come back to him this last time. When I pulled my arm away, his face registered fear as he took me in, seeing the redness on my face and the tears staining my cheeks and I internally kicked myself for making him worry unnecessarily._

_"Are you okay?" I asked him, reaching up to smooth out the crinkle between his eyebrows as he looked at me in concern. I pulled him down to me, cradling his hips between my legs and wrapping my arms around his neck. He accommodated himself further against me, sliding his hands underneath my back, holding me to him. Reaching up a little higher, he took the pillow and tucked it under my head and I felt comforted, loved. _

_"I'm over here, thinking I've hurt you because you're crying and you're asking _me_ if I'm okay?" he inquired and I giggled through my tears. He smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes and I rubbed his back to comfort him. "What happened? And don't say, 'nothing.'"_

_"It was just... intense," I responded, reaching up to kiss the side of his jaw, hoping it would placate him. "It was just so good, I couldn't help but react that way." _

_One of his hands caressed my ribs, moving down the side of my body as it caught the crook of my knee and hitched my leg up slowly. __For a moment, he tried to read me, watching and caring for me so sweetly, that I was having a hard time breathing. All this tenderness and love needed to stop or else, I would cave into him. I needed to rebuild my walls immediately._

_Squaring my shoulders, I took a deep breath and purposely moved my hips, silently urging him to move. Internally, I began to pull away, wanting only our physical connection for one more night._

It's for his own good. Keep it together, Bella. He'll thank you for it one day.

_"I love you, Bella," he whispered, making my heart clench, but I remained silent._

_I ran my fingers through his hair, my nails slightly scratching the back of his head as I heard him purr with pleasure. Our lips connected, tugging and molding against the other as I saw his eyes close. I kept mine opened. Not because I wasn't feeling the intensity that was holding us together in that moment, but because I didn't want to miss a single thing I could get from him tonight. I watched him as he lost himself in our kiss, studied every expression and committed every sound he made to memory as I felt myself tremble anew. _

_His lips began to move slowly down the column of my neck and along my shoulder as his hand grasped my breast, kneading it and caressing it in his firm grip. His hips moved with renewed vigor, his hardness sliding against my warmth and pressing deliciously over my sensitive bundle of nerves. His other arm slid further underneath me, holding me tightly across my upper back as his fingers dug into the crook of my neck, keeping me grounded. His mouth finally found its way to my breast and I bucked my hips in response, causing him to growl._

_"I can't... Fuck! I want to... fuh... be in you," he stuttered lowly as he pulled his hips back, only to return, placing himself at my entrance._

_"Just do it, Edward. Fuck me," I begged before I kissed him, my body rolling underneath him, inviting him into me._

_"I want to make this special for you, for us, Bella," he plead with me. But his eyes matched the straining effort he placed on his body as he held himself from impaling his dick into me in one push. At this pace, he wouldn't last long and I knew he just needed to take me._

_Our eyes connected as he began to push into me slowly, his eyebrows pulled together. My breath stuttered with every inch of him that penetrated me and I whimpered loudly once he was fully sheathed, stretching me. It was such a deep, exquisite, and pleasurable intrusion, that he had to stop for a couple of seconds before he pulled back slowly, his movements deliberately driving me insane._

_"Edward," I cried, swerving my hips against him, hoping that it would entice him to move faster into me. But he wouldn't relent, pushing back into me with torturous precision as he held onto me. I watched the motion of his body in amazement, the way his hips flexed and released, the tension of his muscles as he moved to lick and suck on the crook of my neck. The sensations of his tongue and teeth sucking and biting me, marking me as he thrust deeply, had me writhing. _

_He pulled his arm from under me and sat up on his knees, looking down to where we were connected as he continued to move within me. He cursed at the sight and he swallowed hard as we slowed his movements. Stopping his thrusts for a few moments, he took my hands and pulled me up to straddle his thighs. The sensation of having him so deep made me gasp out loud and wrap my arms around his shoulders, needing something to hold on to. This intimate position made me feel strong and the friction from his pelvis against my swollen clit had me bouncing on him with more urgency._

_Our mouths crashed hard, tongues wrestling with each other as one large hand held my lower back and the other molded around my ass, kneading it and guiding me onto him. We were hot, a thin sheet of sweat covering our skin which helped us slide against each other as we moved. _

_But, the more we did, the more he lost the ability to hold me up and soon, he laid me back down onto the bed. I huffed when my back hit the mattress and he quickly wrapped his arm around my back, holding me to him. He inched himself up my body, my legs opening wider and hanging in the air to make room for his slender hips, settled flush against me as his thrusts picked up speed._

__We held each other tightly, my legs wrapped around his waist as he pounded into me. The sounds of our moist skin slapping against each other, my moans and his whispered curses as he came close to coming were music to my ears in this otherwise silent room, the sounds of the city too far to remind me there was a world out there. Right now, it was only him and me and it was, in a way, our farewell to the love we had. From my part, a wish that life would treat him well and that whatever path was destined for him, that he always remained the good man I've known him to be. __

__His lips latched on to the skin of my neck, his loud groan vibrating against my flesh as he pushed so hard into me, I was inching closer to coming along with him. I cried when he caused me to fall over, gripping and squeezing his pulsing cock as I felt him stiffen and flex in me, filling me with his warmth. His thrusts slowed down, his hips rotating into me, still reeling from the intense culmination of our love making. Our lips molded onto one another, our bodies sweaty and tired. __

__After a few moments, he pulled out and I felt empty already without him. Lying down and wrapping us both underneath the sheets, he pulled me to him as his arms embraced me. He placed gentle kisses on my forehead as we settled into a comfortable silence. It had been quite an emotional roller coaster and exhaustion was taking over my body as I caressed his chest, his fine hair tickling my fingertips. He drew slow circles along my back in a soothing motion and I would've been embarrassed by the yawn that escaped my lips due to his gentle touch if I weren't suddenly so exhausted.__

__"Bella?" he whispered as I moved to accommodate myself closer to him. I turned to look at him, admiring how his eyes shone brightly even inside the dark room. His smile was breathtaking and the way he held me said so much more than mere words could ever express. I returned the gesture, holding him as if I would never let him go even as I was about to crash.__

__"Hmmm..." I responded tiredly, my smile lazy but curious.__

__His eyes searched mine and in them, I found a nervousness that I couldn't pinpoint. As if he needed to say something, but was battling with himself as to how to proceed. __

__What was it that he wanted to say so badly? __

__Our eyes stayed locked and he sighed, squaring his shoulders, seemingly having resolved to continue on. But another loud yawn broke from me and I giggled apologetically as my eyelids fought to stay open.__

__"What, Edward?" I asked, prompting him to continue. He closed his eyes, a slight look of frustration hinted on his face for only a second before he shook his head. Watching me once again, he sighed, this time in surrender and he lowered his head to kiss me sweetly.__

__"Sweet dreams, Bella," he croaked, his voice full of some kind of emotion I was too tired to figure out at the moment. Confused by his abrupt parting, I figured that it could wait for tomorrow and I returned the kiss before placing my head on his chest, falling asleep almost immediately. __

__Because, in all honesty, whatever he needed to say could wait 'till tomorrow. __

__I was sure of it.__

* * *

><p><strong><em><em>Who do you think was voted Prom King and Queen? Or more importantly, and probably quite obvious, what do you think Edward was going to ask Bella?<em>_**

**__One more chap after this and then, back to Anhelo Amarte. (FINALLY!)__**

**__Hopefully by September. We shall see...__**

**__Hasta Luego!__**


	14. El Ultimo Adios

**_Hello, all. Yep, still unbetaed. Please forgive my mistakes._**

**_Catch me at the end of the chapter for a (kinda) quick A/N._**

* * *

><p><strong><em>Saturday, June 6, 1998 - Graduation Day<em>**

_It was lightly raining outside as it had been for the last few days. It was as if it somehow knew what would happen in just a couple of hours. I absentmindedly traced the edges of my ugly, yellow graduation cap and sat still on the rocking chair my parents used to rock me to sleep on when I was a baby. I sighed, my breath shaking as I got over the last few tears that fell down my face. I licked my lips, tasting the saltiness and I was sure my face was swollen and red, as if I had been in a fight and lost._

_In a way, I was._

_We graduated today. An event that was supposed to feel liberating, freeing, had me trapped in this room since it ended. It was supposed to be the commencement of our new lives in the big scary world and I couldn't help but want to hide from it if only for a little bit._

_This week was, for lack of a better word, difficult._

_On Sunday morning, after the night we spent in Port Angeles, I still couldn't let go of him and we made love one more time before we left. It was sweet, slow and very moving. Unfortunately, we had taken longer than we were supposed to and Charlie began to call the hotel looking for us. I would've died of embarrassment had my mind not been on other things._

_On the ride home, we were both quiet. The closer we got to Forks, the more the coldness of the last two months crept back in between us. It was like Port Angeles and Forks were completely different worlds even though they were no where further than an hour away. It felt as if our relationship, which seemed to have flourished during our night together, had worn out its welcome back home and was no longer wanted._

_Edward parked in front of the house, right by Charlie's cruiser and as always, he got out to open my door. I knew he wanted to say something to me. It had felt like that the entire ride home. But something was pulling me to go inside and I had a feeling that it wasn't my dad standing at the door, watching us like a hawk._

_"There was, um, something I wanted to ask you last night," he said, taking my hand in his and rubbing my knuckles with his thumbs. I kept my head down, fiddling with my overnight bag that held all of my things including my dress and heels, pretending to search for something. "But we never got to..."_

_"Edward, I'm really tired," I said, cutting him off. "I'm sure we've pushed Charlie a bit too far already and I have a ton of... stuff, laundry to do." It was partly true. I was doing laundry but it was part of the packing that I had started last week. Not a lot was going into my two pieces of luggage that I planned to take with me to Florida: just clothes and my sketchbooks. Everything else would stay here, including anything that would tie me to him, any pieces of our relationship that would remind me of us. Unfortunately, I doubted it would be so easy. "I have to rest. You should get some rest, too. Whatever you want to tell me, let's just wait until tomorrow, okay?"_

_"Tomorrow?" he asked incredulously, looking a bit panicked._

_"Yeah, you kept me up all night," I answered, hoping my smile would coax one from him as I looked to see Charlie had gone from the door._

_"You weren't complaining last night," he said, smiling warily, his head lowering to catch my eyes. For one last time, I sighed and looked up, letting myself have this connection. I chuckled but it sounded forced. I reached up to trace the lines on his face and pulled him to me as he wrapped his arms around my lower back._

_"Goodbye," I said and that word had more meaning than Edward probably knew. His eyes held mine for a few seconds longer, searching, before he sighed and reluctantly agreed to see me the following day. _

_Still embracing me, he cradled my head in his hand, his long pianist's fingers entwined with the hair at the nape of my neck, massaging, caring. I tipped my head up to meet his lips and when we touched, I worked hard to keep from trembling under his kiss. I closed my eyes, shutting them tightly to keep the tears from blurring my vision. _

_This was it. The last time I would kiss and embrace him as I've always truly loved him. I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him with all that I could express in these last few moments, not caring who might see us. I held him with a force that belied my weakening resolve and with a final tug of his lips, I tightened my grip on him only to let go abruptly, walking back to the house without looking back._

_Stomping into the house, I carelessly waved at Charlie with my head down as I worked to keep my tears at bay. At least until I could get to my room and I futilely hoped that my dad wouldn't stop me. From my periphery, I noticed Edward's car finally pass by the front window as he made his way home and I wondered what was possibly going through his mind right now._

_"Bells," Charlie called and realizing how cold my greeting must have seemed like, I turned around to acknowledge him, fighting back my emotions. "How was it?"_

Keep it together, Bella. Keep it together.

_"It was fun," I answered, shrugging casually as my bag hung over my shoulder, my left hand tightly clasped onto the strap. Charlie tilted his head, looking at me in confusion as he pressed on._

_"Did, uh, anything interesting happen?" he asked and I held myself from my rolling my eyes in front of him._

_"Dad, I can assure you there were no orgies," I responded, snickering humorlessly as I took one step back toward the stairs._

_"No," he said, chuckling. His eyes searched me, landing on the hand that held my bag before turning to see me. "Just wanted to know if anything interesting happened."_

_This time I didn't hold myself from rolling my eyes as I took one step up the stairs._

_"It's just a prom, Dad. But it was nice. I'm glad we went." Turning around, I continued my way up the stairs before Charlie stopped me by asking one more question.  
><em>

_"Does Edward know about next Sunday?" My heart clenched at the reminder of what that day meant and my throat constricted, not being able to hold the emotions any longer._

_"Not yet," I answered, my voice breaking as I felt the beginnings of a headache coming on. I didn't wait for my dad to keep the conversation going. I continued on to my bedroom, tossing the bag to the side and throwing myself on my bed, holding my pillow tightly._

_The rest of the week I practically ignored Edward. I avoided him like the plague, not taking any of his phone calls. Any attempts he made to speak with me during lunch or after school were quickly put to rest with cold shoulders and more excuses. _We had final exams on Wednesday and Thursday which kept us both too busy between studying and resting to spend time together on Monday and Tuesday. __

___Soon, painfully soon, it was Friday and the Seniors were supposed to meet up one more time to rehearse our graduation procession. ____I purposely avoided making eye contact with him as each student was called up on stage to receive their fake diplomas, not knowing what to say or do when he would come to find me. __But I could only hide from Edward for so long and as soon as we were let go, he went looking for __me, calling out my name as I rushed toward my truck. I squared my shoulders and breathed deeply, putting up my walls and wearing my mask of indifference._

_"Bella," he called out pulling on my arm to turn me. "Are we back to this?" he asked, angrily. _

_"Back to what?" I inquired, seeming ignorant as I tilted my head to the side questioningly._

_"You, avoiding me!" he nearly shouted, furious and floored. His long fingers tugged on his hair as the fire behind his eyes consumed him and I swallowed hard, working to put up a front. "__You, pushing me away. Are we back to that?"_

_"I don't know what you're talking about," I whispered, cowering before him as he towered over me. My back hit the driver's side door of my truck and the way he hovered over me didn't give me much space to breathe._

_"Dammit, Bella! Do I really look that stupid to you?" he asked, his voice cracking with emotion._

_His eyes were red, his lips dry and chapped. For someone so young, he had lines of worry that made him look older, exhausted. His shoulders were slumped forward and he looked at me pleadingly, sadness and pain marring his features. He placed his hands on either side of my head, not touching me but still close enough to feel the slight, dulled buzz there was between us now. _

_I did that to him. His light, the brightness in him had faded with all I had done and hadn't done for him. But still he stood here, hanging on to the very last drop as if it could save us both and it took everything in me to not give in. _

_But I had to give him something. I owed him that much._

_I inhaled deeply, slowly releasing the air through my nose and I turned to look out into the distance._

_"I just have a lot on my mind, Edward," I answered, finally giving him an honest response. I avoided his eyes even though I could feel them scrutinizing me. I folded my arms across my chest to keep from reaching out to him, giving him the wrong idea._

_"What? What do you have on your mind? I want to know. I want to help. Please," he begged, his words spilling from him in a pleading rush, his voice shaking as his mouth hovered over my ear. I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut. But even then, my tears escaped and ran down my cheeks. I wanted so badly to open my arms and pull him to me. I wanted him to do the same and never let me go. But I stayed that way, digging my fingernails into the skin of my arms as my resolve began to weaken._

_I stayed quiet, afraid of what I might say to him. I could no longer express the things I should in order to push him away. But I couldn't tell him the opposite, lest I get his hopes up. That would be worse. After all that had happened, the seed I had planted and the doubt that was already deeply rooted in him, and try to go back on that, to regain his trust, was an impossibility._

_With his left hand, he caressed my face, pushing my hair back behind my ear and cradling my head. He continued to speak softly into my ear and I began to tremble so hard, I was on the verge of exploding._

_"I feel like you're slipping through my fingers," he cried lowly and I could swear that I felt a water drop run down the side of my neck, a tear that did not belong to me. "Please, tell me I'm wrong."_

_"Ah!" I cried loudly, pushing him off of me with a force that surprised the two of us. He stood away from me, shocked that I had shoved him away. But the hurt behind his eyes was more evident as I saw his bottom lip quiver. "I'm sorry," I whispered, opening the door to my truck, starting it and driving away as it heaved and groaned all the way home._

_I've been a mess since I got home yesterday from the rehearsal. Charlie was worried about me as he tried to pry the pillow from my tight grasp, thinking that Edward had done something horrible to me. I shook my head, trying to tell him through my sobs that Edward wasn't the bad guy in all this. Charlie sat there with me, holding me for what seemed like forever until I could finally calm down enough to tell him everything. He stayed quiet as I told him of my decision to break up with Edward, of why I felt that he needed to be set free. I told him that even though this was the best thing for the two of us, I was scared out of mind of what the future might bring and that the best thing for me to do was to go to Florida until the end of summer. By then, I would return to attend the University of Washington in Seattle and Edward would be long gone, already starting in Chicago. _

_I felt bad for my dad. He wasn't an emotional kind of guy by any means and here he was, trying to console his only teenage daughter with her massive decision to leave her first love. But he stayed with me, only leaving a couple of times to get me some water and order a pizza even though I wasn't particularly hungry. I was exhausted early in the night and fell easily into a dreamless sleep, but it was hard to wake up the next day. I just wanted to stay in bed and not face what would happen._

_But eventually we made it to graduation and as much as I hated that bright, gaudy color we had to wear, we all looked good as a group. Edward was valedictorian and although his speech was moving, encouraging and full of hope, the set stiffness of his shoulders and the hollowness in his eyes belied the inspiring words he spoke into the microphone for all to hear. We didn't seek each other before graduation and I figured he was finally tired of chasing me around, just to get rejected again and again. Even after the ceremony, I had searched for him, just to see him from a distance but it seemed he had quickly scurried away from Forks High school for the last time._

_Now, I was preparing myself for the coup de grâce, steeling myself for the final conversation that would finally set him free. Wiping the final tears from my eyes, I reiterated the words, "Keep it together," in my mind as I made my way down the stairs. Charlie was in the living room, watching some game I had no interest in and when he saw me, he turned off the TV, turning to face me._

_"Bells," he called out to me as I stood by the door. "Are you sure you want to go through with it?"_

Not helping, Dad_, I thought to myself, sighing deeply. I remained quiet and he stood up from his recliner, walking toward me and leaning against the wall by my side before he spoke._

_"No matter what happens today, I'll stand behind your decision. It seems like you've thought of this long and hard. It wasn't some hasty decision and I'm proud of you for that. __But I will say that I don't think any of it would have been necessary." I looked at him, curious as to where he was going with this. _

_"__I can't tell you how I know but that boy loves you and he's willing to do anything for you, I see that. I feel like one day you're going to regret your decision and by then, it'll be too late." I closed my eyes, trying to fight the onslaught of emotions that wanted to break me because I was already feeling regret in every pore in my body. _

_"It's one of those things you can't take back as much as you try. You'll hurt the person you love the most because you never stopped to speak with them about everything. Your fear is what will break you, Bells. Not him." _

_I opened my eyes and walked toward my dad as he instinctively opened his arms to hold me, comfort me. I inhaled, holding my breath and releasing it slowly as he kissed my forehead. I pulled away from him, moving back toward the door and out to an uncertain future. _

* * *

><p><em>"Come and take a walk with me."<em>

_It was a small request that I would need of him- the last thing I would ask. That's all. After today, he would be free to be himself, to spread his wings and fly as high as possible without the burden of me, holding him down. He noticed that I didn't take his hand, which he had held out in invitation to help me walk on the rough terrain of the forest behind his house. He had done this many times before, knowing that his connection always brought me comfort and peace._

_Tonight I needed the separation from him in order to do what I needed to._

_For him._

_For me._

_We finally stopped at a small clearing in the forest, somewhat similar to our meadow. But this was an unsettling version of the dream-like place that was ours alone. It was eerie outside, the only light we had came from his house out in the distance with silhouettes of guests passing by the windows as they laughed and danced the night away. In a night like tonight, even the moon didn't want to be present. Just the stars. The stars that I'd wished upon time and time again as a child were the only witnesses to my sorrow, to my heartbreak._

_But I would not cry. I would not show weakness. There would be no kink in my armor because if he saw it, he'll want to fix it. I had cried enough already, getting it all out of my system for specifically this very moment. I would not break. _

_"What's going on?" he asked. Even though it was close to a whisper, it still rung loud in my ears in the silence all around us._

_I couldn't look at him. His beautiful, pale features could somehow still shine in the darkness, but I couldn't find it in me to raise my eyes to see him. I could almost feel him dreading what was to come. As if he could tell the future and know what I was about to say. These last few weeks, I'd given him enough reason to doubt. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders and dove in._

_"I think it's time we say goodbye, Edward. We need to end it tonight." I was surprised to hear my voice didn't shake._

_"Wh-what are you talking about?" he asked, stepping closer to me. Instinctively, I took a step back._

_"You know the distance will kill us," I began to stay, the tone of my voice sounding monotonous, callous. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans, closing them into fists and feeling my nails dig into the heel of my hand. I concentrated on the pain there instead of the one in my chest where I could swear there was a hole slowly ripping open. But still, I trudged on, keeping up a detached facade."The time apart will destroy us and it just makes sense to end things tonight in order to save ourselves the time and effort that would otherwise be wasted in trying to keep our relationship going..."_

_"Bella, why are you talking to me like that?" he asked, his voice failing to hide his anxiety._

_"You know better than anybody that long distance relationships don't work," I argued, trying to make him see things my way. "We've seen it happen to people like Angela and Ben. The distance? The separation? It tore them apart and I'm just trying to save ourselves the pain while we can." My voice cracked at the end as a bit of hysteria began to creep into me when an errant thought of my life without him -bleak, cold, and empty- tried to break through my charade. I worked to push that off to the side as I stood in front of him, just twenty feet away._

_"But we're not them. You and me, we're better than that," Edward whispered, his voice trembling. Even in the darkness, I could tell he was beginning to break down, his shoulders hunched over and his body shaking with emotion. _

_No, we were no better, no different than them, than anyone else who has tried to make it work._

_"_Bella, please talk to me. Don't do this. Don't push me away. __We have everything planned out already," he continued to say. "Talk to me, please._" _

_He moved forward as he reached out to touch me, knowing how his skin against mine affected me. But I was afraid that if he did, in just the smallest way, that it would cause my will to crumble and all of this effort would have been in vain. _I took a step back, my body shaking from both the cool night air and the cold, heavy feeling I felt it crawling from the pit of my stomach, like freezing water coursing through my veins and into every limb, wanting to drown me. Shaking my head, I knew that he would try to plead his case tonight and would give a good argument. But try as he might, I had already made up my mind.__

_He needed to be in Chicago. That's where he belonged. That is where he would begin his life without me. It was the only way. _

_That's what I kept telling myself even as I felt my heart pound achingly, as if it wanted to rip through my chest and flee with him._

Keep it together, Bella. Keep it together.

_"There's nothing to talk about, Edward," I said, sighing loudly, trying not to lose control over this conversation. I cleared my throat to speak and turned away from him, noticing that the pain in my hands was no longer strong enough to distract me. __"We're both adults and once we begin on our new paths, we will grow apart. We will meet new people and put our relationship in the past where it belongs. Chicago and Seattle are a world apart and you cannot honestly tell me that we will last through whatever the real world might throw at us!"_

_He was silent as my words hung in the air between us and after a while, I took a chance, glancing over at him. He was looking down, both of his hands dug deep into his pockets. I noticed his right hand was moving around and he seemed to be playing with something hidden in there. I didn't pay any mind to it, shrugging away a nagging feeling that crept into me at that moment. _

_Was he thinking about what I had said, letting it all sink in? Accepting things for what they were? After about a minute, he stopped fiddling with whatever was in his pocket and looked up to me, his face contorted in anger, making me flinch at the ferocity behind it._

_"So that's it? That's all," he spoke angrily, glaring at me with the beginnings of the scorn I knew would come but hated to see. His voice cracked in the silence of the night and I looked away, crossing my arms in front of me, having difficulty breathing. "So, the last two years we've been together meant absolutely nothing to you!"_

_I remained quiet as I rubbed my chest with my closed fist, willing the pain to go away. I was startled by the sound of rustling leaves on the ground as I heard him advance behind me._

_"LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" His shout made me jump, the anger evident in his posture and I did as he demanded. "Are you honestly going to stand there and tell me I meant nothing... NOTHING... to you?"_

_"Everything!" I wanted to scream but I cowered before him. _

_My rational side -the side that I hated with all of my might- insisted that if he thought he meant nothing to me, then maybe it would be easier for him to let go. I faced him fully and held my head up high in defiance, hoping he wouldn't see through my facade now that he stood so close to me. I couldn't lie for the life of me. It didn't mean he couldn't figure out his own conclusion from it. I swallowed hard and hoped my voice wouldn't shake from the ache that was tearing a hole in me._

_"No. That's not what I mean," I responded, keeping my voice low, colorless. "I appreciate everything that you've done for me, really I do. But now we're both adults and we'll be going our separate ways. Once we start out on our own, we'll both put our pasts behind us so we can look to the future."_

_"But _you're_ my future," he whispered sadly. It took everything in me to swallow back the cry that threatened to crush me and not beg his forgiveness for crushing him as well. I kept chanting in the back of my mind how this was all for his own good. But it was killing me inside._

Keep it together. It's for his own good.

_"Of course, I'll always love you... in a way." _In every way, for always,_ I cried inwardly as I dug my fingernails deeper into the skin of my arms. "I will never forget our time together. __But it's time to say goodbye. And who knows? You know what they say... 'If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever.'"_

_I knew to say that was quite careless. There would be no chance of that happening, as much as I wished it would. But the person who would come out winning wouldn't be me and one day, he would learn to be grateful for this. __He looked down and once again his hand twisted inside the pocket of his jeans as he stood there contemplating._

_"'If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be.' Yeah, I've heard of that one. Don't do this, please." He took a couple of steps forward, so close to me that I felt his hard chest push against my back with every heavy breath he took, but he did not touch me otherwise. He merely spoke into my ear, his warm breath washing over my shoulder and I fought the shiver that wanted to run down my spine due to his proximity. "Don't push me away, Bella. I love you and I can't live without you. Please..."_

_I couldn't stand it anymore. I needed to get away from him immediately. I began to make my way back to the house, trying to elude him._

_"So I guess this is goodbye," I said hurriedly, rambling on and on with stupid nonsense, not realizing some of the crap that was coming out of my mouth. I searched for a way out of the forest and started to see the back of the house through the thickness of the trees. "I really, truly hope that you're blessed throughout your endeavors. I'll miss you..."_

_"Don't!" he shouted as he followed right behind me. "Don't go, Bella! We're not done here."_

"_Goodbye, Edward!" _

_Suddenly, a pair of arms grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back. The sudden movement startled me at first before I heard his whispered pleas, begging me to stay with him. His solid chest pressed firmly against my back as he held me in place. I struggled to free myself, my mind and body warring between needing him to let me go and wanting to give in to his request. The longer he held me, the harder it was to say no to him._

_"Please don't go, Bella. Stay with me one more night," he whispered, his plea muffled as his nose moved up along the column of my neck, taking in my scent. My resolve swayed under the pressure of his imploration as I considered this. _

_Would it be that bad for us to spend one more night together? It would. I couldn't do it. Not to him or to me. If I gave him more time, he'd find another way to make me stay and there was only so much my heart could take. If I prolonged this, it would be to my detriment._

_I twisted in his arms, trying to get away but to no avail. It wasn't that I was weak; it was that my heart kept fighting me to stay and never leave him. But __I kept silently reminding myself that this was all for his own good and it was the little push that I needed to stop this from continuing on. I huffed and swallowed hard, hoping to quell the trembling in my voice._

"_Edward, let go," I commanded, but he didn't give in and I continued on in a louder tone. "Let me go, Edward. We're done. I don't want to be here and I have somewhere else I have to be. LET GO!"_

_I finally managed to break out of his grasp and mistakenly turned to see different emotions flutter across his face. He was angry, but the way his shoulders slumped forward, meant that he was beginning to realize our story had come to an end. This was what I was hoping, for him to see that this couldn't go on. Yet it did nothing to stop my heart from screaming at me that I have just made the biggest mistake of my life. He stood there staring at me as I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. He knew this was hard for me and began to walk toward me. I shook myself from my despair, putting my hands up to stop him and stood my ground._

"_Do not call me or in any way try to reach me," I warned him, my body shaking with the adrenaline coursing through my veins. But it was all too much and I couldn't keep the tiny bit of composure I had left in me. I gasped, my whimpers escaping me as I let my tears run right in front of him. "I will not return your calls and I will not think of you at all," I cried, my breath hitching with every empty promise I made. "There is no more 'us'! So, stop wasting your time on me, okay? Just... let me go, Edward."_

_Once again, I turned to walk away, this time successfully making it out of the woods and leaving him behind. Walking toward my truck, I saw the shadow of someone approaching me and I instantly felt heavy with regret. __Elizabeth stood right in front of me, both angry and saddened by my choice to let her son go. But she had to know that this was all bound to happen. She must have known after I made her promise that she would watch out for Edward. My eyes connected with hers as I tried to express all the sorrow and pain I was beginning to drown in and after a few seconds, I continued to make my way toward the truck.__  
><em>

_I drove home with no little effort as the tears kept clouding my vision of the darkened road ahead of me. Walking into the house, I saw Charlie speaking on the phone. When he turned to see me, he breathed a sigh of relief and whispered a few more words before hanging up. I shook my head, pleading silently for him to just let me go upstairs. I ran up to my room, locking the door behind me and turning around to look. _

_Within the last two weeks, I had stripped the walls and every surface of my room of any memory of us, leaving only the rocking chair, my old desk, and wooden dresser. The only reminder of our relationship that still breathed life into my room was my bed and it didn't matter if I had changed the sheets to be rid of the sweet and musky scent of him or, that it had been quite a while since he'd been in here. My mind could not erase all the intimate moments we'd shared in that small bed. The rest of the things were packed up in a box and stored away in the attic with all of my paintings that were currently covered in white sheets. I didn't know when I would come back to see all of my work, but for now, I shut all of it in there. All of my clothes and things were already packed away in a couple of suitcases that Charlie had stowed in his cruiser since I would be leaving before the break of dawn._

_Lost in my own thoughts, I was startled back to reality with a commotion right outside my house. I walked toward the window and gasped when I saw Elizabeth's van haphazardly parked on the driveway, the emergency lights flickering and the driver's side door left wide opened with no one inside. My heart jumped in my chest as the sudden banging of a large fist on my door caught me off guard. _

_"Bella!" _

_It was Edward on the other side of the door, pounding on it and twisting the door knob, trying to get in. I heard my father speak to him, but it sounded muffled compared to Edward's loud voice calling my name. I stood rooted to the spot by my window, afraid to go anywhere near the door because I might have just opened it and let him in. _

_"Bella, I know you're in there," he spoke loudly and I cowered into the corner opposite from the door. "I'm not letting you go. So, you might as well come out here now." I shook my head as if he could see me, but stayed silent, hoping that he would take that as a hint to leave me be. I sat down on the edge of my bed as the minutes ticked by, watching his shadow through the small crack underneath the door, moving from one side to the other. I stared as an extra shadow approached my room and heard Charlie speaking with him. Instinctively I got up and walked over, eavesdropping, wondering what he would say to Edward._

_"Son, I think it's time to let go," Charlie suggested._

_"No, I'm not going anywhere," Edward refused stubbornly although he was beginning to sound defeated._

_"Look, you need to give her some space," Charlie said, trying to make him see reason. "Give her some time. Let her come around on her own."_

_"But that's not what I want," he said. Or at least that's what I thought I heard him say, his voice sounding so low and lost. I walked closer still, my hand reaching out to touch the door as if I could somehow connect with him that way to bring him comfort._

_"We know exactly what you want," a third voice said, cutting into their conversation. It was Elizabeth and I briefly wondered when she had arrived. I imagined her reaching out to him, hugging him as she continued to speak. "But she's not going to give in to you like this, honey. Not right now. Come on, Sweetheart."_

_There was silence on the other side of the door as I leaned against it, anxious to hear something more. I heard feet shift on the wooden floor and I wondered if Edward had finally given up when he spoke again._

_"Can you guys just give me a moment?" he asked them, his tone sounding flat, resigned. I leaned flush against the door, placing my ear on the doorjamb as I made out two shadows walking away. _

_"Bella, please open," he implored through the crack, startling me, sounding so close. "Give me _something_, please."_

I can't_, I mouthed the words as I covered my lips with my hand, trying to hold in the sobs that yearned to push through. It was agonizing to hear him so broken, so despondent. I did that to him. I shattered him that way and rightfully earned the title of bad guy. _

_After a few moments, he sighed and the door rattled a bit, pushing back to me as if he were leaning on it. I wondered if he knew I was standing just on the other side of the door, leaning against it just as much as he seemed to be._

_"Okay, I brought you something," he said and through my tears, I rolled my eyes. That was Edward. Always giving, always thinking of me. I truly did not deserve him. _

_"Look down," he commanded softly and I obeyed immediately. Underneath the door, there was a sheet of paper he was sliding through, waving it from side to side, trying to get my attention. I swallowed hard and slumped down against the door, bending over to see what it was. I heard something sliding down the barrier between us and I figured he had done the same. _

_It looked to be some sort of poem and I relented, picking it up and squinting, trying to read it in the small amount of light coming from my lamp. I tried to make out the words although they were in Spanish, but it didn't take long for me to learn what it said._

_From the other side of the wood that separated us, he read the poem, translating the words, breaking my heart in the process. The ache and despair he felt were evident in the lines he spoke and the slight tremble of his voice caused me to whimper quietly._

_"It says:_

_'Don't go far off, not even for a day,_  
><em>because I don't know how to say it - a day is long<em>  
><em>and I will be waiting for you, as in<em>  
><em>an empty station when the trains are<em>  
><em>parked off somewhere else, asleep.'"<em>

_I slid further until my bottom hit the floor, holding the paper tightly against my chest as if I could somehow store the words where my heart would no longer be. I continued to look down at the sliver of light coming from the hallway, watching his shadow move as if he were accommodating himself._

_"'Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then_  
><em>the little drops of anguish will all run together,<em>  
><em>the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift<em>  
><em>into me, choking my lost heart.'"<em>

_His voice shook, his words beginning to run with each other as he pushed through the poem. All I wanted to do was open the door and hold him to me, to make the pain go away. But I was the villain and as the antagonist of this story, I had to see my goal through, even if I ended up hurting the person I loved the most._

_Well, I was doing a damn good job at it and I had never hated myself more than I did in that moment._

_"'Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve_  
><em>on the beach, may your eyelids never flutter<em>  
><em>into the empty distance.'"<em>

_I closed my eyes and leaned my cheek against the wood, my hands flat on the surface, trying, stupidly enough, to get closer to him. But it was the next few words he spoke that made me stop._

_"Bella, 'Don't LEAVE me __for_ _a second, my dearest,  
>because in that moment you'll <em>_have gone so far,  
>I'll wander mazily <em>_over all the earth, asking,  
>Will you <em>_come back?  
><em>Will you leave me here, dying?'"

_I cried out, gasping loudly, alerting him to my presence and torment as I closed in on myself into a fetal position. My heart was aching just as much as his. Our agony was as substantial and terrible as the other's and I let all the pain rip from me as I heard him do the same, no more than a couple of inches away from me. __But this barrier made the supposedly inconsequential distance seem like a hundred miles. _

_I was fighting with myself to just open the fucking door! The door knob was mocking me, pushing me to just unlock it and let him in. He cried my name, begging me to open up and with every heaving gasp I heard from him, my hand reached closer to touching the brass that would lead me to him._

_"Bella, please open! Just one more night. Let me in, please!" he cried but I would not relent -I couldn't- and we continued on like that for a few minutes or hours, maybe. It felt like forever until I heard Charlie approach him again. _I couldn't hear what my father was telling him, his words drowned out by Edward's pleadings for me to open up. But whatever it was, it made him finally give up after a few moments, although he made sure to say one more thing to me before he left.__

__"Between the shadow and the soul, Bella. Always."__

__Racked with sobs, I crawled over to the window where I'd watched him from so many times before. The same window through which he crawled through to be with me in any way we wanted to be. I stood on my knees as I hugged my chest, feeling like it had been ripped open and my heart had left its place to follow him. I rubbed my chest, willing the pain to go away as I clutched the crumpled page against me, watching him walk back to the car. I saw him staring back at me for a few seconds, his eyes looking hollowed and lifeless, before he jumped back inside his parent's van and drove off.__

_Before we could see the light of a brand new day, Charlie drove me to the airport in Port Angeles, where I would connect to Seattle and run away to Florida... like a coward, praying that this would all be worth it in the end._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Well, how are you all feeling this fine evening (or day)?<strong>_

_**I wanted to thank you all for sticking it out with me, especially when the story ended up being much, much longer than I had intended it to be. But there are some special folks I would like to thank and I hope you don't mind if I put you out there. :)**_

_**_**LoriAnnTwiFan and lindsey21412**_**_

_**pnkats**_

_**_**Reluctant Romantic**_**_

_**Vampyr08**_

_**_**Rachel Garber**_**_

_**3c Cullen**_

_**Eclipse-sis**_

_**_**Cullenfan524**_**_

_**CrystalpCullen**_

_**Gigi Cullen**_

_**Monroe88**_

_**lainigirl96003**_

_**light023**_

_**jea28**_

_**lindsaywin**_

_**haycrys**_

_**BigBsMom**_

_**MaryMary**_

_**zahir**_

_**dipsydoodle**_

_**twilightgma1954**_

_**CC Cullen**_

_**Shawnee_Rose**_

_**robda**_

_**Bettyfan**_

_**MaryMaryMary**_

_**luvsux**_

_**Just a quickie, I have a new Tumblr set up for my stories.**_

_**saraimcullen . tumblr . com**_

_**I have pictures of different things like outfits (in case you were wondering what Bella and Edward's prom outfits look like) and other stuff such as previews for upcoming chapters. That is, if I see enough people interested in the page. It is definitely NSFW (Not Safe For Work) and for 18+. So, to each their own. :)**_

_**Also, I'll be going out of town to celebrate my birthday... (Ugh!) After that, I'll be working on some more chapters for Anhelo Amarte (Yay!) pending that I find a beta for it. So... *fingers crossed, legs crossed, arms crossed and eyes crossed* we'll be starting up back on September. **_

_**:D**_

_**In the meantime, let me know what you think of the last chapter and I'll soon post a quickie outtake (What? More? Yes, I know. I know.) for this story. It's cute and sexy, I promise.**_

_**Hasta luego!**_


	15. Outtake

**Outtake of Siempre Te Amare - Chapter 10 - Edward and Bella decide to skip school after Spanish class to... spend some quality time together. :)**

**Not betaed. Sorry for my mistakes.**

* * *

><p><strong>Wednesday, April 29, 1998<strong>

_We finally found the usual hiding spot on the outskirts of Forks. Behind a thick cover of tall, dark trees he parked my truck and I was never more glad that he had agreed to skip the rest of the day with me._

_"Come here," he whispered as he sat on the driver's side. He reached out toward the hem of my skirt, wasting no time in sliding his hand underneath and when he found nothing but skin, he gasped. He quickly lifted my pleated skirt and his eyes widened in surprise as he groaned a low "fuck" into the cab we sat in. "Bella, you aren't wearing any panties?"_

_In response, I shifted my body to face him, raising my left leg up against the upholstery and keeping the other one on the ground, giving him a perfect view of my moist flesh. I tilted my head to the side, biting my bottom lip as I reached down to grab his hand. Placing both my fingers and his against me, we slid up and down, spreading the warm wetness that seeped from me. I pulled my hand away and whimpered when he continued to trace me smoothly, two of his fingers penetrating me soon after._

_"Okay," I whispered, pulling myself up to move toward him on my knees. I fed him my fingers that were drenched in my arousal, whimpering when he removed his hand out from under me so that I could move closer to him. With his other hand, he desperately massaged my breast, and again he gasped, realizing that I wasn't wearing my bra either._

_"Well, aren't you full of surprises," he said. I reached down to the zipper of his pants, and began undoing it as I crashed my mouth against his, quickly seeking out his tongue. As our mouths fought for dominance, I pulled on his pants and tugged on them, asking him silently to lift his hips. Once his pants were down, I straddled him quickly, too excited to wait any longer. We both moaned when we made contact underneath my skirt and I began to pull his shirt up and off of him. His hands grabbed my ass, pulling me onto him and I felt exhilarated as he slid his thick, solid length against my sensitive flesh._

_"Edward," I cried pleadingly, the warm feeling in the pit of my stomach growing hotter the more I rubbed myself against him. He quickly pulled the hem of my cashmere sweater up, not bothering to take it off completely and his mouth descended on my breast, biting and nipping as he moved from one mound to the other. He was desperate. As if he couldn't decide which breast he wanted to devour more and this caused me to move against him with more urgency, the head of his cock pushing into my heated center. I finished slipping off my own sweater as his mouth lowered to the bottom of my breast._

_The cab of my truck was absolutely silent with the exception of our heavy breathing, my whimpered moans, and the noise his lips made as he sucked on my flesh. His hands moved down underneath my skirt, grabbing my ass and pushing his thickness right into my throbbing clit, the end of him coming dangerously close to my opening._

_"Bella, let me fuck you, baby, please" he begged in between licks. I pulled away from him as I knelt on his side, tugging my skirt down my legs and quickly straddling his legs again. I grabbed his cock, stroking and spreading the arousal I'd left on him earlier as his lips sucked on the skin of my shoulder. His hands grabbed my hips, guiding me to him once again and I sunk slowly onto him, taking him in, inch by delicious inch as I held on to his shoulder with my other hand._

_We both groaned as I moved up and down his erection with deliberate slowness, working to get used to his girth since it had been about a couple of weeks from when I last had him. When he was completely sheathed inside of me, we paused for a moment as we began to kiss passionately. His arms wrapped around my waist, holding me closely to him with one hand on my lower back and the other kneading my bottom. My hands cradled his head as I let myself get lost in him and, after a moment, I began to rotate my hips, his cock moving in and out of me slowly._

_"Holy shit," I cried as my thighs helped me push down and pull up on him, already feeling the first signs of my impending orgasm tremble deep within me. I felt a small whack on my bottom from the light slap he delivered, the slight sting of it adding on to our arousal. Soon both of his hands were molding themselves around my skin, firmly massaging my ass, coaxing me to move faster, more forcefully on him._

_I turned to see him watching me with an intensity that had me shaking as his eyes roamed over my swiveling hips, the bounce of my breasts, and the squeezing of his waist between my thighs. He removed his hands from my hips and placed them on either side of his body. He relaxed against the back of the seat as he stared at my body move above him. There was a slight air of cockiness to his position that had me wanting to wipe the arrogant smirk off his face._

_I slowed down a bit, pulling away from him and lifting my hands to tug on my pony tail, letting my hair fall all over my shoulders. My fingers slid from my head, down neck and traced their way down to my breasts. I took the weight of them in the palms of my hands, squeezing and pushing them against each other as my thumbs brushed over my sensitive nipples, causing my hips to move over him again. I threw my head back and closed my eyes in delicious agony because even though, it felt so good, I wanted_him_ to do it._

_The crooked, cocky smile faded and he licked his lips when I cupped one of my breasts and moved forward, offering it up for him to taste. His lips wrapped around my hardened peak, his teeth nipping on the tip before his tongue smoothed the slight sting away and I clung to his shoulders just to have something to hold on to because it felt right and beautiful and so hot. His left hand took my other breast, squeezing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger almost painfully. I winced as I bit my lip, the pleasure and pain of it heightening my senses and he turned his head, engulfing my breast into the cavern of his mouth, loving the pain away._

_My hips gyrated in response to the sweet sensation of his mouth on my skin and my hands flew to different directions as they blindly sought somewhere to hold on to._

_"Oh, fuck, Edward!" I cried loudly within the confines of the truck, hearing the seat beneath us creak with our heightened movements. His hips pushed up into me as his hands pulled me down onto him once again and I bounced on his cock with all the energy I could muster. "Please, Edward, fuck... fuck!"_

_His mouth found my neck and sucked hard on my skin as we kept pushing into each other, our rhythm speeding up and becoming reckless. I reached behind me and gently grabbed his balls, stroking them wantonly in my fingers. This caused him to buck his hips harder into me as I screamed from the driving force of his thrusts._

_"Bella, ah, shit," he called out as his large hands that groped my ass kept me moving against him. The rotation of my hips on top of his, created a delicious friction against my sensitive nub which had me dripping all around him. I leaned forward, my head resting on top of his as I yelled out unintelligibly, watching the glass all around us fog up with the heat of our love making._

_"Ah, Edward, wanna... come... so bad," I cried as I felt the muscles of my stomach quiver and clench, the walls of my pussy tightening around him._

_"Please, baby. So fucking... close," he groaned, his lips quickly latching on to the bottom of my breast as he sucked there. I looked down to see his mouth carry the weight of my breast and the sight of it made me cry in pleasure, pushing me over the edge of sweet agony._

_I struggled for air as I licked my dry lips from the intensity of my orgasm. His hands grabbed a tight hold of my hips, helping me move up and down on his length as he pushed up beneath me, seeking out his own pleasure. He cried my name out loud when he finally came inside me. Our mingled moans as we fought to catch our breaths and the creak of the seat underneath us as we slowed our movements were the only sounds inside the truck we sat in._

_I slowly pulled away from him, our sticky skin peeling from the sweat we built up between us and I lowered my mouth to his, our lips moving languorously, tugging and pulling with satisfied exhaustion. I cradled his head in my hands as he embraced me, holding and stroking my back lazily. Soon, I pulled away, my body feeling instantly bereft from the absence of having him inside me. But we stayed close throughout the afternoon, just talking and listening to my old, beat up radio before having to head back home._

_This was one of the the best moments that I would remember all my life._

* * *

><p><strong><em>Thank you! You guys are awesome. :D<em>**

**_Until next time..._**

**_Hasta la proxima..._**


End file.
